Yeah -- You and Whose Army?

So everyone's talking about the nasty spike of nastiness in the presidential race -- a spike brilliantly orchestrated by the Republican machinery -- and Republican John McCain takes a moment to point out that even this is Barack Obama's fault.

Y'see, all the crap being thrown at Obama -- the fear-mongering, the half-truths, the full lies -- all the character assassination hurling Obama's way, is in fact, his own doing.

"I think the tone of this whole campaign would have been very different if Senator Obama had accepted my request for us to appear in town hall meetings all over America," the Senator from Arizona tells us.

Am I just losing my friggin' mind? Seriously. I keep looking around the room to see if I'm living in some suddenly altered state where everything we know is now called the opposite, and nobody notices. Or can stop it.

"I wish I didn't have to take your lunch money, but you should'nt of hadda brung it."

We're in the 3rd grade again. The skinny, smart kid who just moved in to the neighborhood is getting roughed-up by the asshole bully. The kid who hits you in the head with your hand and says, "Why're you hitting yourself? Why're you hitting yourself?"

"Um, actually I'm not. You're hitting me."

"You calling me a liar?"

"No, I'm just pointing out that..." SMACK!

"Why're you hitting yourself?"

And there seems to be no one to appeal to. There're no grown-ups around when you need 'em. No one to step in and say, "Alright, that's enough now. We don't do that here, fella." And in the absence of any authority, the asshole gets to keep doing it.

"Why're you hitting yourself? SMACK! Why're you hitting yourself?"

From the few minutes of the GOP convention I could stomach watching, all I could think was that Giuliani and Sarah Palin were doing some big-person, lethal version of "I know you are, but what am I?"

America: "Well, respectfully, Governor Palin, it could be argued that you are, in fact, relatively inexperienced."

Her: "I know you are but what am I?"

"Hm? No, perhaps you misunderstood. We are talking about you."

"I know you are but what am I."

"Well, Governor, just listening to your speech, you seem awfully caustic."

"You are."

"And, frankly, a little bitter."

"You're bitter."

"I mean, where's your sense of humility?"

"I'm rubber, you're glue. It bounces off me and sticks to you."

"My God - you're... dangerous."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

Maybe that's the problem. Obama treats us like adults, and McCain's team treats us like children.

Obama seeks to inspire and raise us as a nation. McCain's people want to reduce us to infants.

Obama asks us to be deep. And courageous.

McCain prays that we're simple. And cowardly.

Now everyone is calling for Obama to "get angry." "Get out there and frown this way, curl your lip that way, and clench your fist like so." And, I don't know..... That'd be cool. Sure. But I don't think the fix can come just from him. There's only so much the guy can do. It's going to have to be us. I don't know what exactly we need to do, but I know we'll do it. I have to believe -- I mean I really have to believe we're big enough, strong enough and smart enough to reclaim what's ours. I love my children too much to let the assholes take over the school yard.

Comments

[MaryMaine]

THANK YOU for this, Paul. One of the best articles I've read. You have helped to energize my flagging spirits. Please post often!

[LeviCro]

yep... this is sooooooo true.... though to experience it is like of like a nightmare that is happening while you are awake.. and you just cant imagine that it could be real.. because it is so sureal...

[Agentlady007]

You are confusing. Hit yourself on the head much? No means no.

[RDStrength]

Paul - my sentiments exactly... but I am ashamed that I have to admit I am getting a bit discouraged.

I saw the supposed turn of the poll numbers that reflected an upsurge for mccain at a time when it looked to most logical people that he was slitting his political throat with the palin V.P. selection and the dirty campaign that even karl rove said has gone too far. But - low and behold... mccain has his best polling numbers to date.

And then I am reminded that nice guys do indeed - unjustly - finish last. JFK, RFK, MLK all taken out with no real justice delivered. Carter loses to a 5th rate D-list movie actor. Clinton is impeached by a bunch of hypocrites who are far more "immoral" than he ever supposedly was.

Then bush over Gore?! and then over Kerry - a true patriot and war hero - triumphed over by a spoiled, border-line retarded, drunken, coked-out, AWOL Champagne Air-Guard, wanna-be cowboy and his fat-ass toady.

And then ALL of the documented crimes and assaults on our constitution - no one is accountable.

Apparently bad guys finish first.

I am simply afraid that it is asking too much for a honest, decent, hard working family man, who also happens to be an intelligent constitutional lawyer that cares about his country and its people... its too much to expect him to save us all.

[ranchosx]

we reasonable Americans will have to have bigger numbers than the fundies

[MKinPasadena]

Paul, get out there, do your thing and deliver this message to the 'bubbas' in those swing states that may be able to hear the truth in a comedy venue. You are right on! The patient is too sick to let a couple of quacks operate on her. We need Obama now!

[DoTheMath]

The first part of this post would be hilarious if it weren't so absolutely, no-special-effects, no-exaggeration, no-photo-shopping, no-misquotes TRUE. And just in case anyone thought Mr. Reiser might be kidding, given his background in comedy, he ends the post with a profound, heartbreaking appeal to our better nature - not unlike Obama's own rallying cry. Yes, Mr. Reiser, "It's going to have to be us." We ARE "big enough, strong enough and smart enough."

Thank you for this post. It's a great contribution. For the rest of us: http://www.barackobama.com/index.php

[ebanks84]

Paul Reiser, you ARE THE MAN! That's exactly what's going on here and I couldn't have said it better. WOW!

I wonder if anybody will WAKE UP! If that doesn't do it, absolutely nothing will! Bless you my good man for saying the right things when it matters.

[ebanks84]

Paul Reiser, you ARE THE MAN! That's exactly what's going on here and I couldn't have said it better. WOW!

I wonder if anybody will WAKE UP! If that doesn't do it, absolutely nothing will! Bless you my good man for saying the right things when it matters because I don't know where the MSM's head is. I think somewhere between their rearends.

[Teeninchee]

Amen!

[LeBeau59741]

Thank you... that's all I can say: Thank you for putting words to my vague disbelief over what I've been seeing.

[lisalisa71]

Thank you Paul Reiser. Thank you for this article, thank you for Mad About You (growing up, I wasted many valuable hours watching it before dinnertime instead of doing homework), and thank you for giving me hope that my education at Binghamton University won't ruin me.

[woodnthrifty]

You got it EXACTLY right!!!!!!!!!!! I volunteered for the Obama Campaign......1st time in
my life and I am 58.

[cincyr]

Thank you! You explained what we are experiencing in a way a child could understand, especially McCain.

[Hollis-Greene]

The claim has been made:

"Surviving crewmen and those who investigated the Forrestal fire case reported that McCain deliberately 'wet-started' his A-4E Skyhawk to shake up the guy in the F-4 Phantom behind his A-4. 'Wet-starts', done either deliberately (the starter motor switch allowed kerosene to pool in the engine and give a wet start) or accidentally, shoot a large flame from the tail of the aircraft.

"134 sailors were killed on the USS Forrestal in 1967.

It is believed by many crewmen and investigators that John McCain deliberately 'wet-started' his A-4E to shake up the guy in the plane behind his A-4. 'Wet-starts' shoot a large flame from the tail of the aircraft.

In McCain's case, the 'wet-start' apparently 'cooked off' and launched the Zuni rocket from the rear F-4 that touched off the explosions."

[Mag44]

Obama says we can only get America back if we work together. I honestly don't want him getting in the gutter w/the McPalin campaign. I like Obama because he always tries to take the high road. We as supporters need to stand up & protest against the McPalin and their supporters ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH. We won't stoop to your level. Just keep chanting ENOUGH. Can't Obama & supporters just blow off McPalin? Why feed into it? Keep the chant going ENOUGH. If ENOUGH people hear it long ENOUGH maybe it will finally sink in. Drown out the lies w/ENOUGH. Everytime a lie is thrown respond ENOUGH. By now if people don't know who they were voting for they never will and shouldn't. If they can't go to each candidates website & read for themselves and make up their minds, they have a real issue. Obama needs to stay on the issues and not let McPalins distract him w/the lies. People need to be responsible to research the facts on their own and decide if truth is being told. We need to be held accountable for our own decisions thru research, not from the blogs and mudslinging. Let's move away from this type of politics. ENOUGH already

[CEPHALUS]

A man build a campaign on lies and he is adored by the hypocritical socalled christian riegh.
BUT I SAY, WOE UNTO THOSE WHO CALL EVIL GOOD AND GOOD EVIL.
THAT'S BIBLE FOR YOU,BACKSLIDERS!

[MargaretO]

Spot on!

The Repubs are MixMasters of doublespeak. I truly believe they must take a particular course in school that hones those skills.

I'm tired of it, I'm tired of being lied to.