Trump Demands Obama's Placenta

TV talk show host Donald Trump said that President Obama's birth certificate was insufficient proof he was born in America. "Anyone can invent a long form", said Trump. "It is just a piece of paper. We Americans need his placenta".

Pat Robertson, the TV evangelist and, like Trump, a former presidential candidate himself, remarked, "anyone who has read the Holy Bible knows the lord writes of birth after birth, after birth, after birth, after birth, after birth. That is god telling us to examine Obama's afterbirth".

"Obama's placenta should be a black-and-white issue, I mean tissue", continued Trump, who added, "I have a great relationship with the blacks".

House Republican Leader Eric Cantor agreed. "If his placenta does not have 'In God We Trust' stamped on it, we know he was born overseas because that's our motto. Just look at yesterday's mammoth work product from the House.

Trump said that he had hired a team of Kenyan investigators to find Obama's placenta in Kenya, and bring it back to the United States. They will first meet for 0.2 nanoseconds with his Hawaiian investigators to compare their voluminous notes.

Challenged by a reporter to produce his own placenta as proof of his birth, Trump scoffed, "what do you think that is growing on the top of my head!"

In other news, Newt Gingrich scolded Herman Cain for not going all the way with his former employees. "Only a leftwing, secular, bureaucratic socialist would not stick it to their employees", said Gingrich. "After that, you make your mistresses your wives, call your third wife a chevrolet, get the catholic church to bless the purity of your holy wedding, and all is forgiven".

 

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Comments

[jeromettaylor]

10:43 AM on 11/14/2011

Although humorous...I wouldn't be surprised if some of these events did actually occur. Especially the paragraph about Pat Robertson.

[videopage]

11:21 AM on 11/07/2011

I'm not that familiar with federal election laws, but it sure seems like forgery of a birth certificate for the purpose of qualifying to be President of the United States is a crime of some sort - and the definition of defamation includes being accused of a crime.... so, it would appear that Barack Obama may have grounds for a defamation lawsuit against people like Donald Trump, Orly Taitz, and other members of the Birther Movement's intellectuals.

If he has any problems finding a lawyer who will handle his case, I'm sure he can call 1-800 - SHYSTERS and then be referred to a specialist in his own area.

[mairs]

01:04 PM on 11/06/2011

Those wacky conservatives. In my local paper today there is an article written by a conservative who says how do we know that Obama is qualified to be president? One argument he gave was that Bush had two degrees from prestigious colleges so education doesn't mean squat. I don't think he meant to be intentionally funny. I would say to him that the issue now are the Republican candidates.

[wcrickards]

08:11 PM on 11/04/2011

This was a lot funnier when I read it on "The Onion" two years ago: http://www.theonion.com/articles/afterbirthers-demand-to-see-obamas-placenta,6866/

[Paul Abrams]

01:43 AM on 11/05/2011

Touche. Had not seen this. However, the content is totally different.

[guitarslinger68]

02:58 PM on 11/04/2011

These guys are all certifiably nuts!! No really! No more said....

[TyneCrescent]

10:40 PM on 11/03/2011

Trump scoffed, "what do you think that is growing on the top of my head!"

I honestly have no idea what that is growing on top of his head.

To some, it seems having a black man in the White House is incomprehensible. Even though its been almost three years. Seems there's no reasoning with the unreasonable, no matter how hard you try. So, I just don't try to.

[dzymzlzy]

06:58 PM on 11/03/2011

I truly feel dumber for having read this.

[Schalaine]

07:14 PM on 11/04/2011

Proving once again, Conservatives have absolutely no sense of humor.