Last night, I woke up at 3 a.m., and lately this has been happening with great frequency. I love the wee hours of the night. My heart feels different. It's where the fog is lifted and I am in a state of clarity. All confusion melts away. This is the time (it is generally said around 4 a.m.), that the sages suggested to wake up and sit and meditate.
For me, this time isn't just an experience of clarity. I've also experienced feeling lost and as if my heart is about to break. It is a very intense experience.
Usually when the heart feels pain and suffering we have a tendency go to our cell phones, computers, televisions. We will do practically anything but "sit with" or simply "be with" the pain. But for me, there has been no where and way to run. I needed to sit with the feelings and there were no thoughts to occupy my mind except the actual feelings that were arising. So I surrendered to what was there and prayed. I stayed with the feelings long enough that the pain turned and awakened my heart open and more clarity poured into my heart. It's like I was awakened to the truth of my heart. This is now my favorite time of morning, and I know that I have no idea when being awakened like this is going to happen again. My yoga teacher refers to it as "Shakti awakening you in the middle of the night."
I spend many days in meditation for this purpose: to quiet the mind enough so that I can have the deepest access to my heart's language. We tend to make ourselves so busy doing everything we can possibly do to avoid a broken heart. But the breaking open is when the heart begins to speak to us most deeply. At that time of the night, there is something magical happening. A deep transmission.
Yogi Bhajan recommended waking up at Vatta time, from 3 a.m. -- 5 a.m. (anytime before 6 a.m.). He recommended that you shower and rinse with cold water for a few seconds to wake up, then sit on your bed or in your sacred space, your meditation space (if you have one).
I find Snatam Kaur Ong Namo opens my heart and allows me to be softer to receive whatever may be there to receive. Sometimes, I even find that chanting with the music releases pain inside my heart. Then I do a few stretches and pranayama. I do three to 11 minutes of breath of fire, also called Kapalabati (you can see my instructions for this in my video on osiliving.com or osiyoga.com), and then I sit and I see what arises. Most importantly, I stay in and with the feelings, rather than in the thoughts.
If you feel pain and heaviness in the heart, know that the only way to the other side, is by going through it. Not by trying to control or manipulate what arises. But by feeling what comes up and staying with it.
I promise you that the more you practice this way, the more you will build trust in yourself and a relationship with the deepest language of your heart and relationship with your own soul.
"Your mind is your servant, your body is your vehicle and your soul is your residence." -- Yogi Bhajan
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