Last week, John Edwards and Rudy Giuliani dropped out of the presidential race, the Fed once again cut interest rates, and Microsoft bought Yahoo.
But in even more burning news, the names of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony 's about-to-be-born twins were leaked: Max and Emme.
As the author of eight baby-naming books, even as an ordinary citizen, I'm shocked. C'mon J.Lo: After going through life as one of six Jennifers in every room, why would you want to give your daughter a name that's so close to Emily and Emma, the Number 1 and Number 2 names in the country?
And cute as Max may be, Christina Aguilera just used it, plus it's a name that hasn't been truly cool since the Reagan administration. As the father of a now-grownup Max told us, "These days if you want to name your kid Max, you've got to name him Gus." What's worse, he said that back in the eighties.
These days if you want to name your kid Max -- a down-to-earth regular-guy retro-cool name -- you've got to name him Walt. Or maybe Frank. Or, going in another direction, Roscoe.
If you're a movie or rock star, you've got to go even further than than that. Consider Apple and Suri, Shiloh and Harlow. Take Alimayu Moa-T (Wesley Snipes) and Zion Malachi Airamis (Dwayne Wade).
Please, J.Lo and M.Tony: Entertain us!
Celebrities' babies -- their clothes, their haircuts, but most of all their names -- have somehow become more interesting than the stars' sex lives or (zzzzzzzz) professional accomplishments. We depend on the stars to set the trends for our own baby names, with such recent high-profile choices as Maddox and Violet rocketing up the popularity charts. We don't want celebrities to choose names like Emme and Max that many of us ordinary folk have already moved beyond.
So Jennifer and Marc, even though you've already had the teensy gold bracelets engraved, it's not too late to rethink your choices. I'll send you the brand-new edition of Cool Names for free! You could go classic, in keeping with the Marc Anthony theme: Octavia and Rufus, for instance. Or exotic, celebrating your mutual roots: Engracia and Emilio, maybe. Music names like Cadenza and Tango could work, or maybe Spanish word names: Brío (energy) and Ventura (luck).
Call me! Baby names are forever, so making an inspired choice is vital to your children's future. Not to mention your own careers.
Pamela Redmond Satran is the coauthor with Linda Rosenkrantz of The Baby Name Bible and the brand-new Cool Names for Babies. Their website is www.nameberry.com.
Follow Pamela Redmond Satran on Twitter: www.twitter.com/nameberry