THE BLOG
10/21/2010 08:54 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

I'm Worried About Rush Limbaugh

Folks, I'm worried about Rush Limbaugh. Has anyone ever exploded, you know, burst apart, like if we humans had seams and they just burst open and guts and shit shot out in every direction?

Has that ever happened to anyone any of you have ever known even in the wildest of election seasons? 'Cause listening to Limbaugh in my car today, carrying on about Obama with less than two weeks to the midterms -- and I'm someone who's heard him a lot and knows what a screamer he is, how he can carry on like the kid you knew up the block who could stand there and holler dumbness until his face got red as a radish (oh, my God, is that where "redneck" comes from?!) -- today, riding with my car windows down, I thought, "This guy is gonna split a gut so bad I better put my car windows up even if I'm in LA and he's broadcasting from Florida."

So I put the windows up and when I got to a computer, I checked to see if Mr. Limbaugh was still in one piece or scattered in bits and pieces across the landscape, a chunk of bladder here, a piece of pituitary there and maybe his mouth around the wide end of a megaphone somewhere.

I'm happy to say I worried for nothing. Mr. Limbaugh was still in one piece. But one piece of -- what?