THE BLOG

5 Great Reasons to Have a Love Affair... With Yourself

06/29/2015 04:34 pm ET | Updated Jun 29, 2016

Remember what it was like falling in love for the first time? Everything felt magical, easy and oh-so-happy! It was like floating on a cloud of pure joy. Sadly however, the feeling doesn't always last as long as you would like it to. But this is not necessarily bad. A new sense of comfortability within your relationship takes place instead -- and this can feel and be good. But if you and your partner aren't careful, that comfortability could give way to complacency. And that, in turn, can lead you to even worse feelings such as disappointment, resentment and bitterness. Definitely not what you -- and many others -- want in a relationship.

Most everyone wants that happy feeling to last in a relationship. Many couples will work hard at creating romance, time away alone together, date nights and the like. Yet they often find that the happy feeling is just too fleeting as once the moment is gone, the relationship becomes mundane, routine and yes, boring. Partners can stray at this point, thinking that maybe they just aren't loved anymore by their partner and there is someone else out there who will love them with same (or more) passion and excitement as their partner once used to. Not only is that dangerous territory for a variety of reasons, but it's likely not the remedy that will fulfill what they are seeking -- at least not long term anyway.

The hard truth is that you can't sustain that feeling of pure bliss with anyone outside of yourself, no matter how hard you try. But that doesn't mean all is lost in your relationship. Nor does it mean you'll never feel that way again. It is entirely possible for you to attain and sustain the happy, magical feeling all by yourself. How? By falling in love with YOU.

Think back to when you first fell in love. You loved everything about the other person! Even their faults were charming in some way. Their uniqueness stood out and you accepted them fully. You had no complaints or judgments about them. To you they were perfect and you genuinely loved them unconditionally. Those are the very things you must apply to yourself if you really want to feel good AND have fulfilling relationships.

Simply put when you love yourself unconditionally:

  • Others will follow and love you too (of course if they don't, then you won't really care now will you?)
  • You create a solid foundation from which to build other loving relationships
  • You disengage from any dependency or co-dependency with another
  • You are able to give to others with no strings attached
  • Your outlook on life becomes magical, joyful and abundant

So how would you go about falling in love with yourself? Begin by creating a five-minute daily routine in front of the mirror. As you look at yourself, focus in on your eyes. Look directly into them. Endeavor to connect with your soul as you are doing this. It doesn't matter if you know what, who or where your soul is -- just know that you have one. Allow yourself some time to experience yourself through your eyes -- without judgment or criticism. If any negative thoughts come into your mind about yourself, change them to more loving and positive ones. It may be a good idea to have a few positive affirmations on hand to help you with this. When you feel better, you can move about your day happier. Practice this daily and soon enough, you'll notice the wonderful essence of you wash over your body and mind. You'll begin to feel so good that you can't help but spread this love everywhere and especially within your relationships.

About the author: Pamela Dussault is an intuitive counselor and transformational facilitator who works with individuals and groups to improve their relationships and health at www.PassageToInnerJoy.com. She is also the founder of the board certified and accredited REAP Healing Method who trains private individuals and practitioners in this method at www.ReapHealing.com.