It is likely that we won't ever know or much less understand what was going on in Lisette Bamenga's mind when she killed her two young children last week. Psychosis is one of the most terrifying aspects of humanity, and this is a tragedy beyond our comprehension.
I work with Lisette at Public School 58 in Brooklyn. She is warm, calm, and confident. She is one of the least stressed out teachers in the building, and we all admire her for it. Even with all of the current demands of public education -- increasingly large class sizes, the pressures of state testing, and never enough hours in the day, Lisette strolls through the hallways, smiling, always taking the time to say hello and to talk. The children adore her.
When a friend called with the shocking news on Friday morning, I was in disbelief. "Oh, my god," was all I could say.
After I hung up the phone, more texts, e-mails and phone calls began firing. Each person I spoke to came to the same conclusion. Postpartum psychosis was the only explanation for a beloved colleague to commit such a senseless and tragic act. Each phone call that day began with shock, tears, and grief, and each ended with, "Why doesn't this country take better care of its mothers and children?"
The city of New York gives teaching mothers six weeks of unpaid maternity leave after the birth of their children. If you happen to have a C-section, you get eight weeks unpaid. It's actually classified as disability leave, because you are physically unable to work after the toll the process of childbirth takes on your body. It has nothing to do with caring for your child or your psychological wellbeing.
I have known teachers (myself included) who have gone into labor in the classroom while trying to work up until the very last minute to avoid going off payroll too early. They have no choice.
This problem isn't just with the board of education, or the city of New York. It is a systemic failure in this country to take care of its most vulnerable citizens. It is a fundamental lack of understanding of what should be our greatest priority, and it is downright inhumane. The United States is the only industrialized country in the world with no national law mandating paid time off for new parents. In fact, we are one of only four countries in the world without such a law. Liberia, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea are the only other sovereign nations who choose not to ensure that infants and new mothers get the proper pre- and post-natal care that they deserve.
Even in Iran, Afghanistan, and Iraq new mothers get at least two full months of paid maternity leave. How can it be that these countries that are by no means known for their progressive stances towards women's rights and gender equality have better policies in place? We pay a very high price for our poor policies in this country, and our government should be ashamed.
Any parent in this country without the financial resources to cover a period of an extended unpaid leave (ninety nine percent of us) must return to work immediately, find affordable child care, and trust someone else with caring for her infant in those first crucial months. Then, the parent must come home exhausted and depleted to begin the second shift, to bond with her infant. Without systems in place to protect mothers and children, we can only expect more senseless tragedies.
For women who are not predisposed to postpartum depression and psychosis, we can push through, unhappy with the circumstances but knowing that this is what we have to do for our babies and our families. We suffer situational depression and lean on our co-workers, families, and friends to help us through. For Lisette and other women whose mental state is more precarious, the stress of juggling sleep-deprivation, caring for an infant and an older sibling, the demands of a full time job, and holding a marriage together is more than enough to trigger an acute postpartum psychosis. Lisette will never recover from this. She has killed her babies. Her life is over.
We don't know the details yet about all that happened, or exactly how Lisette found herself in such a deranged state. But we can know with certainty that this country's parental leave policies did nothing to protect those poor children. We should be ashamed.
I have read several comments to your article and it seems that people forget that we do not live in a true free market society, and most people would not want to. Legislation like the FLSA already mandate a minimum wage and a 40 hour work week to protect covered American workers regardless of whether they would agree to bargain away these protections in exchange for having a job. Without these protections, even kind employers would be forced to compete with the least scrupulous in the private sector potentially causing a race to the bottom. In the modern era we take for granted the basic protections afforded to covered workers by these labor laws, but they have not always been in place.
In the civilized world we regulate businesses to protect the labor force (among other reasons!). The only question is where to strike the compromise--how to balance the often competing needs of private businesses and the wage earning worker. So, to be clear, unless these commenters truly believe that we should dial back the clock to the days before our labor laws were enacted, and live in a laissez-faire economy that resembles a Dickens novel, what they're really arguing is that they believe in a balance that favors the needs of businesses over the needs of working mothers.
I agree wholeheartedly with your comments on paid maternity leave in the US, or lack thereof. I would also question the lack of care for mothers in the post-partum period in the US. Having given birth in Australia and New York, I was stunned by how little consideration is given to a new mother from her first moments in the labour and delivery ward through the early months of parenting. In the US I felt that from the moment of birth, mother and baby are considered absolutely separate entities, with little consideration beyond the physical exams post-partum given to mothers. When I asked my wonderful midwife in New York about such services she told me they just didn't exist: "Once you've had your baby, mothers are forgotten". Here in Australia there are numerous checks on both mother and baby, with home visits from midwives, free parenting classes within hospitals and community centres, drop-in childhood health clinics and numerous phone lines set up to support mothers/parents, to name but a few. Perhaps if such a net were spread in the US we would catch cases before such tragedy occurs.
I agree that here has been a huge societal shift over the last few decades, with rising housing costs, the prohibitive cost of childcare and pre-school programs (especially in large urban areas), salaries not keeping up with inflation rates, and many adults (who are seeking high-paying jobs) saddled with ridiculous amounts of education loans. I know very few families who are financially comfortable with only one working parent. I hope this tragedy can move us to action as well. Something has to change.
The public sector depends on the private sector. And so far I haven't seen the teachers unions calling for an end to globalization, end to amnesty, end to work visas , or an end to free trade. So of course things are going to get much worse for public employees. We are $17 trillion in debt and with free trade the rich have us all over a barrel.
Either way, forced paid medical leave is rubbish. Why should your employer pay for your life choices? You do work for him/her and in return get paid a salary or hourly wage.
Instead, wait to have children until you can afford to take 12 weeks off work.
Yes there are choices to make in life. I run a business and I offer my female employees paid maternity leave. I find it abhorrent that it is not mandated. There is a profound moral hypocrisy about all this.
Regardless of how justified (or unjustified) paid maternity leave is (or lack thereof), does it really make sense to have a child when you can barely afford it as it is? When a few weeks without pay matter that tremendously to a mother, I don't think having babies is the wisest choice.
Such an attitude is what is driving America to bankruptcy.
We should not be offering anything more.
Any time off a parent gets, a non-parent deserves as well. It would only increase the cost of labor, and make the US less competitive.
It is emblematic of a whole society that has become so self-centered that it cannot even consider something that is basic common sense everywhere else in the world.