Editor's note: The following is excerpted from "Man Up! 367 Classic Skills for the Modern Guy" by Paul O'Donnell (Artisan Books). Copyright 2011.
57. How do I attend an unfamiliar religious ceremony?
Dress should be formal, with shoes shined and a close shave--the pal who invited you is going to be seeing you through the eyes of the most aged relative on the scene. Also wear a decent pair of socks, since in places like Hindu temples, shoes are removed at the door. As long as you're not directly involved in any of the proceedings, visiting a friend's house of worship usually demands more patience than anything else. Your job is to bear it with good humor mixed with the appropriate dose of solemnity. Be open, and you may even enjoy it.
58. What gift should I give for a religious ceremony I'm unfamiliar with?
If you're not sure what kind of religious paraphernalia goes with the rite in question, something age-appropriate will do: a silver rattle, baby spoon, or a baby dining set for a baby's baptism; for a coming-of-age ceremony, like a bar mitzvah or a confirmation, a check or cash in an envelope for the young person is almost always appropriate.
60. How do I stop a friend from trying to sell me his newfound religion?
Your friend believes that he has just discovered something so wonderful that he wants you to have it, too. In his mind, he's trying to give you a great gift--the gift of his religion. The difficult part is that you don't really want what he has. It doesn't fit you, you don't like the design or designer, or you already have one and you prefer yours. The only way to stop your friend is to let him know that while it may be perfect for him, you don't want it for you. If he really won't leave you alone after you have been direct, stop hanging out until your pal calms down a bit, as most converts eventually do.
Jessica Abrahams: How the Occupy London Protesters Shook the Church
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I say "I'm an atheist. If you can tell me WHY you believe as you do, not WHAT you believe, but WHY you believe it, I'll listen for a while. First you have to convince me there is a reason I should listen". It sets them back. Generally, I get a look that conveys "What do you mean 'Why?". It's amazing how may people dedicate their lives to a particular belief with no real reason WHY they do so.
I have no reason to believe everything was intentionally created. Crystals (and many other things) self assemble. I see no evidence of a Creator and believe there is none.
Even then, that's why they WANT to believe it. I understand why people want to believe in a benevolent and caring being who watches over them and the possibility of life everlasting. Who wouldn't want to believe that? I certainly would. Is it so simple that people believe something only because it is pleasant if it is true? Is all of this nothing more than Santa Claus for adults with the presents being security and a sense of purpose?
Jefferson and most other Founding Fathers were Deists and some were Freemasons, and they used generic terms like "Creator" and "Divine Providence" because while they recognized Deity and Divinity, they did not favor any particular religion. They recognized the universal truths at the core and foundation of all religions.
When the Real American Dream is finally fulfilled, and the religious prophecies of the world are fulfilled, we will recognize that Divine Providence is the manifestation of divine guidance, care and management of human affairs, manifested through the people themselves, having finally learned that God is the Great Spirit-Parent of all, by whatever name.
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You're friend is excited. He or she feels a need to share his or her faith. All you have to do is LISTEN. Don't take anything personally; this is all about your friend not you. If you can, use questions and stuff to turn this into your friend talking about himself or herself instead of you or instead of "the way reality is." For example if your friend is talking about your sins needing to be forgiven just ask, "Oh, is that what you felt? What did you experience?" Now your friend will talk about his or her life instead of telling you what you must do.
If you think of this as getting to know your friend better rather than putting up with an evangelist, it will not be torture.
If this doesn't work, either your friend is obnoxious already or now is, then try the advice in the article.
58. Ask. Duh.
59. He's being honest with you. Be honest with him. If he can't share your honesty, he wasn't your friend to begin with.
What? Petty judgmental attitudes about superficial stuff? Must be xianity. Muslims and jews don't seem to have an issue with beards.
If you're not a Christian and my grandson was being baptized and I invited you to our Presbyterian service you could dress in jeans, a tee shirt and tennis shoes. Our pastor often has three days growth of beard like he's just starting a beard, but then the next week he'll be clean shaven and then the next week another new beard. So don't worry about shaving.
I've noticed the same attitudes on attire when I attended my son's good friend's Bar Mitzvah at the Jewish Temple.
The advice on this one was STUPID. Here's good advice: Ask the person who invited you how you should dress. Isn't that simple? ::rolls eyes::
Asking is probably a better general policy, (Pagan events, I'd generally say, 'Ah, maybe go a wee bit festive.' The whole idea of etiquette and such is really so that everyone feels comfortable and all. :) )
I believe this author has a lot that can help those who struggle through life.
If you are currently a member of Islam, I don't have a Koranic section for you, but from what I've heard, I think Allah's peaceful head comes down pretty hard on apostasy for those who go in for the more literal readings. So be careful you currently faithful Allah Dudes and Dudettes.
Any Moslems out there who can quote the correct section from that particular divine Life Instruction Manual? And be truthful! No cherry-picking!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostasy_in_Islam
What about Qur'an (2:191), Qur'an (4:89), Qur'an (5:51), Qur'an (9:5), Qur'an (9:29), Qur'an (9:11-12), Qur'an (9:123), etc, etc. ? (this is a short list)