Idahomosexual Public Service

As a public service to those people who are straight or gay or NOT GAY, NOT GAY, NOT GAY, who may be dramatically impaired, I offer you my reading of the police report from the incident in which the NOT GAY conservative Senator from the great state of Idaho was arrested for playing NOT GAY footsie with an undercover cop. Though I am NOT GAY myself, I was nominated for a Tony Award for Best Actor In A Musical and feel that that does qualify me as an honorary gay, so I hope my performance does justice to these excerpts of the hottest gayest police report EVER written about a NOT GAY Senator who is CONSERVATIVE and doesn't like gay stuff because he is NOT GAY and was just trying to pick up an invisible piece of paper in the hottest gay action men's room from here to The Stonewall.

Listen here:

Comments

[queertodaydotcom]

Craig did not have sex in the bathroom. He was arrested by an undercover cop pretending to cruise with him. He was tricked. I don't think that is right. I think people are acting like we have a huge problem in this country with gays having crazy wild sex all over the place - and it just is not true.

Also, men who cruise for sex with other men are not pedophiles. They are cruising other men. They are trying to be as private as possible, and not get caught.

If tehy ARE disturbign the peace, or taking too much time in a stall - have the airport security tell them to knock it off.

No need to spend tax payer money on police officers that pretend to be gay so they can flirt with gay guys and then arrest them on their assumed intent to have sex.

[Wilburrr]

First of all, let me say that I AM NOT GAY, I HAVE NEVER BEEN GAY. Some of my best friends are gay, but I wouldn't let my daughter marry one.

Craig's rights end where my body parts begin. I would rather not have to deal with this shit when I'm in a stall taking a crap. The police are probably cruising this area based on prior complaints; they are generally reactive, not proactive, in these situations. It appears that Craig initiated and escalated the contact. If that is the case then I applaud the police work.

[Amilius]

We should remember that entrapment is an anti-gay tool that Craig would support. It is his self-loathing hypocrisy that might be our most practical focus.

[CJGibson]

Hey, it's almost understandable. I mean, the cop is kind of cute...

:X

[KeysDan]

I am a little worried that the Craig story will wind up hurting gay people and Democrats that support civil rights for all. The Republicans will require that Craig take the long walk, and sooner, rather than later, the Senator will go the way of his libidinous hetero- former Idaho congressional colleauge, Helen Chenoweth (remember her? No? I made my point). However, the true story line of hypocrisy and law breaking seems to be giving way to antigay fuel. What will be remembered, I fear, is the foot tapping and wide stance, just as the astronut diaper story endures. Senator Vitter, another hypocrite and lawbreaker, remains in the senate, and, indeed, was welcomed back with applause from fellow Republican senators. After all, they needed him in their barber shop quartet to make their eagle soar.

[Wilburrr]

The issue is Craig's public behavior. It has nothing to do with his sexual preference.

[ustreetdude]

Good discussion here.

I am a gay guy who has a fair question though: May I call the police when a young straight couple are making out on the train? It seems they are inflicting their sexuality on me. I can see them tongue each other and their hands are all over each other. They are not in private. I have seen hyper-sexual straight couples on trains, in clubs, and in restaurants. May I call the police and report the sexual disturbance?

[ShadesofGray]

Possibly.

But definitely call if you start seeing anything pink and naaasty!

[CuriousConservative]

You may call, but remember that the cops go by two sets of rules:
1. Harass and Arrest any gay person who dare to try any pick-up in public because gay people belong to jail.
2. Straight couples necking or kissing and etc. "Oh, how sweet" Move on!

[WoodyCPM]

That would be exactly right. It's another indication of the heterosexual tyranny under which we all suffer. They're like fish swimming through water. They can't see it. While not ADVOCATING public sex, you're right to point out the layer of homophobia that always accompanies these kind of sex scandals but pointing out how different the public space is for straights than it is for gays. It was the same in the priest scandal and in all other ones of recent vintage: The priests, McGreevy, Haggard, Allen, now Craig. They're all may very well be troubled individuals (certainly the priests) but I'm not ready to make them a member of an oppressed minority. None of them were "gay." They were by every definition in society, straight. They lived straight lives, they went home to straight families, in straight communities and attended straight churches and practiced straight politics and were pretty much surrounded, as we all are, by straight people. What they were was actually two-timing, adulterous hypocritical straight men who got caught with their pants down. Let's not smear all the courageous gay men, and even bisexual men, who did not and do not play those games with themselves or the people they love. But the press goes on and on about how they're gay, not gay, this that gay there a gay everywhere a gay. None of them have anywhere near the cojones of genuinely gay men who risk life and career every day. Those strong gay men who refuse to hide behind a skirt and thus risk the advantages and approval of straight society.

[Wilburrr]

I have seen the same.... with heterosexual and homosexual couples....

[splendid1]

Where I live, we’re helping remind people what party he is with. They’re popping up like mushrooms all around town: Little red, white, and blue stickers on interior men’s room stall walls that read: “Be Careful: The guy in the next stall might be a Republican.”

Note: All you need is a sheet of office labels and an inkjet printer. This should go viral.

[protagonia]

Never thought I'd live
to see the day
when being Republican would simply mean closeted gay.

[LeaderofMen]

As a gay man who has not needed to frequent a public toilet for sex, I have no sympathy for the man.

But... I do find it a bit odd that we have bizarre set of rules in place where the mere suggestion of having sex with a man in a public toilet can get you arrested.

That tells me that we have a twisted mindset when it comes to consensual sex.

All that being said, it is supremely important to keep in mind this point when discussing Larry Craig. He has ACTIVELY sought to prevent gay rights from happening within his sphere of influence - as a legislator. He is DANGEROUS to common sense. He is dangerous to any value system you care to adhere to because of the hypocrisy of the situation. He is a danger to his wife.

He is living in the 50s with respect to what is gay and what is straight. WAKE THE F##K UP, Senator. This is the 21st Century. If YOU want to live like a refugee, then go ahead. But how dare you drag the rest of us gay people down with you. How DARE you draft and or co-sponsor or even hint at denying me rights while you go around getting/giving blowjobs in nasty toilets. How DARE you deny me and my partner of 19 years the right to be legally joined. How DARE you lie to your wife, your family, your constituents, and how DARE you show your f**king face on the air and tell us you're not gay.

Go f*** yourself.

[protagonia]

Larry C puts the Ho back into Idaho.

[JeanPaulSatire]

What about the 'id'?

[doglove]

Most excellent post. Thanks for that.

doglove

[SeattleSlough]

State and County health departments use the term "MSM" (Men who have Sex with Men) instead of "homosexual" or "gay."

And the issue here isn't gay bashing per se. It is a public lewdness issue. What this guy wants to do in a hotel room is one thing. What he wants to do in public is another. The cops were there because people had complained about randy goings on in the bathroom.

[HWR]

Values, politics, blah, blah, blah... Paul, this hilarious - Fing brilliant!

[MagisterLudi]

I didn't realize one of the family values would be giving blowjobs in a public bathroom. Maybe Craig is not gay, but just a common whore ( of either gender).

[ashabot]

Of course, I'm NOT GAY but Bravo! Standing ovation! Senator Craig, take a bow.

[LeftNotRight]

Clearly Senator Dirtball...I mean, Sen. Craig does not want to believe he's gay. But of course deep down he knows he can't deny it.

Perhaps he's been shoveling his "family values" routine for so long he's actually come to believe it about himself. Senator Scumball's "lifestyle" is that of a straight, married man with children. But he's actually a disturbed, closeted moron who can't be true to himself. Admitting that would mean that everything he's preached about, including his entire political career, will have been nothing but the hypocritical joke it really is.
What shocks me more than anything is that Idaho voters haven't seen through his 25-year charade of "playing" the straight conservative while actually being a gay sex fiend who likes having sex in rest rooms. Don't think for a second that he hasn't been doing this for many, many years without getting caught red-handed...until now.

[Guaddog]

Okay, I am sorry, but I am supportive of gay rights and all, but that does not include the right to public sex - in bathrooms or parks or alleys. When I, or my children, go to the bathroom, I do not wish to see or hear ANYONE having sex with ANYONE, regardless of gender, inclination, orientation, or political affiliation. Get a room. Being against public sex, again, regardless of gender, inclination, orientation, or political affiliation, does not make me homophobic, thankyouverymuch.

[ShadesofGray]

Agreed. You are not being homophobic.

Public sex is just too nasty in so many ways--no matter who you are.

I prefer to pick up my guys on the dance floor, take me to their home (mines a bit messy with the dishes in the bathroom and the underwear in the oven) and THEN do some toe-tapping, palm-slapping and finger-waving.

[mommadona]

Luscious.

I mean

"Real good, guy! Yep, real good."

[Shadow51]

That was really funny. I think from listening to your reading of the police report, I finally understand why all these NOT GAY GOPers are so anti-gay. It gives their NOT GAY activities that "forbidden fruit" rush. If it was OK for them to be gay, they'd have to find some other way to "break the rules" to get that rush. It's an addiction that has nothing to do with being gay or not.