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Paul Slansky
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http://www.theclotheshavenoemperor.com/PAUL SLANSKY is a regular contributor to The New Yorker, where his quizzes skewering the beyond contemptible Bush “presidency” have been appearing since the 2000 election was stolen. His work has also appeared in, among dozens of publications, The New York Observer, Spy, The New York Times Magazine, The New Republic, Newsweek, Esquire, Playboy, Rolling Stone and The Soho News. He is the author of The Clothes Have No Emperor, a New York Times best-seller about the Reagan presidency, The George W. Bush Quiz Book, and the co-author of Dan Quayle: Airhead Apparent and My Bad: The Apology Anthology. His latest book is Idiots, Hypocrites, Demagogues, and More Idiots. He lives in Santa Monica, California.

Entries by Paul Slansky

How Scary It Must Be Inside Donald Trump's Head

(1) Comments | Posted June 16, 2016 | 9:26 PM

Half of him is crazed with power, high on the belief that he's less than five months away from being able to get back at every single person who ever slighted him, however slightly. He is the most easily offended human we've ever seen, and he forgets, let alone forgives,...

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The Ugliest American

(250) Comments | Posted May 4, 2016 | 6:58 PM

Happy first day of a half year of living with the possibility (however remote we have to believe it to be in order to stay sane) that Donald Trump -- this crass and crude boor, this bloodthirsty psychopath, this Brobdingnagian narcissist, this proudly misogynistic ignoramus, this pus-filled boil of hate,...

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Donald Trump Has the Soul of a Killer

(128) Comments | Posted March 16, 2016 | 7:51 AM

So, another loser was voted off the island. From the starting seventeen, three remain: Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, two of the most obviously despicable humans we've ever been exposed to, and John Kasich, a guy with the low-bar skill of hiding his detestability behind a veneer of civility.

...
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President Trump Was "Just Fooling Around"

(449) Comments | Posted February 23, 2016 | 7:21 AM

President Trump said he was "just fooling around" this morning when he placed two pieces of bacon -- a forbidden food in the Muslim religion -- between the pages of the Quran at the annual National Prayer Breakfast. The action instantly provoked a crisis that threatens to plunge the world...

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Trump: The Enemy of My Enemies

(306) Comments | Posted February 18, 2016 | 7:02 AM

As readers of my recent posts will have discerned, I detest Donald Trump. I have despised him for thirty years, ever since Spy magazine so sublimely labeled him a "short-fingered vulgarian." This loathing has kept me from fully appreciating the public service he has been, albeit unintentionally, performing by exposing...

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Trump: A Doomsday Scenario

(526) Comments | Posted February 10, 2016 | 7:09 AM

I know nothing. Having watched American politics for 50 years and seen the devolution from Nixon to Reagan to Bush, I've nonetheless deluded myself that there was a line that couldn't be crossed, and that Donald Trump, the most odious specimen of humanity I have ever experienced in American public...

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Trump Makes Nixon Seem Normal

(167) Comments | Posted February 4, 2016 | 7:03 AM

Picture this.

A man who wants you to find him worthy of being your president -- a man who thinks you should put your very life in his stubby-fingered hands -- is awake hours before dawn, sloshing around in the sewers of his mind, so utterly incapable of acknowledging...

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The Stupidest Thing Ever Written About Watergate

(75) Comments | Posted August 8, 2014 | 8:38 AM

It has, of course, been widely reported that August 9 marks the 40th anniversary of President Richard M. Nixon's resignation. What has received considerably less attention is that the date also marks the 30th anniversary of the publication of what may well be the stupidest thing ever written...

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I Would Love to Live in a Country Where...

(562) Comments | Posted November 8, 2013 | 7:54 AM

I would love to live in a country where the next time any Republican mentions "Benghazi," just one lonely reporter says, "You know, you people have been screaming 'Benghazi' like some kind of demented mantra for over a year now. Four people died in Benghazi -- a tragedy, to be...

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I'd Love to Live in a Country Where...

(187) Comments | Posted November 4, 2013 | 10:33 AM

There comes a time in every day when I think something like, "I'd love to live in a country where there's a machine that can measure your soul, and when someone -- someone, say, like a Ted Cruz, or a Michele Bachmann -- falls below a certain level of humanity,...

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Paul Ryan Said Something That Should Force Him Off the Ticket, But You Probably Didn't Hear About It

(6848) Comments | Posted August 27, 2012 | 8:14 AM

Last week, Paul Ryan gave an interview in which, defending his position that there should be no excuses for abortion, he referred to rape as a "method of conception."

Wow, right? Talk about a benign euphemism. Rape -- RAPE! -- is now a "method of conception." You know, like...

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Romney's Most Laughable Lie Since He Said His Dog Liked to Ride on the Car Roof

(552) Comments | Posted August 8, 2012 | 2:40 PM

True story. Romney's in London two weeks ago making an ass of himself, and one of the things he's trying to do, with the supreme disingenuousness that suffuses his being, is distance himself from his wife's participation in that hoity-toity Olympics dressage competition. So, when reporters ask him about it,...

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(Dukakis + Kerry) x Nixon = Romney

(1023) Comments | Posted August 3, 2012 | 6:22 PM

It's hard to imagine a story the Republican candidate's campaign would less like the media to focus on -- with the possible exception, thanks to the relentless Gail Collins, of Seamus on the car roof -- than his mystery tax returns, which is why, of course, it's so delightful that...

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The Imminent Overness of Sarah Palin

(537) Comments | Posted September 16, 2011 | 11:02 AM

The wild orgy of 9/11 porn that we've just endured -- with, to my awareness, nary a peep of "lamestream media" outrage about Congress's obscene indifference to the medical bills of the first responders (really, does even this get left to Jon Stewart?) -- marks the end of our having...

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Karmageddon

(49) Comments | Posted July 20, 2011 | 11:37 AM

Murdoch Scandal. How obscenely pleasurable it is to type (and read) those two words back to back. Not since Watergate has a man so satisfyingly been shoved face to face with his self-created destiny. And who, finally, brought down this journalistic thug? One Milly Dowler, a murdered teenage girl just...

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Spoiler Alert! I Was Not a Reagan Fan

(419) Comments | Posted February 4, 2011 | 3:56 PM

As perhaps you've heard, Ronald Reagan would have turned one hundred this Sunday. If he was still alive and sentient, he would surely observe that he's not really so old because "It's just the 61st anniversary of my 39th birthday," and the reporters who would be there when he said...

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What Would Happen in an Ideal World

(3) Comments | Posted January 9, 2011 | 4:52 PM

From this moment on, every time Sarah Palin's name appears in print or on the Internet, or is uttered on television or radio, it should be followed by the phrase, "whose website featured a cross-hair target intended for Rep. Gabrielle Giffords." For example: "Sarah Palin, whose website featured a cross-hair...

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The Year in Shamelessness

(1063) Comments | Posted December 23, 2010 | 12:49 PM

For those who traffic in political absurdity, there's never a shortage of material. Regardless of who's in power, our elected officials are forever saying and doing outrageous, offensive and just plain moronic things, and every year brings its quota of hideous behavior. Still, it seems that the hate-spewing hordes of...

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With All Due Respect

(290) Comments | Posted February 26, 2010 | 11:10 AM

Lost in the coverage of President Obama's too-gentle smackdown of John McCain at the health care reform summit - I would have preferred to have heard something like, "You know, John, instead of whining about all of my broken promises, why don't you take this opportunity to apologize to your...

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The Horror! The Horror!

(282) Comments | Posted February 9, 2010 | 4:10 PM

She took great umbrage at Rahm Emanuel's use of the phrase "fucking retards," then excused Rush Limbaugh's subsequent reference to a "retard summit" as "satire." She snarked to the Tea Partiers about President Obama's use of a teleprompter, then was caught during the Q&A sneaking peeks at her hand, where...

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