Top GOP VP Choices: Failed Business Leaders, Former Dems, Confirmed Bachelors and Creationists

If you thought the Republican primary field was a bit of a joke, wait until you get a closer look at the front runners for the vice presidential slot: the names most mentioned include a failed VP candidate from another party, a "business leader" who was fired for poor performance, a closet case who just found the love of his life (a woman), a man half John McCain's age who doesn't believe in evolution, a governor who publicly complains about his sex life, and of course the dredges of the primary itself.

Carly Fiorina, former Chairman and CEO of Hewlett-Packard, was recently included among columnist Stu Rothenberg's top three choices for John McCain's running mate. And, in fact, she has been spending a lot of time running around the country with and for him, probably much to the despair of Meg Whitman, CEO of eBay, who picked the wrong horse in the primary, Mitt Romney. As opposed to Whitman, though, Fiorina woefully mismanaged the company she was running, underperforming every single one of her competitors. The day she was fired, HP's stock went up 7%. For all this, Fiorina was paid $220 million, making her even wealthier than McCain's heiress wife. This discrepancy between rewards and results is of course not unusual among large corporations, but that does not make it any more palatable to voters, especially in the middle of a recession. That she so prominently figures in his campaign is more evidence that McCain really wasn't kidding when he said that economic issues were not "something [he] understood."

Perhaps Fiorina's main asset as a potential VP is that she could make the McCain brand go from "stodgy, white man" to "leading edge, relevant," from "laggard" to "leader," as she described her own greatest achievement at HP. If white men are in fact irrelevant, though, would it not be easier to just vote for the candidate in the race who is not a white man?

Rothenberg is also a big, big fan of Connecticut for Lieberman Senator Joe Lieberman, the man the Democratic Party picked as its VP in 2000. There are few precedents of twice-failed vice-presidential candidates (which we assume Lieberman inevitably would be), but one of them is Democrat Thomas Hendricks in 1876 and 1884. A striking parallel with Lieberman is highlighted on the US Senate's own site: "no one doubted that [he] was available for the nomination (...) but his constant availability in every presidential election (...) had devalued his candidacy." Were he to become McCain's running mate, Lieberman would also have the distinction of running for federal office under three different party banners in eight years: now that would put every other politician's flip-flopping in perspective. In a recent preemptive, back-handed defense of Lieberman, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said that the Connecticut Senator voted with Democrats on every issue except for the Iraq war. This should be problematic for McCain, but Lieberman is a "good friend"/stage whisperer, and that counts for a lot. Then again, if being a "good friend" of McCain's is the main qualification, why not pick someone fresh to the VP world, like Hillary Clinton?

Lieberman's desperate ambition pales in comparison to Florida Governor Charlie Crist's. This is not only because Crist is the political George Hamilton, burnt to a crisp year-round, but because after 30 years of "confirmed bachelorhood," Crist is getting married. To a woman. To Crist's credit, he was able to win a competitive race for the governorship and remain popular in office all while being a "bachelor" and favoring some significant forms of gay rights. But it may be that with Mississippi, say, in play in the presidential election, Crist is taking no chances, hoping that openly heterosexual wedding bells will make prejudiced voters forget his relationship with a man identified as his "long time partner" by the Broward Palm Beach News Times. That said, the pickings must be slim, and McCain desperate for Florida's electoral votes, for him to seriously consider the Governor so soon after Crist's Florida homeboy Rep. Mark Foley and Idaho Sen. Larry Craig were ran out of DC by a lethal combination of media attention and homophobic right-wing furor.

Tim Pawlenty, Governor of Minnesota, essentially has the opposite problem. An unremarkable man who squeaked to reelection in 2006, he has been married (to a woman) for over 20 years. His wife loves fishing, football and hockey (not that there is anything wrong with that), but apparently doesn't love sex. At least not with her husband, which he recently shared with us on a Minnesota radio station. Perhaps he was joking (this is the kind of joke men make when they REALLY need some), but wouldn't it be challenging for voters to avoid picturing the vice presidential candidate as chronically afflicted with vasocongestion? Or as having non-marital, illicit, un-American or heathen paths to release his frustration? All in all, probably not the right look for a man a heartbeat away from the presidency.

We only wish there was some hint of sexuality to Bobby Jindal, the 37 year-old squeaky clean Louisiana governor, who, in a breathtaking gesture of hypocrisy, was propelled to victory in a state normally little known for rewarding respectability. We also wish there was some hint of rationality in the former McKinsey consultant's approach to evolution, which he deems to lack basis in science, favoring giving schoolchildren a "choice" and "letting them decide for themselves" which of the "theories" most appeal to them. This remarkable open-mindedness, however, does not apply to sex education in Louisiana's public schools: Jindal believes it is best "handled at home." Such religious tolerance is sure to play well with moderate swing voters and those libertarian-minded Western states in which McCain is struggling, from Montana to Alaska to Oregon. It also finally puts Brown University, who awarded Jindal's degree in biology, on an equal footing with Harvard, where George W. Bush "earned" his MBA.

Of the GOP primary leftovers, two are thankfully little mentioned nowadays: Fred Thompson, older in appearance and lazier than McCain, and Rudy Giuliani, whose one-note incompetence and corruption took him from front runner to big joke in about a month. That leaves the first and second runners-up: Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney. Huckabee kind of doesn't seem interested in the job, perhaps because he is more focused on those highly profitable tax and drug money haven junkets, or perhaps because he is playing it really cagey. At the other end of the spectrum is Romney, practically panting at the prospect. This is a little sad because the same problems that undermined him in the primary are sure to resurface. While it is his Mormonism that is consistently considered to be the biggest barrier to national success for Romney, there are many other challenges.

As he was in the primary, Romney is still assumed to be "presidential" and "telegenic" (media code for the unmentionable "handsome"), considered a leading quality for a vice presidential candidate. This, though, has far more to do with the middle-aged white male heterosexual press corps' fantasy of what they themselves would like to be and to look like were they president: rich, tall, born to privilege and "square jawed." In reality, Romney has the sex appeal of a napkin holder (acknowledging that beauty is subjective) combined with the blow-dried, wild-eyed seething intensity of a 1980s televangelist (or perhaps Jim Jones.) He wasn't "telegenic" enough in the GOP primary, and he sure won't be "telegenic" enough in a general election. McCain is also said (probably by Romney boosters) to be salivating at the prospect of the former Massachusetts Governor's fund-raising skills. These are certainly a step above McCain's, but here too he fell far short in the primary, in which nearly half of the Romney campaign's funding came from the candidate's personal fortune. In any event, it is all moot, as McCain has chosen to go the public financing road, showing remarkable self-awareness about his ability to raise money beyond what his wife can provide.

Of course, there are other potential candidates, some of whom may not be as flawed as the front-runners. The irony for the GOP this year is that it finds itself in the position of having to really think about diversity, normally something that haunts Democrats. Placating Christian conservatives, attracting unaffiliated voters, and not looking like the "stodgy, white man" ticket is a tall order for a party whose most recent choice was Dick Cheney.

Comments

[oafishcad]

All the candidates mentioned have one common flaw that should prevent their election. They're all Republicans. While Lieberman may try to deny it, he too is a Republican. I know it's a mean thing to say about another person, but yes, they are Republicans. Openly, self avowed members of the GOP.

[likeicare]

Carla would be great -- she talks in that wispy, sing-song voice, and he CEO skills suck, bigtime -- so she'd be a good pick.

Jindal is just wierd. He'd be a good pick, too.

Mitt's the best, tho -- he'll have the evangelicals twisted into pretzels trying to defend him.

[Angelus2007]

I have 2 observations. If the biggest problem with Jindal is creationism, then Obama will have a problem with him, since 66% of the population feels that Creationism is definately true (39%) or probably true(27%). So if Obama started attacking Jindal on his stance on evolution, he will offending 66% of potential voters. Like it or not, the majority of the people in this country believe in creationism, and if 66% of the people believe in creationism, that aren't all republicans. I am a democrat, and I beleive in creationism, and if somone starts attacking my beliefs I won't vote for them. That is part of the reason I do not support progressives.

http://pollingreport.com/science.htm (link to polling data)

Also Huckabee, I think he is lying low so he can make a run in 2012, or 2016. If McCain wins, he will probably run in 2016, unless McCain chooses not to run again. Huckabee is likeable, and has appeal across the aisle with his populist views on the economy, his softer stance (compared to most on the right) with immigration, health care and the environment. He is the only repulbican I see on this site who isn't bashed by 95% of the comments, and on HuffPo I don't expect any republicans to be liked. Huckabee could be dangerous in 2012 espeically if Obama is elected and can't clean up the mess fast enough.

[mikie63]

I can't figure why the old pope let Galileo off the hook. He should have been burned on the stake for even guessing that the earth was not flat. Come on, anyone with any brain knows that if a pope or christian believes something it is absolutely true; no questions asked.

Give me a break!!!!!

[choirgirl]

hilarious article. you should listen to some of the cspan callers if you want to hear stupids!! one person suggested that the welfare cheats were killing the economy, and they should all go back to cuba where they can be commies. my land, what a riot. sadly, those dingbats vote.

[KeysDan]

The republicans are, at their own peril, overlooking Fred Thompson. A McCain/Thompson ticket based on "war and order" would be, like an aged T-bone, real juicy.

[24hrlib]

Mr. Jenkins are you in practice writing for Entertainment Rags? I thought the GOP could toss some non-issue stuff out there on libs. Sheesh.

[Kassandra]

Great read! I laughed all the way through it!

[VSamuels]

As opposed to Whitman, though, Fiorina woefully mismanaged the company she was running, underperforming every single one of her competitors. The day she was fired, HP's stock went up 7%. For all this, Fiorina was paid $220 million, making her even wealthier than McCain's heiress wife.--P. Jenkins
______________________________________________________________________________

(Just watched the Morning Joe crew interview Fiorina and not one mention of her fitness to serve. ) The interview was basically a softball approach based on the assumption she is competent and fit to be a possible candidate for VP. This interview, in a nutshell, shows us how our nation has begun to unravel; those who are rich enough like Fiorina are able to fail miserably, yet not be held accountable or placed under scrutiny for the financial damage she produced at HP. There is in fact today, the acceptance of the failure of these 'super-rich' folks by others within the MSM who promote them, as they recognize these folks care about the same thing they do: money.

The list itself you mention is but further confirmation that the "people" themselves are not picking its leaders, as much as these "leaders" are thrust upon them, by other incompetent and self-interested folks who seek to manipulate them for their benefit. The fitting question is who will arrive on the business front and begin to speak up and out about the 'culture' of failure which steadily produces the enormous wealth of these platinum and golden parachutes?

[sufi66]

Nothing succeeds like failure for this crew, especially the women. There's little evidence that they did their former companies any good. They did enrich themselves, however.

Democrats like failure too. Look at how close Hillary came to the nomination.

She only voted for a senseless war and failed to deliver health care to the American public when Democrats controlled the presidency and all of congress. Quite a feat!

Proof positive that gender has little to do with how people acquire power.

Mediocrity knows no sex.

[hank48188]

Fiorina was the person that made the good decisions that saved that company, she was fired too soon.

[TheEuropean]

Why does the U.S. not accept openly gay persons, like Christ. The mayor of Berlin - in his status comparable to a Governor - comes with his male partner to official events. He is, by the way, very appreciated by females for his dancing skills. The mayor of Paris is openly gay as well.

[HypocrisyAlarm]

It's because the US population is, in large part, comprised of people who are shockingly ignorant. In my years living in Europe, I have yet to encounter anyone as lacking in general knowledge as most of the people I encountered in the US. It's all about education, and one can get a 12-year diploma having learned little beyond the names of the positions on a basketball team (all five of them). To get a decent education in the public schools, one must often endure taunts about being a "brain" and contend with unending peer-pressure to stay as ignorant as everyone else. To many (a strong majority, I would say), being a good enough athlete to play on the first (top) team is far more desirable than mastering calculus.

[FirstShirt]

Right. That's why our european betters have had two world wars, communism and facism. Yeah, they sure are smarter than us.

[steamboat]

HypocrisyAlarm, you are so correct. Want to hear an example: Lightning hit me dead if I'm bs'ing.........I talked to a lady over the weekend who is the Asst. Superintendent of schools in a district with many schools, educating our children, and she was stunned when I told her McCain had been a POW during the VietNam War. Thats how unimformed people are........I have talked to at least 10 black people who did NOT know it was the Nixon Administration who created Affirmative-Action, or who James Meredith was.

[Chilledogg]

Ignorant and misinformed. I see "intelligent" people who get all thier information from emails or thier preacher.

[foofighter]

I don't think Christ was quite "openly gay" but Crist certainly comes close! ;-)

[starkweather444]

He was seen with 12 men everywhere he went.

[mikie63]

Hey, I never thought of that. It's actually a little scary.

[TN60]

http://www.vvof.org/mccain_hides.htm

I'm more concerned with why McCain's military records are classified.

What is he hiding ???

MSM start doing your job and answer the question of military records !!

[Rog49Thomas]

There are several very "logical" reasons.

First, we don't want the Viet Cong to learn how we're debriefing our service men as this could give them a military advantage. If we let the Communists win in Viet Nam, then all of Asia will fall. Then Latin America. Then Tejas.

Second, the terrorists would gain invaluable information.

Third, the man is modest to a fault. I've not once seen him trading on his military service. Nor would his campaign attack someone who didn't share a similar distinguished record.

[larryfishkorn]

If the choices include failed businessmen, repressed gays, and anti-science religionists, well, that pretty much sums up the Republican party.

[Rog49Thomas]

The old adage is "go with your strengths".

Having a VP who could perform an exorcism would be quite helpful.

Personally, when I consider the composition of Pan's Administration, I can see how a few well timed exorcisms among that group might have had quite a salutary effect on our nation.

[mikie63]

You can say that again!!!

[JBoy]

Since when is a belief in evolution a prerequisite for public office?

[Rockwell]

HuffPost's Pick

It's not a prerequisite. But when a candidate can't tell the difference between religion and science, especially someone with a degree in biology, it's worth considering. For example, this potential president might outlaw stem cell research and fund faith healing instead.

[Rog49Thomas]

I was disappointed to read your post.

Here in a nutshell is the Republican solution to various social ills in our country - faith based programs.

I think if we gave some of these TV pastors say $500 or $1,000 per person we could quite easily provide health coverage for the 47 million Americans who don't have health care.

Think of the budgetary savings.

And the impact on our economy - sick people wouldn't have to take off from work or be hospitalized. They could continue working contributing to the economy and thus paying more taxes.

How else are we going to be able to afford those no bid contracts for Halliburton? And a third war (Iran)?

Please get your priorities straight!

[FirstShirt]

That's just what the democrats need: more divisiveness and antireligious rhetoric. I'm sure that will bring in the independents and moderates.

[steamboat]

Be careful, your candidate belonged to a church for 20 years with a preacher who said, "white students learn with one-side of their brain while black students learn with the other side of their brain."

[Angelus2007]

66% of the population beleives in creationism, if people start attacking that, people will be offended.

[gurukalehuru]

It's true that the Republican field is full of whackos and losers, but if that's all you've got on Pawlenty, you've got nothing.

[wolfgangmo]

That is very true.

Timmy "Big Daddy" P, as he is know in the land of 10,000 lakes, is amazingly underwhelming.

[steamboat]

Forget personality, how is he as an administrator and leader of a state? Remember, Minnesota had a charismatic and colorful personality as governor, Jesse Venture, and he, by all accounts, was a horrible governor.

[VSamuels]

I agree, it's not a matter of 'gothcha' but at this juncture, McCain needs something other than the cast of Graham and Lieberman following him around each stop and standing behind him as he gives another boring rendition of his policies. The MSM seems not to ask why McCain is always traveling in groups, he is the one who is running, right? Imagine if Obama had Gore, Clinton, Biden or Dodd with him at every stop along the campaign trail, the types of disinformation about his 'inexperience would be deafening.' McCain, of course, is doing it because so many conservatives don't feel comfortable in what he represents, so he pretends he is friendly with the most fervent neo-right wing republicans.

But, despite all of McCain troubles with a campaign theme, bouts of extreme boring speeches and republican fundraisers abandoning his campaign, McCain's number one equalizer remains he is a white man in a nation where only white men have been duly elected as the POTUS. The MSM has hinted around the edges about the so-called 'race factor' but its corporations who pay its bills aren't likely to want to be so transparent and crass to openly deal with the 'real' strength of John McCain.

Anytime, the MSM parades Fiorina on set to sell McCain's economic package for the middle class, when she couldn't run her own economic house at HP, they know it's the only card McCain has left.

[steamboat]

Hey, Terry McAuliffe said today, "he's willing to bet Joe Biden will be Obama's choice as VP". If so, are any of you folks or this author going to go after Biden's 'caught plagerizing' with the same energy you are Crist's bachelor status, Pawlenty's boring homebody life, Lieberman's backing McCain, etc., etc. ? I bet you don't.

[bev]

Pawlenty is gutting our beautiful state with his "no new taxes policies". Less than a year ago one of our major bridges fell down due to neglect. He appears very affable but is incredibly destructive!

[steamboat]

Wasn't that bridge on a highway (federal)?.......interesting, because when it happened it was Bush's fault. But now I'm finding out it was the state's fault. Did the prior governors ever do anything about that bridge?

[Xenopus]

Lieberman and Graham hang around McCain, sort of like the two guys who were alive in Weekend at Bernie's.....holding the Senator up. I would imagine he would keep at least one or both of them close by should he become President. Just can't imagine it would be Lierberman, so what about Graham?

[GeorgiaVet]

Well, much like Crist in FL, there are some questions about why the good Senator from SC has never married. Don't know for sure, but I am sure that a few tounges might begin to wag should he be picked as VP.