Roadkill: OffTheBus's Ongoing RoundUp of the Awkward, the Ugly, and the Just Plain Weird

The following piece was produced through the Huffington Post's OffTheBus. Edited by Richard Riehl and Denise Wheeler. Reported by Kirsten Anderson, River Curtis-Stanley, Jodi Lampert, Julie Pierce, and Debbi Plummer.

Your water's safe with Richardson. Space invaders no problem for Rudy. Chris can't take you out to the old ballgame.

Richardson denies plan to siphon the Great Lakes:
The candidate from the rain-challenged state recently proposed a national water policy because the Southwest is drying up while "States like Wisconsin are awash in water." Worried about the anxiety his plan might cause states with big lakes (and swing voters) Tom Reynolds rushed out a reassuring clarification Saturday. "Richardson believes firmly in keeping water in its basin of origin..." Now there's a snappy bumper sticker for you.

Candidate says you really ought to give Iowa a try:
Sounding like the Music Man's Professor Harold Hill, Chris Dodd spoke to a cozy group of 80 Hawkeyes at a fundraiser Saturday: "Iowans give everybody a chance," he gushed. "If it weren't for Iowa, this process would be limited only to those who have the resources or the ability to raise them to go after the presidency." Which reminds us of another song: "If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere." That was about Dubuque, wasn't it, Chris?

Rudy will protect NH from Space aliens:
In a town hall meeting in Exeter, a young questioner asked America's Mayor, "If there's something living on another planet and it's bad and it comes over here, what would you do?" Channeling Darth Vadar, Rudy told him, "Of all the things that can happen in this world, we'll be prepared for that, yes we will. We'll be prepared for anything that happens."

Thompson uses button as surrogate: The baggy-eyed candidate has found a way to show-up even when he doesn't. Not everyone in Savannah can ante up $1000 to see Fred, so his campaign chairman has been handing out campaign buttons to those who hunger for his face but can't afford his presence. If that's the best he can do to win in South Carolina, one can only imagine what creative device he'd use for winning over the Middle East.

Richardson says he can do more than Gore:
The candidate praised Al Gore for winning the Nobel Prize, but claimed he'll be able to do more to save the planet. "Vice President Gore's efforts on global warming are awe-inspiring," Richardson said. "However, solving this problem will take more than the heroic efforts of one man. It also will require bold presidential leadership. I am ready to provide it."

Romney less popular than his map:
Apparently there was some jive talk last week that Freddy could catch up to Mitt in New Hampshire. But one look at Romney's latest campaign war map will surely prove those naysayers wrong. See the impressive display of little green house icons and dollar signs! You have to wonder why he isn't doing better than a single- digit lead in the polls in NH. If only maps could vote...

That's okay, we really just wanted to hang with you, Chris:
Remember how Chris Dodd was offering a chance to attend a Red Sox playoff game with him to anyone who donated $20.04 to his campaign? Major League Baseball says that kind of deal violates their rules. But don't worry--part two of the offer was that the winner would get to attend a campaign event with Dodd if the Sox were eliminated from the postseason. And wasn't that what you all really wanted anyway?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder:
Ron Paul walked away the victor at last weekend's straw poll in Iowa, conducted by the Conservative Leadership Conference. Well, he didn't exactly walk away, since he didn't bother to show up for it. Must have hurt the feelings of the majority of Republican hopefuls who at least sent surrogates.

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