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Oren Mendez
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Oren Mendez is a comedy writer, originally from Israel. Graduate of the Tel Aviv University screenwriting dept. His writing has appeared in CollegeHumor, Hello Giggles and various Israeli online magazines. Recently, he won the 2013 “Starting Point” grant for Israeli theater playwrights and was a semi-finalist on Scriptapalooza's TV competition.

See his other work at:
http://orenmendez.tumblr.com

or follow him on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/orenmendez

Entries by Oren Mendez

How to Be 'That Guy' at Your Office

(1) Comments | Posted July 7, 2014 | 2:16 PM

1. Sign up to joke email lists and forward all of them to everyone you work with. They'll love you, and will become dependent on you for laughs.

2. Buy a cork board from your own money and hang it in the break room. Put up a note with a...

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How to Go Mad With Power From Your Promotion to Shift Manager

(0) Comments | Posted June 23, 2014 | 6:24 PM

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Start off by making it clear that you're not like the other employees by creating a small difference between you and them. They have to wear a plastic hat, but you don't. Now, whenever they see you they'll know you're better than...
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Prisons Begin New 'Bored Straight' Program

(0) Comments | Posted June 13, 2014 | 2:05 PM

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Welcome youths.

I assume you've all heard of our prison's Scared Straight initiative, in which we took in troubled teens who were prone to violence and crimes and were likely to end up incarcerated, and showed them what prison could be like. By...

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Writing Your Term Paper in 12 Steps

(2) Comments | Posted April 10, 2014 | 3:40 PM

Sitting down and starting to write your term paper is hard. Which is why everything needs to be perfect. Once you get yourself in the "writing zone," the paper will practically write itself. In order to get started there are a few important steps you have to take.

Step 1:...

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5 Hotel Room Paranoias We All Have

(0) Comments | Posted April 3, 2014 | 5:23 PM

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The Paranoia: While I'm away, the cleaning lady has access to everything. For all I know, she's going through my suitcase, wearing all my clothes and doing impressions of me in front of the mirror. She's looking in the bathroom for embarrassing medicines...

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A Grandpa's Guide to Internet Fame

(0) Comments | Posted March 14, 2014 | 5:04 PM

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Many people ask me how, at age 78, I managed to accumulate such internet popularity. The web is a young people's game, they say. But I beg to differ. When you're my age, becoming a viral sensation is easier than putting on your...

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How to Survive Until The Next Award Season

(0) Comments | Posted March 3, 2014 | 4:10 PM

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1. Complain about the ceremonies
This is the time to talk about how much you weren't happy with the choice of winners. How your favorite director got snubbed, how your preferred TV show lost to a one you hate, how you think...

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How to Arrange Your iPhone Home Screen in 15 Steps

(0) Comments | Posted February 26, 2014 | 3:30 AM

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Once again you find yourself with 7 pages of apps, unable to find anything in the colorful mess of logos and icons. It's time to rearrange your iPhone, for easily accessible applications. This is a short guide of how to do so:

Step...

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15 More Things 'Seinfeld' Can Reunite For

(0) Comments | Posted February 2, 2014 | 11:12 AM

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1. The first sketch for Jimmy Fallon's The Tonight Show, coming back to New York

2. Vegan campaign ad - "Forget Steaks, Have A Big Salad"

3. Commercial for the Uncle Leo Memorial Retirement Home

4. An intervention for Michael Richards

5....

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Click Bait Job Interview

(0) Comments | Posted February 1, 2014 | 4:05 AM

Thank you so much for considering me for this job. I'm going to tell the 10 best reasons to hire me without getting out of your chair. To be honest, I'm perfect for this job. I have experience, I'm loyal and I'm going to work harder than anyone else. I...

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Justin Bieber Wrote an Entire Album in Prison

(0) Comments | Posted January 26, 2014 | 2:32 PM

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Tracklist:

1. Bendin' Over (Pick Up The Soap)

2. Fell In Love With A White Supremacist

3. DUI Love You

4. When I Grow Up (I Wanna Be OJ)

5. Just Hold On, I'm Coming Home feat. Drake

6. A Boy Kissed Me,...

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Trying to Get Your Job Back After a Walter Mitty Style Adventure

(0) Comments | Posted January 15, 2014 | 1:43 PM

Hi, Mr. Cooper. It's Martin. I'm actually glad you didn't pick up, it'll be much easier to just say this over your answering machine.

As you probably noticed, I haven't shown up for work at all this week. I know it must have caused some problems, especially since this was...

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Your DVR's Suicide Note

(0) Comments | Posted January 13, 2014 | 10:37 AM

Dear owner,

By the time you read this, I will already be gone.

I'm sorry you had to find me like this, lying in your full bathtub, electrocuted. My wires probably tangled in each other, my circuits burned to a crisp. But believe me, this is much better than...

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15 Reasons to Stay Home on New Year's Eve

(0) Comments | Posted December 31, 2013 | 4:59 PM

1. If you go outside, you're 99 percent more likely to break that "drink less" New Year's resolution you made.

2. Come midnight, you're going to feel so pressured to kiss that you'll settle for anyone, and probably end up with herpes.

3. If you want to see a ball...

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5 Alternative Versions of Santa

(0) Comments | Posted December 17, 2013 | 2:59 PM

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Tired of boring, old, predictable Kris Kringle? Well, this year you can pick a more current version of Santa to better suit your holiday needs:

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This skinny-jeans-wearing Santa can be easily lured by Instagram pictures of...

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Mean Elves: When The Hobbit Meets Mean Girls

(0) Comments | Posted November 27, 2013 | 3:46 PM

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is hitting theaters in December, and what's a better way to welcome it than mashing it up with one of the most quotable movies of our time- Mean Girls. Check out the animated sketch, from Leigh Lahav after the break.

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I Wrote Jimmy Fallon's First Tonight Show Sketch

(0) Comments | Posted November 13, 2013 | 11:41 AM

Writing for a late night show, and particularly The Tonight Show, is every comedy writer's dream job. I don't have that job, sadly. But I still tried writing Jimmy Fallon's first sketch for his upcoming, very deserving, gig as the new host. Who knows, maybe he'll end up reading it...

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Government Shutdown After Party

(2) Comments | Posted October 22, 2013 | 2:30 PM

Now that the shutdown is officially over, you are cordially invited to attend the best government-funded party of the year.


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(illustrated by: Tom Trager)

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7 Ways to Cheat God

(0) Comments | Posted October 17, 2013 | 3:55 PM

God is everywhere. He is all seeing and all knowing. He can see your browser history, too. So unless you're an atheist, there's no real way to hide. But there are a few ways you can cheat.

1. Fast on Yom Kippur
If you're Jewish, cheating god is pretty...

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Directing the Next VMA Winner

(0) Comments | Posted October 7, 2013 | 6:32 PM

Director: Oh, Mr. Teen idol, I'm so glad you're here. I have a wonderful vision for your next video.

Singer: Great. What did you have in mind?

Director: Picture this: You're standing in front of a leopard print background, wearing a gold track suit under a gold coat. Your face...

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