Urgent Memo to J.Lo: Rethink Those Baby Names!

Last week, John Edwards and Rudy Giuliani dropped out of the presidential race, the Fed once again cut interest rates, and Microsoft bought Yahoo.

But in even more burning news, the names of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony 's about-to-be-born twins were leaked: Max and Emme.

As the author of eight baby-naming books, even as an ordinary citizen, I'm shocked. C'mon J.Lo: After going through life as one of six Jennifers in every room, why would you want to give your daughter a name that's so close to Emily and Emma, the Number 1 and Number 2 names in the country?

And cute as Max may be, Christina Aguilera just used it, plus it's a name that hasn't been truly cool since the Reagan administration. As the father of a now-grownup Max told us, "These days if you want to name your kid Max, you've got to name him Gus." What's worse, he said that back in the eighties.

These days if you want to name your kid Max -- a down-to-earth regular-guy retro-cool name -- you've got to name him Walt. Or maybe Frank. Or, going in another direction, Roscoe.

If you're a movie or rock star, you've got to go even further than than that. Consider Apple and Suri, Shiloh and Harlow. Take Alimayu Moa-T (Wesley Snipes) and Zion Malachi Airamis (Dwayne Wade).

Please, J.Lo and M.Tony: Entertain us!

Celebrities' babies -- their clothes, their haircuts, but most of all their names -- have somehow become more interesting than the stars' sex lives or (zzzzzzzz) professional accomplishments. We depend on the stars to set the trends for our own baby names, with such recent high-profile choices as Maddox and Violet rocketing up the popularity charts. We don't want celebrities to choose names like Emme and Max that many of us ordinary folk have already moved beyond.

So Jennifer and Marc, even though you've already had the teensy gold bracelets engraved, it's not too late to rethink your choices. I'll send you the brand-new edition of Cool Names for free! You could go classic, in keeping with the Marc Anthony theme: Octavia and Rufus, for instance. Or exotic, celebrating your mutual roots: Engracia and Emilio, maybe. Music names like Cadenza and Tango could work, or maybe Spanish word names: Brío (energy) and Ventura (luck).

Call me! Baby names are forever, so making an inspired choice is vital to your children's future. Not to mention your own careers.

Pamela Redmond Satran is the coauthor with Linda Rosenkrantz of The Baby Name Bible and the brand-new Cool Names for Babies. Their website is www.nameberry.com.

Comments

[TRYKER]

Some children never forgive their parents for their names. A lady named Margaret Wilhelmenia thought her parents didn't love her because she never met another Margaret until she was grown. The hated middle name embarrassed her and she dropped it in favor of using her maiden name after she married.
She grew up with low self esteem and it seemed to shame her her whole life.

Nowadays it seems to be a contest among parents to use unusual spelling and names to "one up" the others. Very little consideration seems to be given to what the child will have to endure throughout its life.

Julia Roberts must have read your book though, because there will be few Phinniases and Hazels in their circles.

Experts are advising not to use the same first initial for all kids too, just to make it easier to deliniate which M. Jones is which in school's and doctor's records.

I have many friends with odd spelling of their names and it is a hassle to get them right all the time.
Employers often screen for ethnic sounding names in weeding out job competitors. So it would seem wise to consider the life of the child as opposed to the parent's own cleverness.

[fahrenheit451]

Ah, naming babies!!!

I found this on another blog. Enjoy and/or cringe:

http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.html

[strummerfan]

My given name is Kirsten. It's not overly unusual, granted. But I have never, ever been called anything but KJ ( Kirsten Jean) since childhood because I got sick of being called Christine, Kristin, Krista, Christian, and Kristy.
Then I turn around and name my first two daughters Gwendolyn and Aislinn.
We went with Emma for the youngest for two reasons- it's a family name, and nobody ever gets the middle ones name right. It's supposed to be " Ash-ling", the traditional Gaelic pronounciation. Everyone called her " Aizlynn", she has since become " Aizzy", and her teacher sometimes calls her Allison for no apparent reason.

[grailknight]

How about a literary name? Be cutting edge, Elphaba would certainly be avante garde naming your child after L. Frank Baum.

[MsLiz]

I am glad I did not consult your baby name books. The choice of a child's name should not be influenced by the fans. Give the child a name that won't be made (too much) fun of, and will sound good throughout life, perhaps with PhD. appended to it. Use the cool names for your pets.

[Mariel]

That's all so interesting--I mean this without irony. As a person who went through life meeting only two others of my name, Mariel, and hearing of a few others such as Mariel Hemingway, I am keenly sensitive to the plight of having the name which teachers and kids can't pronounce, can't remember, can't spell. I was Marilyn, Muriel, Marion, Mary, Marie, Mary Ellen. Mariel Hemingway was named after the place she was conceived, the port of Mariel in Cuba, where the "Mariel Criminals" embarked from.

I like your choice of Engracia and Emilio, celebrating the ethnic backgrounds. The female will have to become Gracie, however, to win the Mariel Nomination for Understandable Names.