Characterized by anemic growth, the U.S. economy showed signs of hope today when a band of YouTube users outlined a plan for a full economic recovery. Leaving comments in a video in which a baby laughs maniacally at the sound of paper ripping, these anonymous YouTube-goers managed to uphold fiscal responsibility without compromising critical social programs -- a feat that has evaded Republican and Democratic politicians for years.
"It's all about having the motivation," said spazman7758. "Sitting there in our underwear while scarfing down PB&Js and strawberry Pop Tarts, we watched that cute little baby laugh maniacally, and we all knew that we had to protect its future."
The viral video junkies were able to eliminate the glut in the Defense Department and cut through the Byzantine red tape of several inefficient government agencies while reining in corporate greed by applying sensible regulations that would not hinder the capitalist system. None of the commenters involved have any political or accounting experience; in fact, the majority of them are time-wasters of a colorful variety.
"It's like this baby's uncontrollable laughter -- a sort of guffawing that was kind of unsettling to see come out of a gummy smile to be honest -- represents a carefree time in American history," said gagafan3007. "We want to bring back those bygone days ... for the sake of that crazy baby."
In related news, poverty in Africa was solved on Glee's Facebook fan page.
Originally featured in The Daily Pygmy.
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