This is my heartfelt attempt to unpack the knot of uncertainty and fear that can be so immobilizing when creating your wedding vision. What follows are a collection of questions, answers, and ideas from brides who I've had the pleasure of working with, learning from and befriending.
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2015-10-12-1444614808-722506-FromParriswithLove_ParrisWhittingham_Huffpo_BridechillaMarissa2.jpegPhoto: Parris Whittingham | fromparriswithlove.com

Last night, I was sitting by a crackling bonfire: Making s'mores with fancy chocolate, drinking wine with bubbles, and eagerly anticipating my friend's wedding. There was a Portland-esque couple playing guitar, singing songs I'd never heard, but enjoyed nonetheless. All of it felt familiar and calming.

My friend is a few years older than I am, and this will be her second marriage. We've never really talked about the first one; it seems like the woman who "lived that life" is long gone. Reflecting on her upcoming wedding, thoughts of the soon-to-be bride swirl. This is normal. I know the feeling professionally, but this time, it's more... personal.

I'm impressed with the sense of ease and calm she's practiced throughout the wedding planning process. For most I connect with (friends, family and wedding clients), wedding planning is fraught with anxiety and pressure. How does she make it look so easy?

Said another way, it's impossible not to notice that nearly everyone in the wedding business is stressed out: the couples, their families and YES, us professionals, too.

This is my heartfelt attempt to unpack the knot of uncertainty and fear that can be so immobilizing when creating your wedding vision. What follows are a collection of questions, answers, and ideas from brides who I've had the pleasure of working with, learning from and befriending. Their responses give me hope for a wedding industry that is more empowering, inclusive, and creative.

2015-10-12-1444615178-8064678-FromParriswithLove_ParrisWhittingham_Huffpo_BridechillaLindsay2.jpgPhoto: Parris Whittingham | fromparriswithlove.com

How did you get through your wedding with so much joy, ease, and calm? Was there an "a ha" moment that changed everything?

Lindsay Orr, Co Founder at Paperweight Films (Bride, 2011): If I ever got stressed during the planning process, my dad would say "are you going to be getting married to Dave?" (I'd say "yes"), "Well, then it's all good!" It really helped me keep it in perspective.

A wedding can come with a lot of details and potential stressors, but when it comes down to it, the reason is simple... you're committing yourself to your love in front of all your favorite people. So simple, so beautiful, and so joyful.

2015-10-12-1444615107-2336958-FromParriswithLove_ParrisWhittingham_Huffpo_BridechillaMarissa.jpgPhoto: Parris Whittingham | fromparriswithlove.com

Did you ever feel yourself losing the focus of the wedding or becoming a "bridezilla"? What did that look like and how did you bring it back?

Marissa Vosper, Co-Founder at Negative Underwear (Bride, 2014): Only a few times -- once during our ceremony walk-through -- the first time everyone was together at once and there were so many opinions and it felt so disorganized.

I planned our wedding mainly on my own (hence quick and efficient decision making), so having all these voices at once around this very important part of our wedding felt like too much -- I caught myself snapping, took a breath, told everyone we needed to focus and that I had to leave in 30 min to get back to work. Honestly my job is way more stressful than my wedding, so that helped keep me in check

2015-10-12-1444614965-6478423-FromParriswithLove_ParrisWhittingham_Huffpo_BridechillaLindsay.jpgPhoto: Parris Whittingham | fromparriswithlove.com

How helpful was the professional team you hired in navigating stressful or difficult moments?

Lindsay: Our team made it so we DIDN'T have any stressful moments! We picked a team of professionals who knew what they were doing, but felt personally invested in making our day wonderful. There is not a doubt in my mind that the team made the day. picking a "team" for your day that you gel with and that are professional and talented makes every difference in the world. This allows you to relax and let them do their thing.

I did not have one worry on my wedding day that things would not go the way they should, and that's because we picked the best team for us! On that note... once you've picked your vendors... let them do their thing. This is your one wedding, but it's not their first. They can anticipate better than any couple could... so allowing them to do their job allows you to have the best wedding day ever!

2015-10-12-1444615380-441198-FromParriswithLove_ParrisWhittingham_Huffpo_BridechillaJacqueline.jpgPhoto: Parris Whittingham | fromparriswithlove.com

What advice do you have for brides planning their wedding right now?

Jaclyn Davis, Executive Director at MAC Cosmetics (Bride, 2010): Don't let your wedding become bigger than your marriage. That day should be about you as a couple, the ceremony, your first dance and your happiness. Don't stress about the food being cold or flowers that aren't the right color. Who cares if the ceremony starts 15 minutes late, everyone will survive!

2015-10-12-1444615444-6441322-FromParriswithLove_ParrisWhittingham_Huffpo_BridechillaArielle.jpgPhoto: Catalina Kulczar | fromparriswithlove.com

Arielle Feiden, Customer Service Manager at Glassful (Bride, 2014): If you're planning on wearing shoes, remember to try them on with your dress. Otherwise you might find out you don't really like them and then you have no shoes. Eat breakfast even if you don't feel like it. Work with vendors you trust!!! I cannot stress that part enough. And enjoy every moment! Even the ones that don't go as planned.

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Photo: Seshu | fromparriswithlove.com

Right now, I'm minutes away from heading to my friends wedding. Sharing this reflection with you, while it's still fresh, means the world to me. I hope these words offer support in bringing your wedding vision into reality.

May you enjoy every step, even the challenging ones (barefoot, or not) and allow yourself to be fully present for the celebration! My optimism for you and the future of wedding culture is unshakable.

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