A Fly On the Wall

Overheard during Sunday's conversation at the White House:

Bush: So if we win Tuesday, you stay, no matter what those military editors say.

Rumsfeld: And if we lose?

Bush: I'll write you a great recommendation for your resume'.

Rumsfeld: Then you haven't made any commitment to Bob Gates?

Bush: No, he knows the game. He'll find out when I hold my press confidence on Wednesday.

Rumsfeld: What if we lose and you announce that you've accepted my resignation, and a reporter reminds you that just the other day you said that I was staying.

Bush: I had to lie. I couldn't announce it before the election. That would be like admitting defeat.

Rumsfeld: Speaking of admitting defeat, listen to my spin on Guantanamo Bay. Make believe you're a reporter and challenge me on the treatment of prisoners there.

Bush: Okay. Mr. Rumshead, how can you justify what's been going at Guantanamo, where prisoners can't see their families, can't see their lawyers, can't see through their blindfolds, there's no habeus porkbelly, the food is lousy, their Kooran is flushed down the toilet, they get tortured, they're forced to go water-skiing...

Rumsfeld: Wow, you'd make a good reporter. All right, here's my response. You journalists just don't understand. Those prisoners at Guantanamo have more freedom than American citizens do!

Bush: I have a follow-up question. What the hell do you mean?

Rumsfeld: Well, they can go to Cuba, and you can't.