If it was easy to keep people erotically charged by each other after they enter a long-term relationship, sex experts would be out of business. The fact is, that after the first few years of marriage or any relationship arrangement where people spend a lot of time together, interest can wane. Don't delude yourself into thinking that somehow your relationship will be different -- or should be. This simply happens.
Our attention may wander after we "catch" what we want and all of our baseline needs are met. We all have a tendency to fall into complacency, monotony and boredom. This does not mean that you are no longer in love, or that you should break up. It just means that it's time to shake out the cobwebs.
As a sex and relationship educator, I hear from many women in the heterosexual world who feel like their man is bored with them. They watch their man turn to the television or Facebook rather than them. Somehow, every shiny object is more interesting then spending intimate or erotic time together.
So, what's a woman to do outside of shutting down herself? I think it's possible to seduce your man out of complacency. I have coached hundreds of women on the art of waking up their prince.
1. Give Him Space
If you want attention, give him space! Don't ask him how his day was the minute he walks in the door. Let him have some time for himself. I'm not suggesting that you ignore him, but what about popping a beer or his favorite beverage into his hand and letting him know that you love him and that he should take a little time to himself to unwind? Allow for separate time on the weekends. Suggest that he go out with friends or on a bike ride or whatever. Desire opens in space.
2. Create His Fantasy
Do you know what his fantasy is? If he hasn't told you, get it out of him. Yes, it could involve something sketchy like another woman, sex outside in the woods, or you giving him a spanking. What if you planned it, and did it? Be the sexy librarian, the slave girl or the mistress. Surprise him, and whisper in his ear at a public function that you are not wearing any panties under your dress. Figure out a way to deliver that fantasy as a gift to your man. This does not have to be YOUR fantasy, but something that you are willing to do for him out of the pleasure of giving.
3. Give Mim A Full Body Erotic Massage
Buy a massage table. You need a new place to have sex, and offer touch in your house. Take it out of the bed and create a new place for seduction and touch. Massage tables can be purchased for around a $100 on Amazon and delivered to your home. Surprise him. Send him a text about the sexy evening that is waiting for him. Leave a trail of rose petals and sexy notes. Have the table set up with a beautiful cloth over it and candles. Have some relaxing music playing and take the time to look beautiful.
Sex is important, but so is setting the mood and creating something different. Take charge and undress him slowly with kisses as you ease him onto the massage table. Telling him that you are going to spoil his body with warm oil and your touch. Then give him a long, slow and deep massage.
Allow your own body to melt into his as he moans with the pleasure of your touch. After your have massaged all of his muscles, move to the erotic and tease him like crazy. Then climb on board and make love to your man like you are never going to see him again.
4. Dress For Success
Don't groan, but exploit your sex appeal. Sex is not politically correct. Deal with it. Men often react to visual stimulation. What are you doing to keep yourself sexy? And I am not talking about your weight or telling you to go on a diet. Curvy women are hot. What I am suggesting is that you don't walk around in a dirty t-shirt all day. Men are visual animals. Use that to your own advantage. Dress for attention.
5. Encourage Your Man
Everyone wants to feel respected and so does your man. How are you boosting his confidence and supporting him in his life? Everyone needs actions and words. How can you show him that you value him? When was the last time you lavished him with praise? Cooked his favorite meal? Told him that you loved him? Like women, men need validation and support. He needs to know that you have faith in him and know that he is trying even when he screws up. Encouragement and helping your man feel good about himself is seduction.
6. Use Your Own Money
Reach for the bill and buy him dinner. Plan a vacation and pay for it. Book a sexy retreat that is all about your relationship. Buy him a very personal gift that you know he really wants. It could be a sex toy that he has been talking about or that special bottle of wine. It doesn't matter as long as it is something that you know that he wants, and hasn't spent the money on it. Give this some deep thought. Don't do the obvious like a tie unless of course you know that is what he truly wants!
7. Give Him Public Praise
A man who is feeling loved and seen is sexier! Praise and brag about him in front of friends, kids, and family. If you live on social media, use it to sing your love for him and his accomplishments. Tell the world where he can hear it one thing you admire about him. He will love it.
8. Touch Him
What about walking by him and patting his ass? Or what about running your hands through his hair while you both are watching television?
9. Create Rituals
Bring him his coffee in the morning. Listen for the shower to be turned off and greet him with a towel and slowly dry him. Lay out his clothes.
10. Let Him Take Charge
So many women run the show all the time while wanting their man to take charge. So how do you seduce him into his own power? Hand him the menu and let him pick the dinner for the both of you when you go out. Let him be in charge of the pleasure on your plate. Let him pick the movie. Or choose what you will wear for the day. Allowing him to take control can be a seduction.
The art of seduction is takes effort. Use your words, your actions, and your body. Seduction takes planning and it can be so sexy to be the seductress! Turn yourself on, while turning him on. It's possible.