Huffpost Comedy
The Blog

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Orlando Jones Headshot

21 Things You'll Never See Black People Doing in Horror Movies

Posted: Updated:

1. Vacation at Chernobyl. WTF is "Extreme Tourism"? If we need to book a trip we go here.
2. Adopt a kid who turns out to be the devil.
3. Pay for tickets to a Hockey Game.
4. Get stranded hiking up Mt. Fuji.
5. Get attacked by a wolverine in its natural habitat.
6. Get mauled by a pet tiger.
7. Explore the inside of an active volcano.
8. Get cursed out by their creepy kid in Whole Foods.
9. Kill a family member over a trust fund.
10. Investigate.
11. Scuba dive in order to see a great white shark.
12. Eat grilled chicken.
13. Scream, "Go ahead without me. Save yourself!"
14. Stay in a house with bleeding walls and creaky floors.
15. Split up to look for somebody. If you got separated from the group you deserve to die.
16. Get blood on the Rent-a-Center sofa.
17. Hang out in a house with no flat screen TV.
18. Drop the car keys when the killer is chasing you.
19. Die second. We always die first. Except me in the film Primeval where I refuse to go out like that. SPOILER ALERT -- I die -- just not first.
20. Go into a house again after we find out it's haunted.
21. Wait for the slow poke. If you can't run you got a problem. We ARE NOT coming back for you.

Did I forget any? Find me on Facebook or Twitter and let me know.