Idahomosexual Public Service
As a public service to those people who are straight or gay or NOT GAY, NOT GAY, NOT GAY, who may be dramatically impaired, I offer you my reading of the police report from the incident in which the NOT GAY conservative Senator from the great state of Idaho was arrested for playing NOT GAY footsie with an undercover cop. Though I am NOT GAY myself, I was nominated for a Tony Award for Best Actor In A Musical and feel that that does qualify me as an honorary gay, so I hope my performance does justice to these excerpts of the hottest gayest police report EVER written about a NOT GAY Senator who is CONSERVATIVE and doesn't like gay stuff because he is NOT GAY and was just trying to pick up an invisible piece of paper in the hottest gay action men's room from here to The Stonewall.
Listen here:
If the audio above doesn't play, click here.
E-mail: decider.koo.koo.ka.choo@gmail.com
Myspace: www.myspace.com/paulhipp
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If public bathroom sexual activity is a problem, why not deploy uniformed police patrols rather than plainclothes officers sitting, apparently, for hours riding the porclein bus. A uniformed officer would serve as a visible deterrent to not only this kind of issue, but also, to other potential criminal activities. The presence, from time to time, of a uniformed officer may allay the fear, albeit irrational, of those mothers and others who have to wait for their little sons outside the restrooms. Why a targeted sting bordering on entrapment for one category of potential wrongdoing?
Because the police aren't about promoting public safety, they're all about putting people in jail. No profit is preventing crimes before they happen.
Nowhere in the Craig brouha have I heard or read a single word (including the arresting officer's
own statement) regarding what law, if any, had been broken. There was no overt solicitation, no quid pro quo suggestion. The senator was told to leave the stall and the restroom where he was then promptly arrested. On what charge? Granted, his actions in the stall were not usual for the intended purpose of being in the stall. Yet, indecent activity was nowhere exhibited. It is very likely that a good attorney could get the charge quashed, after the fact, if what we have seen and heard from law enforcement is the only evidence they have to a crime committed. Unfortunately for the senator, the horse is out of the barn and long gone.
Yes, the time to clear his name and challenge the charges came and went. He has prior accusations of the same conduct. Guilt or innocence in a technical legal sense is beyond the point since Larry Craig set himself up as a bastion of virtue and persecuted others, including President Clinton, with a malicious glee. He also was very intolerant of other life-styles, especially gay ones.
At this point we are dealing with a Kharma violation. You can't unring a bell or unburn a piece of paper. Pulling out a congressional card seems to be further evidence of abusing his office - was he asking for diplomatic immunity, threatening a cop, or just asking for a vote - not!
This man is getting what he deserves and exactly what he asked for. He has a psychological compulsion to expose himself. (No pun intended).
Bill Clinton probably would have acted differently, too, in retrospect. But just for being intolerant somehow there is justice, and he did plead guilty, and, if he signs legislation that he doesn't read, or can be blackmailed. I hate to see a good man go down but he is the architect of his own demise.
What a shitty job that cop has. Sitting in a
rest room stall waiting for some poor jerk
to make a pass at him.
With the senators money, why in the world wouldn't he rent a room? Call an escort service,
or come out of the closet and stop being the
hypocrite that he is. And why do they always
parade their poor wives as some sort of
loyal puppy dog?
Their wives should be kicking their butts.
The hypocrisy issue is going to play as a major backdrop to the election next year. The more the Gops bloviate about the Clintons, the Democrats, and morality the more it will make them look foolish. They have time and again been shown to be morally bankrupt. The consequences of this may be that Evangelical voters stay home in 2008, giving the Dems stronger gains in Congress. One hopes this is the beginning of the end of the Republican Party as we now know it.
In reading the thread of comments here, I am hearing some interesting comments about SEXUALITY in general.
Pedophiles are one strain of sexuality. A gay man cruising for sex in a public restroom would probably not go after, say, a 13-year-old .... unless he was a pedophile who wanted sex with a young man. Gays are not pedophiles. Although some pedophiles are gay. Some uninformed people think that ALL gays like little boys. NOT TRUE.
As for whether Craig is "gay" or "bisexual" or "MSM" ... What he is privately in his heart will never come out. He has drawn a public line in the sand by saying he is NOT GAY, though. Obviously, that public label is something he does not want. I think this is reprehensible. It also sends another "gay = bad" message to America.
But back to my main point: Men (straight and gay) engage in public sex for many reasons. Like it or not, it *is* a form of sexual expression. Gay sex in a public restroom (we're talking about a hand or blow job here), IMHO, has to do with (a) the danger and adrenaline rush of public sex, and (b) repression -- Craig enjoys the anonymity of the bathroom stall ... Craig does not have to hire a prostitute; Craig does not have to reveal his name; Craig does not have to feel emotions. I think that is sad.
Senator Craig pronouncements of innocence and of being a victim of not having his lawyer when he entered the plea remind me of a Dave Chapelle piece. It's the one where he's a passenger in a car with his white friend Chip as the driver. When stopped by the police, Chip told the cop that he didn't know he couldn't do that and the excuse worked. Dave would have never done that because the cops know that he knows better.
Mr. Craig we all know that you knew better.
BTW, that police officer is adorable!
I DON'T THINK THIS GUY SHOULD RESIGN BECAUSE HE'S GAY OR BI; I THINK HE SHOULD RESIGN BECAUSE HE'S A DUMB SHIT FOR CRUISING FOR SEX IN A BUSY AIRPORT MENS ROOM. TALK ABOUT RISKY BEHAVIOR!
IN EVERY CITY IN THE US, THERE'S A BAR WHERE GAY AND BI MEN CAN CONGREGATE AND THEN HOOK UP. IF CRAIG WANTED A LITTLE M2M ACTION, AND HAD A SCINTILLA OF COMMON SENSE, HE WOULD HAVE GONE TO THE DOWN LOW CAFE IN BOISE OR MINNEAPOLIS, ETC.
I KNOW A COUPLE OF BIGSHOTS IN THE "FAMILY VALUES, CONSERVATIVE" PARTY THAT COULD NOT ONLY GIVE HIM DIRECTIONS TO THE D.L.C. IN WASHINGTON, DC BUT COULD ALSO GET THE DOORMAN TO WAIVE THE "COVER" CHARGE.
THEIR INITIALS ARE KR AND KM AND MAYBE EVEN GB. AFTER ALL, JEFF GANNON WAS INVITED BY SOMEONE TO SLEEP OVER AT THE WHITE HOUSE 10 TIMES; AND YOU KNOW THAT SOMEONE WASN'T LAURA BUSH!!
It's not entrapment. Entrapment is when the police's presence or involvement is the only way a crime would have occurred. In the eyes of the law, if the cop had not been there and responded as he did, a crime would have occurred anyway. Even in other stings, where the police pose as drug dealers or prostitutes, the legal thinking is that the subject would buy drugs or sex from real providers if the police weren't there.
Although I don't personally agree with these practices, that's how the legal system sees it.
I hate entrapement, but I love Paul Hipp, whether he is gay or not!!!
Paul, every time you do something new, it brings a smile to my face all day long and I spread your humor far and wide!
You are a rare treat in a bleak time in our history. Thank you again.
doglove
I think many are missing the point here. Senator Craig is a pervert, a dirty old man, a hypocrite and a last but not least A SENATOR FOR THE LOVE OF PETE. This has nothing to do with homosexuality or heterosexuality. This DIRTY OLD MAN was caught trying to engage in sex in a PUBLIC restroom. I think that pretty much speaks for its self.
Couldn't the good senator be bisexual; hence, "not gay"? Why doesn't a reporter ask him this? Then, if he answers "I'm not bi- either", then we would know his true level of mendacity. Until then, we don't know for a fact that he is a liar, per se, albeit still a hypocrite, given his voting record.
As for the gay person worried about the equal protection clause as regards public displays of affection, I know that public heterosexual fornication is generally illegal in these here united states. And I would imagine most heavy heterosexual foreplay is treated similarly, ipso facto. That said, I am sure there is still a bit of a double standard in this regard vis a vis public heterosexual vs homosexual over-the-line displays of public affection and the law.
I like the "be very afraid of Republicans in the restroom" meme.
The arrest itself has nothing to do with Craig's (not) being gay. What is regrettable, though, is that is will, and already has become, a gay issue. Republicans are going to shun him, not because of the nature of his crime, but because it was directed toward a man. Just look at how Craig chooses to defend himself; his most firm statement was "I am not gay." It would be far less damaging to his career had he been caught in a scandal with a woman.
A couple or three points:
1) What the cop did encouraged Craig; he responded to the advances by moving his foot up and down, which comes close to entrapment.
2) Craig's just another self-loathing homosexual. He believes he's not gay because he says so. I refer to this "The Clark Kent School of Gay": if you keep the hat and glasses on and act really straight, no one is going to know that you're actually wearing spandex tights and a cape under that conservative business suit and that, on occasion, you fly.
3) The cop was way cute; I would so do him! Wonder if he hits the same mens room after his shift...
Uh, people? Does the word "bisexual" not exist in your vocabularies?
Do bisexuals actually exist?
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