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Patricia Aranka Smith
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Blog Entries by Patricia Aranka Smith

My Favorite Things, Kind of

Posted December 1, 2011 | 02:35 PM (EST)

I can almost picture Robin Williams performing the boomer version of this classic song from The Sound of Music. Sing along! That's the spirit!

Shoppers on steroids
and family dysfunction
bankers who steal
without fear or compunction

High expectations
And songs I don't sing
This...

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Conversing With My iPhone 4S, Siriously

4 Comments | Posted November 30, 2011 | 06:54 PM (EST)

It's hard to believe that 20 some years ago, I was proud to walk around (and be seen) with my dad's "portable" phone. Circa 1989, this thing was the size of a small country and came with a forklift. It sounded like one of those vehicles from Home Depot that...

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Black and Blue Friday

22 Comments | Posted November 23, 2011 | 05:01 PM (EST)

I grew up in an era where there were only a handful of logical explanations for getting up in the middle of the night: 1) your need to vomit 2) the house was on fire (or the burglar alarm went off) or 3) your father was too cheap to buy...

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My Big Fat Jewish Thanksgiving

22 Comments | Posted November 22, 2011 | 08:32 AM (EST)

Part of the Jewish experience is talking (or screaming) at the top of your lungs and laughing (or arguing) over a fully loaded dinner table while consuming copious amounts of food and setting aside your differences as long as your mouth is full. When it comes to the holidays, they...

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No Sex, Not Quite the City

167 Comments | Posted November 15, 2011 | 08:38 AM (EST)

In the bedding department, the men I've shared one with reads like a veritable who's who do not call list. Don't ask me what my number is. For the record, it's on a need to know basis unlisted. But recently, things have changed. Here's a sentence I never thought I...

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Living Childhood Dangerously

42 Comments | Posted November 9, 2011 | 07:24 PM (EST)

Do you remember how our parents ranted about the distances they walked just to get to school and reminded us how lucky we were to have shoes on our feet? If I had birthed children of my own, I probably would have been caught saying, "In my day, you got...

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In the Matter of Life Versus Death

Posted October 11, 2011 | 05:06 PM (EST)

One of my favorite cocktail/dinner party questions to ask a group of relative strangers is, "Regardless of whether or not you believe in or plan to have one, if you HAD to have a tombstone and were responsible for writing your own, what would yours say?"

There's nothing like a...

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Andy Rooney Is Retiring and I Want His Job

5 Comments | Posted September 30, 2011 | 12:05 AM (EST)

Dear CBS:

In case you haven't heard, your oldest living and still breathing employee is just about to exit the building. Are you as surprised as I am that he lived this long by this news? Me too! What am I going to have to look forward to every Sunday...

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