The Record Speaks for Itself...

There seems to be a lot of confusion regarding the standard President Bush has set for the firing of any member of his administration that took part in the Valerie Plame leak. And while the president at one point said that anyone involved in the leak would be dismissed, his quote from a 2004 press appearance that any leakers would be “taken care of” and his quote yesterday that any leaker would be fired only if he or she had “committed a crime” has Democrats accusing the president of raising the bar. But a closer check of the president's statements shows that Mr. Bush has been pretty clear all along about his intention to be tough on any informers in his midst:

March 13, 2004 - “Anybody who leaked the identity of a CIA agent will lose all Life Cycle privileges in the White House gym during peak hours.”

April 22, 2004 - “If anyone working for me thinks I'll tolerate the transfer of classified information to the press, they should know that anyone who does that is gonna get a mighty cold shoulder from me and Ken Mehlman at our annual RNC taffy pull.”

June 26 1/2, 2004 - “Leakers? Unless they want their Hooters discount card torn up by me personally, they'd better knock off any leakin', you hear me?”

July 31A, 2004 - “Look, I told you, I don't like leakers. The last leaker I found in my administration is still trying to find a drycleaner who can get that grape juice stain out of his jacket. And I think you know who threw that juice.” (President points aggressively to self)

September 36, 2004 - “If I'm playing chess with a leaker, my queen becomes invincible. I mean, like, no matter what the leaker does, my queen stays on the board. Seriously. He can yell and holler and call me a cheater, but then I call him a leaker and he's just gotta, like, sit there and keep his mouth shut.”

December 56, 2004 - “I didn't say 'fired'. You took my statement out of context. (Adorable chuckle) You completely cut what I said in half. I said any leakers in my administration would be 'fired out of a cannon at the White House Christmas party.' (Another adorable chuckle) You guys call yourselves journalists?” (President secretly passes wind)

Junuary 423, 2005 - (singing and running around podium while the Prime Minister of Indonesia tries to distract himself) “Leakers, leakers, they're panty peekers! They pick their noses with rubber hoses and put their boogers into beakers!” (President falls down and rips pants)

Septly 13659, 2005 - Paul Feig decides to bail on his post about the President's quotes regarding the Valerie Plame leaker, figuring that the administration is much better at coming up with funny quotes than he is.