Another Reason We Need Shorter Campaigns

As a comic, I know that on stage, your mind goes a thousand times faster than normal. The brain gets hyper-vigilante, constantly sizing up the audience; "What's working, what's not working... Why was there an errant snicker right there? Did I mispronounce something? Is my fly open? Is there a thing in my nose? Did someone do that joke before me? Why didn't they laugh at that? And that other line that wasn't supposed to be funny - how come they laughed at that? What's happening?!" It's exhausting - the constant scanning and calculating, assessing and re-grouping.

Now. Magnify that by a gazillion, and imagine what it's like to run for President. With a bazillion eyes and ears zeroed in on your face, watching every breath, syllable, blink and cough, perversely hoping you'll do or say something that - they will argue - makes you come off as too elite, too street, insensitive, too sensitive, too black, not black enough, too confident, too weak, too different, too terrorist-y...
It's no way to live.

So my heart sank a bit yesterday watching our brave new leader in his first post-victory public address. I think we all can agree that if nothing else, Barack Obama is certainly intelligent, disciplined, thoughtful, and courteous. So it was odd to see him stumble through the "Nancy Reagan séance" moment. It wasn't a big deal, really. But I swear, I could see the gears in his brains grinding. Like watching a fellow-comic on stage panic about something that you - sitting in the comfort of the audience - know is nothing to panic about.

They asked him if he plans to confer with any former presidents.

He says, "Yes, I've conferred with all of them."

And in that half a nano-second, the vigilant candidate mind-set triggered an alert. "Oh, no! I just said I spoke to all the presidents. Like all 43 of them! Watch - that's going to be the friggin' headline: 'Exhausted Obama Delusional. Claims to Chat with Jefferson, Madison and Lincoln. Lunch with Garfield, McKinley and Roosevelt Set For Early Next Week!' I better explain."

"I mean, y' know... All the living ones."

Now to me, it didn't seem like he needed to go there at all. I didn't think anyone misunderstood "I spoke to all of them." Obviously that means "all the living ones." Duh.

But I'm not him. I haven't just done eleven shows a night for 22 months. Having just stepped off the longest, most brutal campaign ever, with verbal minefields and political death looming at every turn, you can forgive the man for still being a little tightly wound. (Having the weight of the world's expectations on your shoulders can do that, I would imagine.)

So, when someone in the room snickered at "You know, I mean, the living ones," President Elect Obama, the comic-who-was-doing-fine-but-thought-he-was-losing-them had to now explain that one too. "You know, I didn't want to get all Nancy Reagan-y séance on you." ("Oh, no - now they're going to jump on that! 'Wet-Behind-The Ears Democrat Ridicules Republican Icon! Pictures at Eleven!')

Then it just keeps snowballing. Like the comic who accidentally swears on stage and then can't stop. ("Oh fuck, I just said shit.")

Somewhere in his brilliant performer mind, Obama must've known it was time to go to a new bit. ("C'mon, someone give me another question. Something easy. Oh good... something about the dog.")

Of course, two seconds later, the mind was back in red alert. ("Oh, shit... I just called myself a 'mutt.' Oh, fuck, I just said shit again!")

He was trying to put out a fire that wasn't really there, and in the process, made a silly joke. Clearly, there's some sort of transition time needed between campaigning (" I really want to convince you why I'd be good at this job.") and having won. ("Wow - I actually have the job?") I'm not sure how long it takes to make that adjustment, but knowing what we know of Barack Obama, I'm pretty sure he's already made it. Let's cut the guy some slack. And don't forget folks: please - tip your waitress.

Comments

[Liberoservative]

I loved the "mutt" comment because I'm a mutt too!!

but you are right.... I could actually see his gears moving and it was so refreshing after seeing a big blank air space for the last 8 years.....

I am so filled with optimism and joy and my soul feels that the world is feelng the same thing.....

Come into the light!

[sebastiana]

Paul, you are so funny. Thank you for the giggles and for the advice ("give him some slack"). I think I will relax a bit.

[jingles32]

Thanks Paul...you nailed it! Ugh I thought, here we go, back to the endless looping. Not sure I'll ever get back into non hypervigilant mode; there's a switch somewhere in my brain stem stuck on "high." As a medical person, I can't help but think this is not unlike PTSD. Now, can you write a piece on what this never ending campaign has done to the mind of the supporter? I'm sitll exhausted, seriously drained, and that's just from watching and listening from afar...and caring! :)
You're the best!
Sandra~

[Zubeck]

As for the mind of this supporter, I've found I have that new ADDOCD thing. It's the one where every five minutes I change what I'm compulsing about...
I'm taking a couple weeks off from cable; maybe watch some old movies.

[trixinjc]

dude, i am bi-racial: i thought the mutt joke was funny. i think you comics call it "self deprecatio­n." my other bi-racial friends thought it was funny too. kind of like an inside joke that other people might not get.

[KayJay90]

And sure enough, there are rampant demands for an apology (he's already done that) for INSULTING this poor old 87 year old woman who just got out of the hospital after breaking her hip (they had a pleasant conversation when he called her to apologize, according to the "liberal biased mainstream media" :) ).

From what I can tell reading some of these conservative blogs, that's not enough, he just caused an international incident, insulting all gypsy fortunetellers, users of Ouiji boards, witch doctors and fundamentalist right-wing evangelical Republicans.

[dv416]

campaign exhaustion aside, this was also his FIRST press conference as president-elect. the guy's done a thousand press conferences and answered a million questions.­..but none as president elect. he was probably a bit nervous. he'll relax over time.

at least the media has turned down the gaffe-o-meter since tuesday. the dude can finally get away with being himself and not have it blow up in his face.

[bubbuh]

I think we need longer campaigns. Camapigns keep the politicians on the streets and out of mischief. They give the rich folk a relatively harmless hobby to spend their money on. And, they give the some of the people who get it right some of the time a chance to think things through. Finally, we sometimes get some real entertainment, like Pailn's Couric interview, entertainment that will undoubredly be rerun for years.

[PHinGA]

Paul, you have a unique perspective and keen insight on what happened in that press conference. Fortunately, most of the media didn't make a big deal about those missteps. It's good that it happened during his "honeymoon".

[roannamac]

very funny.