Go Green: Give Nothing

Why is it that every holiday shopping season, I somehow believe the most useless mechanized piece of plastic will make the perfect Christmas gift?

Exhibit A: Christmas 1996. I gave my father the Sharper Image Dual-Turbo Nose Hair Clipper. Two rotary cutting heads trimming in perfect harmony, blades whirling at an impressive 6,000 RPM, every last unsuspecting nose hair, hacked into oblivion . . . what was I thinking?

Exhibit B: Christmas 2003: I gave my mother a Jesse "The Body" Ventura political action figure. Does my mother play with action figures? Does yours? And why would either care for a wrestler turned governor of Minnesota? Funny how Jesse, "The Body" Ventura rests--original plastic wrap and all--in the depths of my closet.

Exhibit C: Christmas 2005. The Archie Mcphee Electronic Yodeling Pickle for unspecified recipient. It comes with detachable plastic lederhosen. Enough said.

Perhaps I was confused. The flashing Christmas lights, the caroling, the handsome sales assistant laughing at my jokes . . . but there is simply no excuse for buying and giving these terrible gifts. Even eggnog spiked with hallucinogens would not permit such lapse in taste and judgment.

With only 12 days of holiday shopping left, I'm taking a vow to give "green gifts" this year. And by "green", I don't mean solar powered gadgets or biodegradable hemp socks. I'm just giving gifts that people actually want, that won't end up stashed in the back of a closet--or worse, the landfill.

It will take a little extra research, some creativity, perhaps even a bit more time, but there are plenty of "green gifts" out there. Just think of useful things that don't require batteries, excessive packaging and hefty carbon emissions.

Take for example, a "service gift." My father hates junk mail--hates it--so he's getting a subscription to Green Dimes, a program that stops unwanted mail. My Grandmother is a glutton for massages. No doubt she will get one this Christmas.

Another gift that's super green and doesn't require any thing at all, is the donation. A financial contribution cuts back on consumption and helps those who really need. My favorite organizations include:

* Biomimicry Institute
* David Suzuki Foundation
* Heifer International

Aside from the Biomimicry Institute and David Suzuki's Foundation, I'm a huge fan of Heifer International. This program cracks me up! For just $20-$150 dollars I can bequest a sheep, cow, goat, or llama to a family in need. The family will use the animal to generate milk, food and clothing. My mother, a true giver, the one who holds my family together, would love this gift. I'll write her a silly card that says, "a llama for my mama."

Given my new efforts to be a bit more conscious, I'm trying to think of gifts as a reflection of the recipient. Although I don't think my mother is like a llama, I do think she is generous and self-sacrificing. A llama in her name signifies her authentic, non-toxic and "green" munificence.

For more holiday season tips, click here for more from Huffington Post's Living!

Comments

[enilorac]

Yes me. I was def. having trouble getting into your comments, but now ok.
Olivia Zaleski's latest blog. I always get a giggle out of her writing, along with the helpful eco tips and her up to date point of view. She's really got a good 'raz going on against our ghastly consumption driven culture. The commentor, who said she/he is out of cash and therefore green by default is also into the same witty spirit. And I hope Olivia's mother enjoys getting a Llama for Christmas ---- given to another family in need in a place where Llamas are an important force. Good idea. Only, I hope her mother prefers llamas to goats and pigs.

[Sanjgreen]

GreenDimes blogger here,

Thanks for mention. I recently stumbled upon saveasnowman.org where you can 'adopt' an orphan snowman whose family has 'melted.' Hilarious, money goes toward green projects.

Regarding picklelover's DMA comment, their opt-outs only a piece of the puzzle, and their annual dues range from $1,300-$75,000. For those dues, the DMA gives you tips and strategies of how to junk mail.

[nomoredead]

I told my family this year " No Presents" Put a little something in the Salvation Army kettle. Kiva.com is also great. volunteermatch.com is another.

[picklelover]

Why would Ms. Zaleski regret giving her father the nose hair trimmer?
Does she want him to have visible nose hair?
As for the Jesse Ventura action figure, I think that was her mother who recently sold it for $100 on Ebay.
As for the Archie McPhee yodeling pickle, I invented it in early 2007. I am puzzled how Ms. Zaleski was able to give one as a gift in 2005.
Does she have a time machine? Also, there is no
detachable lederhosen feature, although that is a neat idea.
Anyway, we really appreciate your award this year for the yodeling pickle. We are proud to be your favorite green gift.
PS: Regarding Green Dimes--why pay them $15 to get your name off mailing lists, when the Direct Marketing Association will do it for
$1 (which they need for name/address verification). The DMA is non-profit, Green Dimes is for profit corporation.

[twgbonehead]

I'm a huge fan of Heifer International, too.

BUT:

Give something you already own (and VALUE!!).

Make something out of stuff you already have.

Put SOMETHING, other than money, into your gift.

[aigeanta]

I'm buying absolutely nothing for anybody for the holidays, not out of choice, but lack of funds. So I guess I'm Green by default!

[curiousasheck]

Everything falls apart or stops working in a month these days anyway. If not defective right out of the box.

Why worry?

[Manders81]

a llama for my mama?! THAT cracks me up!

[ParadiseDiva]

Glad to see the David Suzuki org listed. (I voted him my favorite Canadian in a national contest.)

My mother's side of the family has had a "recycled or homemade" gift rule for years, and I've managed to keep clear of new retail stores completely for the past 3.

This year, a family friend and an acquaintance, each for the 1st time, donated in our name in place of the expected material gift.

Here's hoping it continues to catch on !