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Three Questions that Bob Schieffer Probably Won't Ask John McCain, But He Should

11/13/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011
  • Paul Slansky Paul Slansky is amassing a memory for Americans allergic to accountability and addicted to amnesia.

"Senator McCain, you used to say that the main thing you were looking for in a running mate was the ability to take over as president, if necessary, on Day One. Given how many people there are in government that clearly meet that criterion, how do you justify picking someone who so many of the most intelligent and respected members of your own party believe clearly does not? Your campaign slogan is Country First, sir. Can you tell the American people exactly how you were putting Country First when you chose a congenitally dishonest, proudly ignorant, cold-blooded demagogue with no presidential qualifications whatsoever to sit just one of your 72-year-old cancer-ridden heartbeats away from running the country in these spectacularly perilous times of almost unprecedented economic and international crises?"

"Senator McCain, your campaign has spent the last ten days impugning your opponent's character. We've seen Sarah Palin doing it, we've seen your wife Cindy doing it, and we've even seen you doing it yourself. Well, there he is right across the table from you. Is there anything you want to say to Senator Obama about Bill Ayers or Reverend Wright or Tony Rezko? Because it would be nice if he could respond to these allegations and insinuations and put this utter bullshit behind us so you could spend the next twenty days explaining to the American people why they should vote for you instead of scaring them about why they shouldn't vote for him."

"Senator McCain, your campaign rallies lately have become forums for foaming-at-the-mouth cretins who are so certain that your opponent is a terrorist that some have actually shouted out, "Kill him!" and "Off with his head!" Given the nation's history of intolerance against those perceived to be somehow different - be it by virtue of sexual orientation, religion, or race - can you tell the American people how you're putting Country First by fanning the fires of hatred and why they shouldn't hold you and your rabid running mate personally responsible if those fires explode into violence?"

Okay, I know Bob Schieffer's not going to say any of the above, but I urge anyone who knows him to press him to find some less prosecutorial way to ask these questions, because John McCain's efforts to make Barack Obama's character the deciding factor in the election have served only to shine a spotlight on his own galaxies-beyond-shame cravenness, and he deserves to be called out on it to his face. I'd be more than happy to do it but no one's going to let me near him, so I'm dependent on Bob.

Oh, and here's a campaign haiku:

Was that a dust mote?
No, merely the remains of
John McCain's "honor."

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