Dear Future Self,
I'm writing to you from 2014. It's a grim world out there. A Mad Men-less, Breaking Bad-less, Dexter-less world. Life just doesn't seem worth living anymore.
But we get by. I remember the feeling that you're feeling right now. The feeling that makes you go out and buy two pints of Dublin Mudslide. I won't say it gets better. In fact, for the next few months, it's only going to get worse.
Dexter is the first one to go. I can tell you that you're going to take it pretty well. I mean, come on, Dexter has run its course. You're not gonna miss it terribly. The finale will not be something to dwell over for too long. So that week is going to be just fine for you. You're gonna wake up one night with terror sweats, reminiscing about the Trinity killer, but that's pretty much it. You won't cry over Tom Hanks' son, that's for sure.
The next Sunday is gonna sting. Breaking Bad is ending, and there won't be anywhere to hide -- the Internet is going to blow up. You're going to freak out a little, but it's good to have millions of online presences by your side, suffering right there with you. I also want to warn you about your stupid decision to try and postponed the inevitable. DON'T! You're going to watch it a day late, and the Internet is going to totally spoil a great part of the episode. It's not the actual ending, but it is a pretty surprising scene involving Jesse and a 2x4. Oh, oops. Sorry about that.
So, the ending will leave you a little distressed. You're gonna go through some withdrawal. I'm a little sorry I didn't mail you this earlier, to try and catch you before you finished Orange is the New Black. Maybe that could have been the binge you needed to get through this. But it's too late, you already gulped it up in a week. So, right now you're living on hope for the next, and last, Mad Men. It's going to be a few months still, but the wait will be worth it. It was a hell of a season. I won't say anything about the ending, because Matthew Weiner hired some people to check every letter sent to the past with the keywords "Mad Men", "Draper" and "The East River". I won't tell you why that last one is in there. But I can tell you it was a good finale'. You're gonna talk about it for weeks, and it will take your mind off the harsh future that awaits.
Only after about a month, you'll suddenly realize all these shows are really gone. You didn't even notice, and now you're me. You're gonna want to write yourself a letter, saying it's not that bad and you were worried about nothing. But writing about it is only going to remind you of what you're missing, so you're gonna end up feeling sad again. But there's another letter coming from 2016 which is really well-written and will make you feel a whole lot better. 2016 you is really cool. And he's re-watching all these seasons again, finding some mind-blowing foreshadowing.
So, hang in there. Enjoy this great year that's coming towards you. Cherish it. And know that 2014 is also pretty great -- there are some fun new shows, Parks and Rec is doing just fine without Rashida Jones, and you're going to be awfully surprised about that new Michael J. Fox show.
Oh, and one last thing -- Unfriend Julie on Facebook. She's going to start watching these shows for the first time this year, and will post things like, "Oh my god, you guys, that guy from Malcolm in the Middle is so great in this" that will annoy the hell out of you.