American Girl
• "homeless" doll — "Gwen" — with a $95 price tag is marketed by

American Police Force
• control of empty Hardin, Montana, jail is turned over to, despite the lengthy criminal record of the leader of, and despite the...

Blitzer, Wolf
• crushing defeat of on Jeopardy (finishing with minus $4600!) makes for some mighty entertaining viewing if you're the kind of person who finds a pompous anchorman revealing his howling ignorance (Jesus was born in Jerusalem?) amusing

Blunt, Representative Roy
• Values Voter Summit...

ACORN
• punking of particularly dim employees of by actors blatantly not who they claimed to be leads to cutting off of federal financing to

Anastos, Ernie
• unusual on-air banter with weatherman by

Antichrist, the • poll shows that...

American Idol

• it's beginning to look like Paula Abdul really isn't coming back to

Anderson, Pastor Steve
• karma catches up with and smacks upside the head after vile preaching by -- "I hate Barack Obama ... God wants me to hate Barack...

afterbirthers
• Obama's placenta, according to the Onion, is demanded by

ArmorGroup North America
• State Department personnel stationed in Kabul who are guarded by Animal House-emulating employees of will not be reassured by these photos

Bachmann, Representative Michele
• one hates to pay...

Anderson, Pastor Steve

• belief of that "every homosexual in the world is a deviant, is evil and is a predator"

• prayers of for the death of President Obama

• sermon entitled "Why I Hate Barack Obama" is delivered by...

Atkinson, Kristen
•annoyance of after article by claiming that Obama's mother-in-law is practicing witchcraft in the White House is made fun of
•article by is removed from Website that initially saw fit to post it

Bachmann, Rep. Michele
•declaration by that...

Bachmann, Rep. Michele
•AmeriCorps, a program recently attacked by as "re-education camps for young people ... as a parent, I would have a very, very difficult time seeing my children do this," is -- hah! -- joined by the son of
•

American Psychological Association
• conclusion of that therapeutic efforts -- or even extreme measures like exorcisms -- to change people's sexual orientation from gay to straight (the only kind of change there seems to be much demand for) don't work

At the Movies
•...

Barrett, Justin
• placement of on administrative leave by the Boston Police Department leads to assertion by that "I am not a racist. I did not intend any racial bigotry, harm or prejudice," leaving observers to ponder the actual intention of when mass...

Bachmann, Rep. Michele

• heartening addition of to list of most vulnerable Republican incumbents

Blackburn, Rep. Marsha

• virtue of balanced budget legislation is overenthusiastically -- "We're not going to cry 'emergency' every time we have a Katrina" -- extolled by

Brown, Chris
...

Bachmann, Rep. Michele

• anti-census legislation is introduced by

Beck, Glenn

• outrage of that, "as our country burns to the ground," no questions were asked of Sotomayor at her confirmation hearings on Monday (since, despite the howling ignorance of,...

Jackson, Michael

• brainlessness of

• columnists Bob Herbert and Gail Collins weigh in on

• crowd at Staples Center memorial service for is astonished by resurrection of ... oh, never mind, that was just that insufferable...

Bay, Michael
• utter lack of talent of is richly rewarded

Boehner, Rep. John
• climate change bill is described as "this pile of sh-t" by

Boone, Pat
• urgent need of to see President Obama's birth certificate

Borowitz, Andy
...

Academy Awards
•doubling of number of Best Picture nominees for

Anderson, Chris
•Wikipedia is liberally ripped off in new book by

Bachmann, Rep. Michele
•warning by that, though "I'm not saying that's what the administration is planning to do," Obama could use census-gathered...

Bachmann, Rep. Michele
• intention of to strike a major blow against the empire and refuse to answer most of next year's census questions

Bay, Michael
• claim by that the King of Jordan is a "fan of Transformers" cries out for an emphatic royal denial...

American Life League
•warnings by that you could die from using birth control pills

AT&T
•loathing of iPhone users for

automobiles
•utter lack of knowledge about -- "I don't know anything about cars" -- of incoming General Motors chairman

Beck,...

I was convinced that the only way Barack Obama could win, the only path that didn't lead to Losertown or Wussville, was for him to channel the nation's outrage and eviscerate John McCain. In my dream scenario, Obama would have turned to him at the last debate, cited a few...

Regardless of which poll you look at, forty-something percent of the people who will decide the fate of the country believe that it's an acceptable risk to place the ludicrous Sarah Palin one 72-year-old, cancer-ridden, given-to-apoplexy John McCain heartbeat away from the presidency.

Think about it. At least four...

"Senator McCain, you used to say that the main thing you were looking for in a running mate was the ability to take over as president, if necessary, on Day One. Given how many people there are in government that clearly meet that criterion, how do you justify picking someone...