The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reality star Kyle Richards was recently on The View pushing her new book, Life is Not a Reality Show. She happened to mention that if a wife or husband has just one single one-night stand, she doesn't believe they should tell each other if they don't do it again.
Really?
If my husband Buffoon (his affectionate nickname for me is dingbat, which is much better than "Schmoopie") had a one-night stand, I would definitely want him to tell me about it. Why? So I could accidently put a little laxative in his coffee every morning for the next six months.
We've been married 35 years, and I'm not saying he's not human, and I'm not stupid enough to think he's never "undressed" a voluptuous little lollypop with his eyes, but I'm seriously insecure and it's not fair, that at our age, he looks like a mature, gracefully aging Clark Kent and I look like an old Peppermint Patty.
If Buffoon came home one night and started a conversation with, "I have something to tell you so you might want to sit down," and then proceeded to tell me that one evening he made a little mistake with his joy stick, I would call an ambulance and tell them to hurry over to my house because someone might be turning purple soon.
So I actually do get the point of not telling your spouse if you've had a one-night stand (to avoid a bear trap being affixed to someone's pee-pee), but I don't get why Buffoon would even want to dally with another woman in the first place given the fact that my uncle on my mother's side was a trapper.
I won't ever leave my husband and get a divorce because I'm afraid he'll be happy. Once in a while he'll get silly and spout off about how happy he would be without me so why should I chance it? Why let him prove he's right? -- Happy? You want happy? Get a happy meal. -- Besides, if I left him tomorrow, he would have 10 women at his doorstep wanting to date him -- women anywhere from the age of 20-something to 60. My dating pool would consist of men who drink out of sippy cups and wear Depends. It's not an equal playing field so I won't have it.
I didn't spend 35 years with a man only to let him go to some little fresh-face Lolita with a perky personality. We went to an office party not long ago, and this drop-dead gorgeous 33-year-old female co-worker came running up to him gushing and telling me how wonderful my husband is ... how lucky I am to have him. I remained calm. I was sweet to her, pulled her over to the side and explained to her that he's so precious to me, and it's a darn shame he has genital herpes. For a man with a rash, he's pretty special. He has a purple ass and his nipples are discolored. But doesn't he look good in a suit? (She left early.)
In the big picture, a person can never, ever be sure if their spouse cheats. Quite honestly, I'm not sure if Buffoon has ever succumbed to temptation, but if he has, the truth is, I only want to know about it if I can lean on Martin Short's shoulder. What is it about him? The funniest man alive. Major crush. I need a back-up plan.
I hope you are writing a book or something. You are kinda remind me of Erma Bombeck. God rest her soul!
Thanks!
Geez.
It is also REALLY funny! The trapper and happiness as a repulsive idea... for him, killed me.
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It's a problem.
Look at the on line ads and you will see a majority of older women want guys who can ski, parachute and travel the world.
The brag how THEY go to the gym to keep in shape and expect the same in their partner.
I'm in late 50s. To me, any woman under 50 is a kid I have little in common with. So no matter how young, no matter how firm of flesh or limber of carriage she may be, if she's not my age then I'd have little in common and even less interest.
I want my women the way I want my condiments: Aged, shredded and tastefully exotic.
I will definitely be aged, shredded, and tastefully exotic.
That hasn't been my experience, but then again, I don't look like Cary Grant. I've been told by women I'm handsome though.
I'm almost 40, and have decided to take a chance on doing online personals again after getting burned. (my identity was stolen before) The women I find attractive and that I'd like to date are early to mid-thirtees. Many of these ladies accounts say they're looking for a man of only 1 or 2 years older or younger than them, and it denies all other aged men from contacting them. So I'm even out of their range now at age 39.
From what I can see when we are all together, men like confident happy women who don't let themselves go in weight, figure, and have a youthful style, they don't care about the numbers.
Their ex husbands are the ones not dating. Who wants to date an old man?
1. Older women don't like men. Older women especially don't like older men. Most single older women don't even bother doing themselves at home in their pyjamas, much less mustering the good clothes to go out on a date with the distinct possibility she'll have to do something romantic/sexual.
2. Women remember how it was when they were young. They could have charged for it. Now, not so much. Well, too bad.
My experience with online dating services went like this...
What most men wanted were women who were 15 to 25 years their junior with a "fit" (hot) body. Even "guys" who were willing to date older women, these women had to be "fit" as well as financially independent. Im financially independent but not "fit", just cute. I like being older though. Being single comes natural to young people but for us older folks, we get to have fun learning to be single again without all the pitfalls of inexperience. We know what we like, how we like it and how to get it.
Everyone's experience is different, Im just expressing mine. Good Luck!