Roadkill: OffTheBus's Ongoing RoundUp of the Awkward, the Ugly, and the Just Plain Weird

Edited by Richard Riehl and Denise Wheeler. Reported by Kirsten Anderson, River Curtis-Stanley, Jodi Lampert, Julie Pierce, and Debbi Plummer.

"Occupying Iraq's Ok--It's the dying that sucks": In a speech at the Waukee, Iowa Fall Festival, Sam Brownback sounded more like an actuary than a presidential candidate: "The key is getting our death loss down. We can be someplace for 50 years if we're not losing soldiers," the candidate explained. Have you checked with Baghdad about this, Sam? If Iraq wants a permanent U.S. police department, how about recommending ex-NYPD chief Bernie Kerik to run it? Word on the street is he's got time on his hands.

"Really? How much?": Insta-NASCAR fan Rudy Giuliani put aside his pinstripes for a few moments to visit drivers and fans at the International Speedway in New Hampshire (NH? How convenient!). But it wasn't all fun and driving around in an oval for hours. A www.citizen.com reporter asked if Rudy felt the "Petraeus-Betray Us" ad merely posed a question and was not meant to be a direct criticism, Giuliani said, "if you believe that, I'll sell you the Brooklyn Bridge." Didn't know you owned it, Mr. Mayor.

"Just sit quietly, children": From the Edwards blog: "Senator Edwards said on the first day of his administration he would submit legislation that ends health care coverage for the president, all members of Congress, and all senior political appointees in both branches of government on July 20th, 2009 - unless universal health care legislation that meets four specific, non-negotiable principles has been passed by that date." Prediction: there'll be no rough-housing, tree-climbing, street-crossing, or paper airplane tossing in the Edwards' house beginning 7/20/09.

"Attention shoppers!": Hey! The Thompson campaign website doesn't just sell you Fred stuff, it also has a "Fred's Featured Items" page that tells you what Fred likes. Let's take a look at Fred's faves. Hmm...well, there's a book about Fred. There's a Fred Thompson 2008 bumpersticker (Whew! Good thing he entered the race or that would be on sale!). There's a Fred t-shirt that just has the campaign logo, but also a t-shirt with a Fred face on it! Far out! Don't forget the travel mug, and for unique home décor, a roll of Fred Thompson 2008 stickers. Thanks for the hot picks, Fred!

"Looks like you dropped your WingNut, Duncan": Mitt, McCain, Rudy and Fred wouldn't take the risk of participating in the Values Voter Debate, but fearless Duncan Hunter was there. When asked what he intended to do to counteract the homosexual agenda, Duncan solemnly replied: "We need to support the traditional family....we must fortify the military." Just in case those gay terrorists strike, right, Dunc?

"Romney's hair straighter than his opinions": His hair may not move, but Mitt's stand on gay rights shifts with the changing winds. In 2002 then Governor Romney and his Lt. Governor Kerry Healy were full of "pride" according to a flyer they distributed all over Boston, which read: "Mitt & Kerry Wish You a Great Pride Weekend! All Citizens Deserve Equal Rights, Regardless of Their Sexual Preference." Now, if we could just get that hair to move...

"Don't forget the make-up, pardner": In the YouTube battle for idiotic images, Bill Richardson proves again that candidates who dress up like cowboys should just mosey on back to the barn. His latest video appearance has him donning a cowboy hat in an ad praising his achievements as Governor of New Mexico, after which...hold onto your cowboy hats, folks...into swaggers into a saloon, sidles up to the bar and sings out, "Give me a milk!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you've got tips for OffTheBus's Roadkill team, please send an email to [e-mail] with "Roadkill" in the subject line. If you're interested in joining our team and helping put together this feature, send an email to [e-mail] with "Roadkill volunteer" in the subject line.

Comments

[MidMo]

That richardson is OLD not new. Just a point