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Pamela Madsen
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A pioneer in fertility advocacy, Pamela Madsen is the Founder and first Executive Director of The American Fertility Association. She is a fearless advocate for women’s health and integrated sexuality who leverages her raw honesty and well-informed wit to help strip the stigma from infertility, female desire and body image. A well known sexuality coach specializing in the needs of women, her retreats: Back to the Body: Sensuous Retreats For Women have been sell outs.

Pamela is a veteran speaker, educator, and renowned blogger for Psychology Today, Better After 50 and Care2. She is the author of Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Still Got Home In Time To Cook Dinner (Rodale, January 2011). Please include the link to the book on Amazon.

Pamela has appeared on 60 Minutes, Oprah, CNN, AARP Primetime Radio, The Dr. Laura Berman Show, The Jane Pratt Show, and Playboy Radio.

Entries by Pamela Madsen

Planning My Next Adventure As A Sexually Seasoned Woman Over 50

(15) Comments | Posted February 2, 2016 | 5:40 AM

"Modern Love" of the "New York Times" just released their favorites over the years and that inspired me to think about my own "Modern Love". I think that love and relationships both shift sometime after 50. I know that mine have.

Sex, romance, and the possibility of an enduring...

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Getting Inked After 50

(5) Comments | Posted January 29, 2016 | 5:22 AM

My 20-something-year-old kids have ink. Chefs have lots of ink. There are entire television shows dedicated to tattoos now. Somehow, getting a tattoo missed my generation, but it seems that everyone else around the boomers have them. I admire them on shoulders, arms, chests, backs and even fingers. They come...

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All Vaginas Are Welcome; Creating a Healing Space For Female Identified Persons

(0) Comments | Posted January 27, 2016 | 4:35 PM

This is a blog about vaginas. Or it's about more than vaginas. It's about gender, sexual orientation and creating a safe healing space for all people who identify as female or questioning to come and heal their relationship with their bodies, sexuality and gender. And it's a super huge task.

...
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Your Vagina Will Not Turn To Stone

(60) Comments | Posted January 12, 2016 | 11:42 AM

I just read an incredibly painful article on "Vagina Atrophy" in Elephant Journal that I'm shocked that Elephant Journal published without a counter point. If I read this article without knowing what I know as a sex educator that specializes in working with women, I would...

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Understanding The 'Invitation Relationship Loop'

(0) Comments | Posted January 8, 2016 | 5:51 AM

One of my sexuality teachers, Dr. Joseph Kramer, always said this: "It's all in the invitation".

When it comes to all aspects of the relationship dynamic, it's all about this: How do we invite people into our lives? How do we invite people into our beds? How do we invite...

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The Pleasure In Withholding Orgasm

(20) Comments | Posted January 5, 2016 | 5:14 AM

Warning: This post contains content that may be graphic for some readers.

The best orgasms I have ever had, I have had to wait for. The technical term for this is called "Edging." Edging is when you bring a person to the edge of climax and then...

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Here's What To Do If You Have 'Pleasure Anxiety'

(0) Comments | Posted January 4, 2016 | 6:55 AM

Most people understand that too much anxiety makes it impossible to have pleasure. But what most people don't realize is that -- for some people -- having pleasure in their lives can cause anxiety. Jack Morin, author of the book "The Erotic Mind," puts it this way:

"It should...

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Quitting As A New Year's Resolution

(2) Comments | Posted December 31, 2015 | 6:48 AM

This New Year's, my resolution is to quit things that are not working for me in my life. I know it doesn't sound very daring to make your New Year's Resolution about quitting things. It doesn't sound very uplifting or positive either. But I'm loving the sound of 'I quit'...

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Are You Flunking The Self-Love Challenge?

(0) Comments | Posted December 29, 2015 | 7:47 AM

Does it ever feel like "self love" is just one more job that you're not living up to? And does it ever feel as though you're somehow broken if you aren't deeply self loving?

Well, screw that. I don't always think I'm beautiful and perfect and do all the right...

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How Guilt Can Spice Up Your Sex Life

(1) Comments | Posted December 28, 2015 | 7:44 AM

What do "the naughtiness factor" and "guilt" have to do with exciting, hot sex?

It's hard to imagine guilt as an an aphrodisiac, but haven't you ever heard of the term "guilty pleasures?"

We are all brought up with social norms, and taught in various ways through our communities that...

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Great Lovers of Women Know This

(0) Comments | Posted December 27, 2015 | 6:36 AM

All women are different.

Our genitals are as unique as our faces or the shake of our hips when we walk. Our desires, fantasies, and roadblocks are as diverse as any road map. If you want to be a great lover of women, put these skills in your tool kit.

...
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Sexy Self-Pleasuring Tips For Those Who Are Out Of Practice

(0) Comments | Posted December 18, 2015 | 6:05 AM

I think that most women today own a sex toy and a vibrator of some kind. (Look in your dresser drawer under the dust bunnies. I promise you it's there!) Most women know that it's really okay to touch ourselves "down there" and that touching ourselves will not cause us...

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Give The Gift Of Orgasm This Holiday Season

(10) Comments | Posted December 15, 2015 | 5:47 AM

What gift do you really want? Is it really that new sweater or tie? If you're honest with yourself, would the answer be to feel sexual arousal again, or to have some kind of ramped up and new sexual experience? What if all you want for Christmas is an orgasm?...

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10 Erotic Resolutions for 2016

(2) Comments | Posted December 14, 2015 | 1:45 PM

There is nothing more boring than people complaining about sexual boredom. That is so ordinary, lack luster and quite frankly rather lazy. When we decide to actively nurture our sexuality, we are taking a stand for living a vibrant and pleasure filled life. Re-charging your sexuality takes big action and...

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12 Crazy Nights: Your Holiday Sex Survival Guide

(2) Comments | Posted December 12, 2015 | 1:59 AM

Sex can get lost in the first Black Friday of the holiday season. The holidays can become all about this stressful rush to get to grandma's house and buy those grab bag gifts for the office. You get the idea. The holidays, which are meant to be about connection, can...

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10 Rules That Badass Babes Live By

(1) Comments | Posted December 8, 2015 | 7:23 AM

Rule #1

You Don't Have to Know the Road Map

Frankly, I can't read maps. Perhaps that's a good thing. I'm living proof that you don't have to be ready or know where you're going to change your life. No one starts their journey into their Badass Babe knowing all...

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Sex, Death, Love And Intimacy

(0) Comments | Posted December 4, 2015 | 6:31 AM

Why do so many of us not trust love and intimacy? Why do we fear death so much? Why do so many willingly hook up and have sex with people that they will never see again, but find it terrifying and dangerous to love and be truly intimate with another...

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I'm NOT Madonna: Fat And Over 50 -- And Sexy

(11) Comments | Posted December 1, 2015 | 6:23 AM

Madonna gets ageist sex shaming for being an over-50 turned-on sexy woman and George Clooney gets to be the sexiest man alive over 50.

I call "Foul Ball" and "Screw That."

I get to be called "Courageous" for going public with a "Boudoir" photo shoot showing me in my body...

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Hot To Turn Lukewarm Sex Into Red-Hot Sex

(3) Comments | Posted November 23, 2015 | 7:04 PM

We all dream of finding that perfect someone to live happily ever after with. And many of us do find that someone. Everything feels right from how you fit together holding hands to how you make love. There is the excitement of the engagement, planning a wedding, honeymoon and finding...

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Sex Is Not Static

(0) Comments | Posted November 19, 2015 | 6:17 AM

Sex is as impermanent as life. There is what came before, an understanding about sexuality, our relationships, and our history with sex. But ultimately and in the best sense, sex is constantly changing. Every single day we can create and consume our sexuality in so many various ways that can...

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