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Paul Abrams

Paul Abrams

Posted April 25, 2009 | 12:41 PM (EST)

Hannity's Waterboarding: Submit Your Question and the Answer He Must Give to Stop


Sean Hannity, like his cowardly rightwing compatriots Cheney, Limbaugh, Kristol, O'Reilly, Lowry, Gingrich, talks a big game about fighting spirit, war, toughness, but when it comes to putting their own bodies on the line, they follow their leader George W Bush's answer to his Air National Guard's question about whether he would volunteer for overseas duty, and check the "no" box.

Hannity has now broken ranks. He has agreed to be waterboarded, and Keith Oblermann has offered him $1000 per second that he undergoes it with the money going to charity.

But, waterboarding is for a purpose. We are told by those same cowards that waterboarding is not torture and is effective to obtain the truth to a critical question.

Recently, rightwing nut Frank Gaffney told Matthews that Saddam Hussein had a hand in the Oklahoma City bombing. He must have been waterboarded--how else could such a credible statement been elicited?

So, in addition for Olbermann's money that will go to charity, let us use Hannity's waterboarding to get a key question answered...and, in the tradition of the Bush Administration, why not pre-determine the answer and continue the waterboarding until Hannity provides it?

Submit your questions for Hannity, and I will be sure to pass them along to his interrogator. Submit the required answer in a reply to your own comment, so we can submit those separately--if Hannity knows the answer, the waterboarding will cease too quickly and the charity will not get as much of Olbermann's money.

Here's my entry: "Sean, why is it that you never volunteered for military service?" His responses will be:
"I had other priorities" (sorry Sean, that's Cheney's);
"I had 2 a-holes" (aka, pilonidal sinus, won't work, that's Limbaugh's);
"bum knee" (nope, that's O'Reilly's, Buchanan's, Chambliss's);
"too young" (taken, Bill Kristol's);
"acne" (Judd Gregg);
"minorities took all the positions" (good try, but that's Tom DeLay's)
"I was hoping to be called for 6 years, but they never did" (Mitt Romney's, and doesn't explain why you didn't volunteer, does it?)
"Thank god we have an all-volunteer army...more patriotic to get my dad elected President" (Mitt Romney on his 5 sons' not volunteering, and his 5 sons on why not...no wash with part one, and Sean's daddy is not a Presidential possibility, so no go on that one either).

So the waterboarding continues until he says: "I am a coward, I don't really my country enough to sacrifice my life or health for it--I just pretend--and so I strongly favor US military actions so long as other people fight them".

No pressure if you do not know what his unacceptable answers will be. Just ask your question and, if you wish, include the answer that stops his waterboarding.

Limbaugh called waterboarding the equivalent of a fraternity prank. So, let's all have fun together.

Go Sean Go. Go Sean Go. Go Sean Go. Go Sean Go.

Or, just go.