Huckabee: He Is the Egg-Man

Have they really thought this through?

If Mike Huckabee and a 20-year-old Colorado woman get their way, a Colorado constitutional amendment would guarantee that every fertilized egg is a person.

There's all manner of astonishing possibilities here. For one thing, a fetus could have a Social Security number. A fetus could buy, sell, invest and go broke -- all from the womb. Heck, we could have identity theft victims who aren't even born yet.

For another, this amendment has to be retroactive -- how could you discriminate against the post-born by denying them the same rights as the pre-born, whose lives would by law also have begun at conception?

We'd all celebrate the Year of Two Birthdays. Our birthdates would change; we'd have to check different horoscopes. Twenty-year-olds could drink legally nine months sooner than they can now. Baby boomers could start retiring nine months sooner.

And women could test this amendment through the IRS and the federal 1040 form.

You could say you've missed a menstrual cycle -- gosh, you must be pregnant! You get to claim a fetal child dependent -- and the tax credit -- on your taxes. And then, within a matter of days, there might be a spontaneous miscarriage; that happens in about half of all early pregnancies, according to the NIH and U.S. National Library of Medicine. By the Colorado Human Life Amendment, that was still a full person, and you, the parent, would be entitled to a full tax deduction.

What are the feds going to do, go through your trash to look for the EPT test to see whether you're lying?

Don't kid yourself -- any government that could pass this amendment could go through your trash, and a whole lot worse, to enforce it.

Comments

[niikeb]

Its a state law, If you dont like it dont vote for it or dont move to Colorado. Im totally fine with it but I wouldnt move to Colorado anyway. If you really think about it, with total economic meltdown a horrible war and corruption at all levels of government Dont you think bush and Hillery would love for you to be slamming huckabee while not noticing 2 years after the 06 elections WERE STILL NOT OUT OF IRAQ.

[EspritDeVoltaire]

You missed the biggie, the unborn VOTE. Pregnant evangelicals get 2 ballots.

[Mariel]

We are on the verge of economic meltdown. This issue is not as important as that. Of course this issue would be important IF the other were not true.

But Huckabee would possibly bring some economic success, if it's still possible, to the nation. As he did to Arkansas as governor, where he built roads, built up bad schools, balanced the budget, got re-elected twice in a Democrat state, and so forth. He has some good economic ideas which I consider hopeful, ideas the other three front runners do not seem to have. He has the best education of all of them, in spite of the fact that it was not a Harvard, the best rational thought, in spite of being quirky on the reproductive issues.

So the question is, do we save the Titanic or do we continue to think about fertilized eggs? Not that fertilized eggs are not the very basis of life. But right now the ship is going down while the others throw spitballs at each other.

I think it is hysterically ironic that we think about eggs while the basket is on fire.

And we bulldoze the only egg-maker in the line-up, Hillary.

It's good for an evening's laugh while we contemplate our ruin.

That Cunningham fellow gave us some laughs too as he introduced McCain. This is the most hysterical (as in wombical) election ever. No sense of proportion.

[DumbDad]

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines." Emerson
It isn't madness, it's just the typically poor education of the evangelical mind.

[sparkandy]

It's not even poor education. It's the repudiation of the education they got in favor of fear. They're worse than uneducated. They're willfully ignorant. They chose to be the way they are, and that's one of their greatest sins.

[Egghead]

Patt Morrison is one of the smartest and snarkiest political commentators around and she deserves kudos for mentioning this when nearly everybody else is caught up in the Clinton v. Obama stuff or obsessing about Ralph Nader's umpteenth run for the presidency. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

[aznurse]

He seems to have a thing about eggs. Remember when he compared WMDs to easter eggs?
He must hate women, remember he's the one who went out of his way to get that rapist paroled,who then went on to murder another women?
I think though regular Americans are becoming more aware of what politions are up to now and will reject this nut.

[PackyJ]

In the words of John Lennon:

I am the eggman,
they are the eggmen,
I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob

[PackyJ]

I am the Walrus, coocoocachoo....

[MSB]

Our country is truly representative.

Huckabee represents the millions of imbeciles trying to control our bodies.

If you don't like abortion - don't have one.

[midtown]

And exactly when does Soul enter this amoeba, Mr. Huckabee God?

[starboymikey]

"Every egg is sacred,
Every egg is great,
If an egg is wasted,
God gets quite irate ..."

-with apologies to Monty Python

[wm1066]

Some people believe life begins at sexual arousal so even wearing a condom is killing a person. Wow...

[midtown]

So can a guy get a battering charge for humping a woman with a fertilized egg in her?

[rbenjamin]

This is vintage Huckabee: a simplistic solution to a "Christian" wedge issue without regard to deeper ramifications.

[Brady Bonk]

One doesn't have to wax satirically or extend very far to imagine the unintended consequences of this illogical amendment. Before there was Roe, there was Griswold, and if a fertilized egg is a person, then The Pill is murder. As goes Roe, so goes Griswold, and so goes The Pill. Google "pharmacist deny contraceptive" sometime if you don't believe in this certain slippery slope. These asshats won't rest until every last one of us counts on the rhythm method as family planning.

[Kenai]

Everything I read about Huckabee literally gives me the chills.