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A Super Tuesday Sampler Platter: This Season's Best Of The Worst

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Dear Roadkill Fans,

For today's Super Tuesday menu we present a "Best of Roadkill" selection of previously published treats. Enjoy!

The Roadkill Team

The following piece was produced through the Huffington Post's OffTheBus. Edited by Richard Riehl. Reported by Kirsten Anderson, Ken Bank, River Curtis-Stanley, Jodi Lampert, Julie Pierce, Debbi Plummer, and Theresa Weathers.

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Clever in Milwaukee; not so much in New Orleans (9/10): In a speech in Milwaukee last night John Edwards used a catch phrase that is not likely to be as popular with Katrina survivors, "We don't need a surge in Baghdad," Edwards told the Serb Hall crowd. "We need a surge in New Orleans!"

Richardson denies plan to siphon the Great Lakes (10/16): The candidate from the rain-challenged state recently proposed a national water policy because the Southwest is drying up while "States like Wisconsin are awash in water." Worried about the anxiety his plan might cause states with big lakes (and swing voters) Tom Reynolds rushed out a reassuring clarification Saturday. "Richardson believes firmly in keeping water in its basin of origin..." Now there's a snappy bumper sticker for you.

Now THAT'S Entertainment! (10/22): Over at the Five Interchangeable Brothers blog, one of the Romney spawn solicits suggestions for entertainment for a campaign event. A buddy recommended this young lady from a YouTube video, playing a trumpet solo while simultaneously performing an interpretive dance. Thanks for the tip, Romney fellow. But remember--you're trying to win votes for Dad, not scare people.

Own a little piece of history (11/26): On the Kucinich website, at the bargain-basement price of $219.95, you can buy a Palm Beach County Election 2000 voting machine. Not only will the famous machine containing actual chads be yours, but a replica butterfly ballot, plus a bonus letter "The Stolen Presidential Election of 2000" personally signed by Dennis Kucinich.' Checks should be made payable to the Progressive Store.

McCain's slip is showing (12/5): On his MTV-MySpace forum at Southern New Hampshire University Monday, the No Surrender candidate told students, "I'm older than Frankenstein and have a few scars." Catching himself, he explained, he meant to say, "I'm older than dirt and got more scars than Frankenstein." Freud must be laughing in his grave.

Candidate's coming out party (12/14): In a stop at the Student Center at Eastern Michigan University last week, Mike Gravel declared, "I want to be the poster boy of the gay community." And we thought Senator Craig had already earned that honor.

The Hounds of Huckabee (12/27): The Hucksters have posted a video on their blog featuring that YouTube favorite, the skateboarding dog. See, it's all about Huck's underdog status, and...hey, wait a minute! That's an English bulldog on that skateboard, isn't it? Somebody check his immigration status!

Hunter invites supporters to join him in den of iniquity to discuss Christian values (12/28): This from the no-chance candidate's email invitation to this evening's event at the Gold Dust West Casino in Carson City, NV: "Congressman Hunter will be discussing issues such as immigration and border control, 2nd Amendment rights, trade with China, national security and Christian values." There won't be any drinking, gambling or prostitution around there, will there?