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Americans Okay With Alien Invasion After Watching "The Avengers"

Posted: 05/22/2012 12:27 pm

More than half of Americans said that they would be afraid of a race of extraterrestrials invading Planet Earth, according to a recent CNN poll. Following the release of blockbuster action movie, The Avengers, however, that statistic has been inverted, with almost 60 percent of Americans hoping for a full-scale war with a hostile alien race.

"Can you imagine seeing that shit in person?" said Aaron Barone, a sophomore at Arizona State University. "Bad-ASS."

In the film, Loki, a Norse god hellbent on subjugating the people of Earth, enlists the Chitauri, an alien race with their own ambitions of conquest.

"Look, I'm not saying I'd like humanity to be annihilated or enslaved," said Kevin Drummond, a 37-year-old corporate attorney. "I'm just saying that if it's going to get me out of work for a few days, I'll take that risk."

Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney points to the potential benefits of a planetary invasion.

"Historically, war has been very effective at stimulating the economy," said the former governor. "Now, in the age of the global economy, it would only make sense to have a global conflict."

More than three quarters of Americans would prefer to be invaded by the Chitauri than Mexicans.

"At least the Chitauri aren't trying to take our jobs," said Romney.

NOTE: This piece is satirical. All quotations are fabrications for the purpose of satire.

Originally featured on The Daily Pygmy.

 

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