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Paul Dunion, Ed.D., LPC
Dr. Paul Dunion earned an Ed.D from the University of Massachusetts, and MA and BA from the University of Connecticut, and has taught Philosophy at the University of Connecticut and elsewhere. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor with his own counseling and consulting practice. He has led over 300 workshops on a wide range of topics and is available for speaking engagements. Dr. Dunion is also the cofounder of Boys to Men (mentoring teenage boys), founder of the Croton Mystery School, leader of Connecticut's Men's Gathering (COMEGA) and author of several books. Website:; Path of the Novice Mystic is available at, and

Entries by Paul Dunion, Ed.D., LPC

Liberation From Victimization

(0) Comments | Posted May 23, 2016 | 10:28 AM

Before any viable expression of personal empowerment can happen, getting clear about an attachment to being a victim is critical. An old definition of the word victim is an animal killed and offered as a sacrifice. We can say that we are victimized when we are violated or sacrificed for...

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Perils of the Looking Good Family

(0) Comments | Posted May 9, 2016 | 10:22 AM

The pain in a Looking Good Family is muted behind a veil of appropriate psychological decorum. Language spoken is uplifting, designed to reference what is jovial, accomplished and radiant. Common discourse is tightly woven with hyperbole: "That's perfect!" "Absolutely right on!" "Just wonderful!" "Couldn't be better!" "That's magnificent!" "Absolutely beautiful!"...

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Confusion About Collusion

(0) Comments | Posted May 2, 2016 | 5:12 AM

As we move away from speaking critically about others, we often move into collusion, believing no harm can be done there. There are three forms of collusion. 1) The first happens when we are witnessing someone being harmed by a perpetrator and we remain silent. 2) The second is a...

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Learning to Die by Practicing Closure

(0) Comments | Posted April 26, 2016 | 2:22 PM

Could it be that learning how to die is a prerequisite to learning how to live? We typically enjoy our euphemisms when it comes to talking about death and dying. We say, "Life is about change," and "Change is about something ending and something beginning." We avoid saying, "Change is...

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A Tragic American Love Story

(0) Comments | Posted April 21, 2016 | 4:20 PM

Learning to live a vibrant love story is challenging and arduous. It calls for the ability to be aware of one's own unique preferences and values, while welcoming the individual tastes of the beloved, and finding a way to connect amongst the unique differences of two distinct people. Since we...

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Why Compassion?

(0) Comments | Posted April 14, 2016 | 4:23 PM

Why Compassion?

Paul Dunion

Every spiritual tradition that has avoided isolation and self-aggrandizement has brought attention to the importance of compassion.

• "Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and life of service and compassion are the things that renew humanity."

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Learning to Feel Hurt and Disappointed

(0) Comments | Posted April 4, 2016 | 1:24 PM

It's not that most of us don't know how to feel hurt. We have not learned how to creatively feel hurt and disappointed. We get hurt when we either are the recipient of invasive physical or verbal blows or do not receive enough attention and feel forgotten. Attack, revenge and...

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Adept at Aging

(0) Comments | Posted March 28, 2016 | 12:01 PM

Aging, like any other life transition, can be challenging and arduous. What distinguishes aging is that it is permanent, ending in death. While other life transitions such as adolescence, getting a job or starting a family typically end and move into a new cycle of life. They also receive some...

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12 Questions to Live With

(0) Comments | Posted March 14, 2016 | 10:08 AM

The invitation is to live with these questions rather than to live by. To live by suggests each question gets a neat and tight answer and all is well. To live with reflects a commitment to respond to them throughout our lives, allowing them to refresh and renew our relationship...

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The Great Welcome

(0) Comments | Posted March 1, 2016 | 2:01 PM

An old definition of the word learn, is to welcome. What actually happens when we simply welcome a guest knocking on our door? One response would be that a kindly greeting is offered and we are open to receive the visitor. There is also some anticipation of a favorable experience,...

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The Forgotten

(0) Comments | Posted February 17, 2016 | 2:13 PM

About forty years ago, I sat with my colleagues listening to a gentleman offer a training to our faculty. About twenty minutes into his presentation, I turned to my wife, who was also a member of the faculty and said, "This guy will have to break both my arms in...

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Calling Forward

(0) Comments | Posted February 16, 2016 | 10:38 AM

Although most of us spend anywhere from 12 to 20 years engaged in formal education, only too infrequently will we question what it means for us to receive an education. We typically are not encouraged to question the nature of learning. We spend years in classrooms regurgitating either something we...

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The Healing of Very Young Love

(1) Comments | Posted January 26, 2016 | 4:28 PM

Our first nine months of womb life are about being literally attached by the umbilical chord to the mother. This attachment supports survival with a flow of blood, water, air and nutrients to the fetus. We might say that our first earthly lesson is that by being attached, we survive....

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Hermes' Seven Secrets

(0) Comments | Posted January 13, 2016 | 6:53 PM

There appear to be seven axioms guiding curriculum at the ancient Mystery Schools in Egypt. These principles are credited to an ancient magus by the name of Hermes Trismegistus. Let's examine these seven axioms and their contemporary usefulness toward raising of consciousness.

1) Mentalism. Mentalism is the...

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The Quiet Wound

(0) Comments | Posted January 1, 2016 | 10:13 AM

Unlike wounds resulting from physical or sexual abuse, where the invasive energy is blatant, the wounding energy of emotional incest is stealthy and very difficult to track. The intrusive psychic energy of the perpetrator is packaged in care and attention. It can be quite challenging to break into this care...

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Welcoming Compassion for the Self

(1) Comments | Posted December 12, 2015 | 7:54 AM

Before we can develop a genuine capacity for offering ourselves compassion, we must be able to acknowledge how self-loathing lives in us and be able to interrupt it (See "Getting Mindful About Self-Loathing"). Let's look at some concrete methods for fostering self-compassion.

*Interrupting the Purposes of Our Self-loathing -- The...

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Getting Mindful About Self-Loathing

(1) Comments | Posted November 30, 2015 | 12:10 PM

Nothing plagues efforts toward creating a life characterized by serenity and contentment more than self-loathing. Attempts to loosen the grip of self-repugnance are thwarted by two significant psychological dynamics. The first is denial and the second is trying to vault our psyches into the garden of self-love, catapulted by positive...

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The Art of Self-Forgiveness

(0) Comments | Posted November 11, 2015 | 6:29 PM

We are taught that forgiveness is something we give to others and receive from others. Folks who are in some way offended, hurt or violated by us are allegedly in control of whether or not we are deserving of forgiveness. This leaves us virtually out of control regarding the role...

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Hierarchy vs. Holding Rank

(0) Comments | Posted November 3, 2015 | 7:30 AM

There is immense confusion about the distinction between hierarchy and holding rank. Many of us of felt the bite of hierarchy throughout our childhoods and it may have extended into adulthood. Hierarchy suggests that those possessing certain competencies or socio-economic status are somehow better people than those lacking such skills...

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Spiritual or Spiritual By-Pass

(1) Comments | Posted October 27, 2015 | 11:14 AM

Spirituality, like all human endeavors, can be reshaped in order to avoid the tough stuff of life. Nothing can be more demanding than deepening and broadening our psychological maturity. An ancient definition of the word psyche is soul. We can say there is soul work to do. Typically, this deepening...

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