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Paul Abrams

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Governor Palin: The President Is Busy, So I Accept Your Debate Challenge

Posted: 03/17/2012 3:06 pm

Dear Governor Palin:

I called the White House to see if the president might be available to debate you. Alas, I was told he was busy running the country and trying to make peace in the world.

So, I was kinda thinkin', you wanna debate, don'tcha? (Mitt Romney is training me on Alaskan dialect, so don't hold it against me). Well, I am no President Obama. I am also no Jack Kennedy. But, I am no Katie Couric, either.

We could have a really good debate. Senator McCain said that you knew more about energy than anyone in the country, so people should hear you. You told Mike Wallace that you know your American history, so you have got me there. You have seen Putin rearing his head... or those... so you have an advantage. It would all be kinda neat, don't you think?

I suggest a limited set of rules: No teleprompters. No papers. For notes, palms are OK, but backs of the hands are off limits. Cameras permitted in back of us so no one can wear a Bush-Rove device. You ask me a question, I answer and then ask you a question, and on and on until the last 10' when we each close for 5'. The moderator keeps track of time so we have an equal number of minutes.

I would have proposed Rush Limbaugh as moderator, but I fear he would have done most of the talking. Same with Donald Trump, who would be guaranteed to do all the talking and if, as is likely, you would have won, he would have claimed all the credit.

Instead, I propose Newtie's last two wives -- Marianne and Callista -- to be co-moderators.

One other rule -- no winking. Otherwise, Rich Lowry may have intractable tingles, or, if he had taken Viagra, something even worse.

I am tempted to say "let's get it on," but I don't want Rush calling you names.

Yours dialectically,

Paul

P.S. You can call me "Paul," or "Joe," whichever you prefer.

 

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Dear Governor Palin: I called the White House to see if the president might be available to debate you. Alas, I was told he was busy running the country and trying to make peace in the world. So, I ...
Dear Governor Palin: I called the White House to see if the president might be available to debate you. Alas, I was told he was busy running the country and trying to make peace in the world. So, I ...
 
 
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01:19 PM on 03/18/2012
Let me set you straight, and from this point forward I will set anybody who does something similar.

She is not Governor of Alaska.

I repeat, she is not Governor of Alaska.

I reject your and and others attempt to create a class based society here in the U.S.

Just because a person held that title once, while in office, does not flow to the person AFTER he or she has left office.

The current Governor of Alaska is Sean Parnell.

http://gov.state.ak.us/
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Imzadi
Proud Progressive for decades
08:30 AM on 03/18/2012
Paul, I love your microb: Last person on Earth not on Facebook

Actually, we both will be the last people on Earth not on Facebook.

;-)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GrammaTina
09:19 AM on 03/18/2012
:) I'm not there, either.
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
Helloise
Healthy skeptic admires reason, trusts intuition
09:28 AM on 03/18/2012
count me in I'm sure it has its uses, but for me, it just seems like cyber scrapbooking
05:36 AM on 03/18/2012
Why does the author call her "Governor" Palin when she abruptly resigned from her office of Governor of Alaska some time ago? Right now she does not even hold any elected office at all, so currently she can't even be considered a politician. She is merely a jumped up attention seeking right wing media commentator. Don't give her titles she doesn't deserve.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
pmoschetta
Where are the Jobs, Speaker Boehner?
06:26 AM on 03/18/2012
Because once a person has been elected to a political office, they are always labeled with it's title, New Ideas
Same reason Newt is still referred to as Speaker, even though he resigned. Same reason Nixon was still referred to as President, even though he resigned
Just the nature of the beast in terms of tradition
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Tom Iarossi
A proudly progressive veteran and educator
09:36 AM on 03/18/2012
Well summarized. Fox is good at using those titles for those has beens. Now if we could just point out to them that anyone currently holding the highest office in the land is supposed to have "President" in front of his name. They seem to forget that frequently.
09:17 PM on 03/18/2012
No, they are not ALWAYS labeled with its title. They may choose to use the title, but Palin is the one who said titles aren't necessary so I'd think she'd be asking them not to use it rather than demanding they do as she has been known for. It's still proper to address her as Mrs. Palin since she left office. In fact, for someone who gave up the title, claiming they were no longer shackled by a title, I'd say it's more than proper, the ONLY way to address her should be Mrs. Palin or just plain Sarah as she says in her book. There are other books on etiquette that say you can refer to them as former Governor, Speaker, Senator, etc. but address them as Mr. or Mrs. when speaking to them and it's still proper.

Newt Gingrich should not be addressed as Mr. Speaker since nobody addresses Nancy Pelosi as Madame Speaker any longer. In fact, he didn't use the title for years preferring that everyone forget about his debacle as Speaker of the House. Now, he's pretending he's responsible for everything that happened during the Reagan admin. as long as it's positive.
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05:01 AM on 03/18/2012
Very funny in my opinion.
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04:16 AM on 03/18/2012
Thank you for the laugh, Paul
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MerryW
01:34 AM on 03/18/2012
I do not believe that SP would find this invitation as sassy and hummm... "inviting" as I do. I do not believe you will be getting an acceptance call.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
dowl
Lord have mercy on us all
11:58 PM on 03/17/2012
Cute. Made me reflectively smile in the midst of this GOTP'er crock o' craziness, thanks. The quitter queen needs to let it go, she lost.
11:04 PM on 03/17/2012
Sarah could debate everyone at HuffPost with half her brain tied behind her back, just to make it fair. And still win.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
NakedMoleRat
11:28 PM on 03/17/2012
I believe Michelle Bachmann is quite a bit smarter than Palin, not much though. A fifth grader challenged Bachmann to a debate and Bachmann refused. I doubt that Palin could debate a third grader and win.

"And still win". Did you mean to say, "And still WINK"?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JRsNana
The most important things in life aren't things.
12:33 AM on 03/18/2012
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, in all its glory, a Palin supporter at his witless best.
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OhMyDog
OhMyDog ate my microbio.
01:13 AM on 03/18/2012
Actually I think he's got a bad case of "Wayne" Love.
pamela18335
Ignorance can be fixed; stupid is incurable
10:35 PM on 03/17/2012
This woman takes arrogance to a whole new level.

Our President, however, remains classy. He would never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MerryW
01:32 AM on 03/18/2012
Succinctly said.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Smirnonn
Ale's What Cures Ya.
10:04 PM on 03/17/2012
"You can call me 'Paul,' or 'Joe,' whichever you prefer."

Haaaaaaa!!!! :)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mtheyseed
09:59 PM on 03/17/2012
My first thought was, "who the hell does this woman THINK she is?" when she challenged the President to a debate. And then I thought, I could debate her and would kick her ar$$ to, and I've only got a high school diploma! I think my biggest challenge would be to make sense of her word salad.
11:17 PM on 03/17/2012
You could never make sense of Sarah Palin's words. You would be too distracted by her beauty.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JRsNana
The most important things in life aren't things.
12:36 AM on 03/18/2012
Making sense of nonsensical word salad delivered by an undereducated, incurious narcissist is enough of a challenge. And while I used to think she was an attractive woman, after the last few years, I find her so repulsive it's unbelievable. Her ugly words and demeanor have taken her beauty away completely.
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OhMyDog
OhMyDog ate my microbio.
01:14 AM on 03/18/2012
As you and your little friend there seem to be...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
stardust memories
the music of the years gone by
12:08 PM on 03/18/2012
if you looked up hubris in the dictionary there would be a picture of sarah.
09:40 PM on 03/17/2012
I think Sarah just wanted the limelight back to her,She is completely overshadowed by the President and the GOP candidates don't have the time for her because she might just be an embarassment,sort of.Stick to Alaska Ms, Palin.and to FOX,at least some will lend their ears and migth just listen.
mrrgl
Brevity is the soul of wit.
08:08 PM on 03/17/2012
How about her debating Putin instead.....she can see Russia from house.
07:34 PM on 03/17/2012
Brilliant !
But these rules are too tough for her - she needs to have the questions in advance so that her ghostwriter can prepare the answers and then she has to memorize them - otherwise she can't debate anyone .
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Susanmg
08:05 AM on 03/18/2012
Memorize them? She can't even remember the Paul Revere story five minutes after the guide went over it with her. She makes fun of the President over teleprompters, but when she's on FauxNoise you can see the rpompter reflected in her fake glasses.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MasterfullyInept
US Army veteran, progressive and opinionated
06:41 PM on 03/17/2012
Sorry Paul or Joe or whatever, too busy arranging for my next reality show, "How to live off moose for a year."
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Imzadi
Proud Progressive for decades
08:27 AM on 03/18/2012
F&F - thanks for the chuckles.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
stardust memories
the music of the years gone by
12:03 PM on 03/18/2012
more like "how to live off of rabidrube's pac contributions for a lifetime".