A Preamble to Election Night

Here's a preamble to election night:

I am predicting that 26% of single ownership newspapers will call it a landslide for Obama. Only one media conglomerate will refrain from using the word. 66% of those voters who have been calling themselves "Undecided" will admit to fraudulently claiming their independence and confess that they were simply enjoying their 15 minutes. And some years from now when the anthropological studies are concluded, it will have been determined that 82.1% of American women could arrange their hair, purse their lips and with the help of certain glsses, look like Sarah Palin.

Comments

[yasmeen]

it's gonna be a tight race because the undecideds are predominately republican women who will break for mccain, so obama will be about 51% mccain 48% and 1% for others. however, obama will landslide in the electoral votes. i hope i'm wrong and he gets at least 55%. he needs a good mandate to boost his confidence in making the drastic changes the country needs to get back on its tracks (though bush has had to do most of the heavy lifting due to the crisis. how can they call obama a socialist after bush's bailout and nationalizing the banks and corporations?)

[BigHeadTodd]

Thank you, Norman. For anyone to say they're "undecided" in the hours before this election after almost TWO YEARS of getting to know the players on both sides is like saying "I can't decide whether I prefer eating turds or ice cream."

[UNCLEJOE]

PASS IT TO UNDECIDERS

It is always a gain to CHANGE a bad condition for an uncertain one..." Montaigne, 1580

"iNSANITY is voting for the same Party three times and expecting them to CHANGE." Uncle Joe 2008

"Wars are GOOD for business." George Bush, 2003

[jylnc]

Generalizing about any segment of the electorate makes assumptions that often are untrue. The undecided voters cannot be stereotyped into a neat category that will suit the left or the right.

I wait to make my final decision until the day I vote. I give each candidate all of the time allotted during the election season to state their case. I am not looking for my fifteen minutes of fame, uneducated, nor unlikely to vote. I vote and have since I turned 18.

To me it's like sitting on a jury and listening to both sides of the case. I render my verdict after both sides have given their closing arguments. I am a thoughtful voter. I research and think about the issues. I ignore spin and distortions. I do not demonize either side nor do I believe the hateful rhetoric tossed around during a campaign unless there is REAL proof. I look at a candidates record and resume. I ignore ALL campaign promises because they are vote snatching tools and nothing else.

And I never vote straight party ticket because that is uniformed voting at its worst. I am amused at the insults tossed towards the undecided voters but eternally grateful I live in the U.S. where we are free to make our own decisions about our vote.

[krocklin]

I can't remember who it was - Karl Rove or Karl Marx - who said the chickens always vote for Colonel Sanders.

[in4success]

late term undecided's are ambivalent purgatorios who see being fraternal with the "majority" as a measure of security. they'll break three to one toward whomever they believe will be the winner.

[arnray]

To really be more like Sarah Palin they would also need a lobotomy. Drill, baby, drill.

[Donald-Iowa]

VOTE OBAMA
VOTE MCCAIN
VOTE FOR ANYONE

But for gawd sake VOTE. Anyone who sits out this election and doesn't vote should be condemned to watching Faux News and Rush Limbaugh 24/7 for the next 60 days and then be forbidden to utter anything having to do with the economy, energy prices, or politics for another 6 months. And one other thing...no watching sports or reading sports coverage for a year....that outta teach em :-)

[feminancy]

I disagree. Here's my advice:

If you believe that one candidate will be the best for America, vote!
If you're still undecided after all this, stay home.
If you're planning to vote for McCain because Obama is black, get therapy.

[windyYooper]

good morning!

theres still time to

VOLUNTEER

i bet there is hot coffee at your local Obama for Change office

most likely it's free

[Freesia2]

Oh Mr. Lear, where is Archie Bunker when we need him? He'd listen to Sarah Palin for about 15 seconds and then tell her to "stifle it".

[naschkatze]

I'd bet, Mr. Lear, that most of these "undecideds" are the same ones who will not make it to the voting booths.

[paixa3]

yup, they also may be the truly DUMBED DOWN segment of society as well.

[Vickster]

Or they may be people who believe in the privacy of the voting booth and that it's nobody's business who're they're voting for.

[breezyholler]

many of these undecideds are folks who will not admit openly that they are going to vote for a black man ....sad but true ...And personally i'll be grateful for their vote...however discreet they may be about it !

[kenrynne]

Landslide or Upset headline?
How about: AMERICA TO PALIN-McCAIN: STIFLE YOURSELF

[breezyholler]

We Need to hand the McCain/Palin ticket a stifling defeat....VOTE FOR YOUR LIFE !

OBAMA/BIDEN @ WE THE PEOPLE

[LittleJimmieG]

Also, I think Sarah might have a future, also, on the Food Network, extreme meals featuring Moose, Wolf, Caribou and, also, Polar Bear. My best friend went to a wild game dinner once and said the bear steaks where the best thing he's ever eaten, so it might be a hit, also.
Those undicided voters, at this point, also, should not be allowed to vote for being unattentive, uninformed and too stupid....and I mean that even if they were tending toward Mc Cain. What are they waiting for? The Osama Bin Laden tape to tell them who to vote for?

[Sportswoman]

Ode to The briliant organizational Skills of the Obama Campaign
(to the tune of Everybody Must Get Stoned)

They'll call you when you're dozing off at night,
They'll call you when you're riding on your bike,
They'll call you and ask you to call some more,
And the folks you call have all been called before.
ButI would not ever hesitate
'Cause DESTINY:OBAMA next Tuesday awaits...

[breezyholler]

THANK YOU Sportswoman...for that little ditty....a natural born leader awaits us in the VOTING BOOTH...GO THERE EVERYONE AND GIVE HIM THE JOB...

OBAMA/BIDEN.....YOU GOTTA VOTE !!!!!!!!!!!

[Rhuaidhri]

I really can't understand the attraction to Sarah Palin, but then again I never understood the Jennifer Aniston attraction either. I totally understood why Brad Pitt went for Angelina, I mean what's more attractive than a woman who is an activist and UN abassador who also looks fab it a lycra jumpsuit.

[corkonian]

Bizzarely, Palins looks lead lots of people to blur the lines of politics (the future of the country) and celebrity tabloidism. Strange.