07/13/2007 04:31 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Assholes of the Week

1. ABC News anchor Charlie Gibson, who is perhaps the worst offender when it comes to condescending verbal postscripts to news stories, this time following a report on the threat of global warming to penguins with this comment: "They just make you smile."

2. Department of Homeland Security head Michael Chertoff, for simultaneously instilling fear and gaining psychic brownie points by simultaneously claiming that a gut feeling told him a terrorist attack could occur this summer and covering his ass if it were to happen; of course my speculation as to his motivation is just a gut feeling.

3. Pope Benedict XVI, who, by approving a document perpetrating the notion that Christian communities are either defective or not true churches, and that Catholicism provides the only true path to salvation, thereby indicating that yet another religious leader is a bigoted nut.