Why I Can Believe Madonna is Turning 50

Everyone is marveling that Madonna is turning 50. Can you believe it?, they say. Madonna, 50. It doesn't seem possible.

Oh yes it does. (Cue old-people-style reminiscence): When I first heard of Madonna, I was a fashion editor at Glamour. This was in the eighties, back when Reagan was president and shoulder pads were advised for balancing big hips. MTV was new and hot back then, just like Madonna. Just like me.

Anyway, somebody sent over a video of this sensational new singer, Madonna. I had a television and a VCR, both as large as steamer trunks, wheeled into my cubicle and cued up the tape. And there was this... popsy... dressed in tattered lingerie with mascara smeared around her eyes writhing on the floor and feeling herself up.

I was shocked, shocked I tell you, nearly as shocked as I am now thinking back to how innocent, how different everything was for women in that pre-Britney, pre-Paris era of straight-laced feministinity.

What I'm really saying: It was a long time ago. My kids, all grown up now, danced to "Like a Virgin" when they were toddlers in diapers. Baby Lourdes, who was far from Madonna's first act, is sprouting breasts.

Madonna's been famous almost as long as I've been an adult. Like many women, I love her and hate her, I admire her and I'm horrified by her. An anecdote I heard about Madonna "crying on the treadmill" has kept me pedalling on many a dark day. And yet she's also one major reason I will never wear a red string on my wrist.

Check out Madonna's website and groove, sistah, to that tune: "Why wait for someone else to do what you can do right now?" If you had trouble believe she was turning 50 on Saturday before now, you have to admit that's a lyric that could only have been written by a 50-year-old woman.

Pamela Redmond Satran writes How Not To Act Old.

Follow Pamela Redmond Satran on Twitter: www.twitter.com/prsatran

Comments

[KeithCraker]

Back when "Lucky Star" came out, I couldn't stand Madonna - no technique, lousy phrasing, limited vocal range, and it was painfully obvious she was playing up her looks to cover up her lack of talent. Less than decade later and I was eating my words - still doesn't have much of a range and the voice coach she hired for "Evita" could only help so much, but Madonna has consistently pushed what she and her music were capable of conveying - "Papa Don't Much" may have been annoying, but it did have a message, and while the video for "Open Your Heart" played on her sex symbol image, the song itself is a full, lushly orchestrated tune with with a clever refrain. Didn't hurt that after she hit it big with "Virgin" every label was putting out imitations like nobody's business, each one less talented than the one before, each one making Madonna look that much better. Once "Like a Prayer" hit, I was a solid fan, Pepsi fiasco and all.

Madonna has never rested on her laurels, and while some folks complain about her looks, a lot of people would give body parts to look half as good at half her age. Love her or hate her, you half to admit she's earned what she's got.

[Theda]

What is a "popsy?"
That sounds like something from the 1950's.
Is it the same as a "floozy?"

[Xochitl666]

The author of this post did not catch sight of Madonna until the the first MTV Video Music Awards in 1984? That's sounds "out-of touch" even by 80's standards. MTV had been on cable 4 years by then. It was hardly new. Madonna had already made her 2nd album (Like A Virgin) by then.

Madonna is what 50 looks like when you have lot's of money. You can't workout your face. She's an artificial presentation of a 50 year old woman; dyed hair, routine nip/tucks and probably something to supplement the estrogen loss that makes you look older even if she isn't menopausal yet.

[brooklyncitizen]

my...what sharp claws...lol

Madonna looks great from a commitment ot fitness...yoga weights etc.
Many women look great at 50 and diet such as being a vegetarian is a part of that.

[GiggidyGeshmoygen]

' And yet she's also one major reason I will never wear a red string on my wrist. '

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would it make a difference if i told you that The Dalai Lama also wears a red string on His wrist ?

[DrFelch]

I will never understand why people pay such fealty to the Dalai Lama. What a sanctimonious bore he is. He has a lot of good ideas, true, but he is still a religious huckster and a con man. He is no better than any other clown in a robe who asks for lots of money-for-nothing, IMHO. I'd rather listen to Al Franken talk than this guy. Any day of the week. Franken is smarter, better informed, and does not pose in a dress to make himself look "deep". Remember, the D.L. is just some guy who was chosen at birth and had his entire scene bestowed upon him for no good reason. He is really just another example of birthright-based entitlement, like GWB is. Look, I don't think the D.L. is a terrible person, but I just do not understand the fascination. What's the big deal?

[mamacat]

I have never understood why Madonna is so popular. A difference in taste, I guess.

Still, it seems to me that she has parlayed a little bit of talent into a lot of wealth.

[castlerider]

Jack Nicholson said 50 hits you like a ton of bricks, and he's not joking.

But it makes all the difference if you've had a bit of a disciplined lifestyle, at least some kind of work out routine, started hopefully when you're in your 30's... This way you can roll with the punches as you realize there's still a heck of a lot more you want to do with your life.

[ailbhe]

Congratulations to both of you for living so long.