25 Reasons Life Sucks When You're Middle-Aged

Of course young people are happy: They have great bodies, they have lots of sex with other people with great bodies, and -- well, do you really need any other reason?

And old people are happy too, because they raked in lots of money during the boom years and now they can live high on their investments while simultaneously bleeding Social Security dry.

The unhappiest group, according to a new Gallup poll, is 45 to 64-year-olds.

Why are the middle years so glum? The New York Times asked its readers, who came up with no shortage of theories. Here, my digest of the Times readers' 25 top reasons that life sucks for the middle-aged:

1. No time to recover financially from current disaster.

2. Baby Boomers are generally dissatisfied.

3. Pissed off that you won't be as pampered as current seniors are.

4. Older boomers are greeedy job hogs, leaving younger boomers out in the cold.

5. Too busy, plus sad about being anonymous paper-pusher.

6. Responsible for your own well-being as well as that of your kids and parents.

7. Persistent attacks on Social Security.

8. Realize everything you ever believed in is a lie.

9. Not enough healthy, short-term selfishness.

10. You've lost your job and you're too old and expensive to get rehired.

11. Teenage daughters, dying parents, divorcing friends, health problems.

12. Friends domesticated into non-existence.

13. Guilt.

(Are you ready to kill yourself yet?)

14. The high cost of braces and college.

15. Hot young people call you sir (and m'am).

16. Job security undercut by ageism and sexism.

17. Can't get a freaking date.

18. Realize you will never attain your dreams.

19. Sagging middles and bottoms.

20. Colonoscopies.

21. Realize that reaching material goals doesn't satisfy deeper needs.

22. Tend to be Mets fans.

23. Resented by younger colleagues.

24. Not as glamorous as you'd like to be.

25. Not only is everything bad now, but it will be worse tomorrow.

Follow Pamela Redmond Satran on Twitter: www.twitter.com/prsatran

Comments

[citipearl]

You've got to laugh ...so you don't cry!!!

[SShaw490]

Because your middle years (I'm 54) are the years when your passion for living just seems to disappear. It's not something external, like a job or family issue - it's a time when it becomes harder to remember how much you loved doing things when you were young. It's God's way (or Nature's way for those who prefer it) of preparing you for the fact that you're not always going to be alive; it's easier to leave life behind when you can't quite remember how great it was. And maybe it'll be that much better when we find how great the next life is.

[Lorraine Roe - Huffpost Blogger]

Ha! I especially like the part about hot young men calling you mam!

[Halsey]

I "think" there is a certain melancholy to boomers because we blew it.(as Peter Fonda aka Captain America said near the end of Easy Rider)....the love children who became wall street biggies or k street lobbyists...JFK, MLK, and Robert Kennedy..all assassinated in our formative years...also helping to kill the utopian dream...

The "happy" comments above..seem pretty much self-consu­med...have a 25 year old love...photograph rodeos (which are very very cruel to the animals involved....no if's and's or but's about it....)....about ME ME ME...(meaning YOU YOU YOU)

I've gone through a very strange rough patch since turning 49...stuff you can't make up...I'm not happy..nor content...but AM determined to USE that discontent to continue my search...continue walking the path toward the "why"...and if I'd get OFF my skinny butt..to be of MORE service to others...I still have hope..not for $$ anymore..that ship sailed...but for enlightenment.

[MsCuda]

When I was 18 I did something I'd wanted to do for a long time, after listening to "If you're going to San Francisco" one too many times--I hitch-hiked to California and ended up on the Haight. It was a dismal, drug infested (I wasn't a "druggie"), sad place to be. (Summer of 1967 or so.)

Not all the hippies went to Wall Street--many went to hell, buried under the weight of their own disillusion. Others eventually did turn into the parents they were drying to disassociate from to begin with. Others kept the faith of their core beliefs and have later turned into the community conscious organizers of today, but I really don't think those people were the typical love children to begin with.

[MsCuda]

8 reasons why I'm happy about being older (in no particular order):

1) Mistaken at the box office for a 40 year old when I asked about a senior rate. Girl turned to her friend in shock that I was (then) 59. Asked for my ID. I've not been ID'ed since I was in my 20's. Still didn't get the senior rate but didn't care by that time. Made my day.
2) I feel healthier, am trimmer, am better educated now than I was when I was 40.
3) I've grown accustomed to my face.
4) I Realized what my needs were before I was 90.
5) Finally realized that aging doesn't mean incapacitated. I get to still do risky things, make a fool of myself, wear jeans and a tee.
6) Realized I could put the rocking chair away for when I REALLY grow old.
7) I finally realized I didn't have to grow old gracefully. I wasn't an elegant woman at 25--why should I start now?
8) When I turned 50 or so, I discovered I liked making life changes. So every once in a while I re-invent myself. Try THAT when you're 30!

[PatA]

You are only as happy as you want to be .........get over it! I am 66 and still photographing rodeo and working on a book and seeing my lively grandchildren as often as possible and working part-time at the library and reading 5-6 books a week.

And I'm not rich.....

[RobinSeattle]

My main problem with life is that you have to spend a full third of it asleep when life itself is so short that I would need three lifetimes to do everything I would like to.

But other than that little whine, I'm pretty damned happy and I'm in my 50's.

[predmond]

Yeah, guys, it was supposed to be funny, but I was just recounting how the Times readers explained the lower level of midlife happiness. DownerCow: Hilarious additions. TAIsabel: Did you say gorgeous 25-year-old lover? I'm sorry, but I don't think you're qualified to comment on this topic.

[Angelaaaa]

The Good Things:
1. Your husband is well-trained enough to reassure you that your bottom DOESN'T look big in that, without prompting.
2. You are well-trained enough not to notice his bald spot anymore. Anyway, there is too much to talk about.
3. Your teenager says, You know Mum, I don't always appreciate everything you do for me. I love you SO much! You are old enough to cherish the feel of her youthful cheek without resentment.
4. You can both tell your in-laws that if they don't like it, they can lump it. You've just decided that you can be too old to change too - when it suits you.
5. Horrible old exercise gear is fine for the gym - you aren't there to impress anyone, just have a good time.
6. People who don't like your dogs can leave and not come back - you have enough friends who like all members of your family.
7. Seasonal changes in your garden become fascinating and precious observations to share with friends. You love their gardens too, and are happy to wander with a glass of wine, gently touching petals.

[TAIsabel]

Well, I guess the list could be endless but, I have to tell you that I am a 55 year old female who still hikes, kayaks, wears a size one, wears a bikini, has a straight up Chivas Regal (chilled in a martini glass), listens to blues, can "hang" in Union Square and has the most gorgeous and marvelous 25 year old lover. I have NEVER had any work done (such as face lifts, tucks, lipo or any other freaky procedure) and live a very healthy Mediterranean lifestyle.

Age is truly in your mind and spirit. It depends on how you view life. I view it as a journey to be enjoyed and do not act like a 22 year old, just feel like one. I have NEVER lied about my age. Also, your priorities need to be an internal sense of peace and happiness with what life brings. Unrealistic goals only bring frustration. Money should be a means, not an end. But, most of all, you must have faith and an acceptance of your own end.

Enjoy the journey. It will make the difference between a life well lived and a mediocre existence.

[NoSillyName]

Lucky you don't have debilitating health problems and must try to live well below the poverty level.

A life that was once fun and exciting can change drastically for many reasons.

Best not to be too smug.

[SonofLiberty1]

You got that right!

[TAIsabel]

You prove the old saying that "assuming makes an ass out of you". You know nothing about me otherwise you would be VERY susprised.

Not only did I suffer two intra-craneal bleeds in April of 2009 (accompanied by two seizures and four days in ICU), the loss of a 6 month pregnancy of my first son in 1985, a severed ACL and MCL that required 2 years of surgeries and recoveries in 1995, the overnight loss of my country (and a confortable lifestyle) in 1961, many times of experiencing hunger, cold and no money, having to work my way through college (no loans, grants or rich parents) and being one of the first Latin young women at a Wall Street trading desk.

I could go on but, you are simply an ignorant and unhappy person. Too bad for you.

[robertny49]

I'm happy as a lark at 50. I keep in great shape, have a comfortable life and many fewer worries than when I was younger. I get plenty of addention from younger women even though I only date women closer to my age (but it is an ego buster to be sure).
Why doesn't someone write a post discussing the advantages to middle age instead of this negativity?

[TAIsabel]

Just did! I love my life at 55! Good for you too!

[SeriousBlack]

Well - I think it was meant to be humorous and tongue-in-cheek.

I think. (It WAS a pretty brutal recounting, eh?)

[mommadona]

Good grief.

Lemonade, Lemonade
Show me somethin' if you're not afraid...

Go climb a mountain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMkjEfS5LqA

Go walk out into a desert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYOsbEAexN8

Then, we'll talk

[stavros]

I know where number 23, "resented by younger colleagues" came from.

It really pisses them off when a much older individual kicks their ass in college.

[DownerCow]

26. Still attracted to 20-year-olds who look back at you like you're a pervert.
27. Can't have two beers without an all-day hangover.
28. Boring yourself when you tell the same old stories.
29. Too sedentary to generate any new stories.
30. You have become everything you hated about your parents.

[SeriousBlack]

LOL (really!)

[SeriousBlack]

31. It's really depressing when both knees, one shoulder and your lower back all hurt at the same time.