What Stale Hill is This?

The Clinton campaign has been nothing if not defiantly hip, with a constant stream of cutting-edge, up-to-the-second pop culture references. Here's a sampling from the campaign trail:

"That's not change you can believe in, that's change you can Xerox."
-- Hillary Clinton referencing Barack Obama's alleged plagiarism at their Texas debate, February 21

"Anybody who thinks Hillary's gettin' out of this race before the votes are all cast and counted doesn't know Hillary. It's about as likely, to quote those great philosophers from Wayne's World, what'd they say, if monkeys fly out my butt."
-- Paul Begala on CNN, March 25

"When it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never get up [sic]."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Philadelphia, April 1

"[Obama's] health care plan is the worst idea I've heard since New Coke."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Pittsburgh, April 10

"The way some of you people talk about her, you'd think she was Nurse Ratched."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton complaining to reporters about coverage of his wife's campaign, April 10

"If I could throw the ball the way Obama throws the bull, I'd be Joe Namath."
-- James Carville to George Stephanopolous, April 13

"Somebody should tell John McCain that the Iraq War is about as popular as the Edsel."
-- Hillary Clinton to Tim Russert, April 13

"Who is John McCain going to appoint as his energy secretary? J. R. Ewing?"
-- Hillary Clinton to Tim Russert, April 13

"When I see Senator Obama posing with Reverend Wright I think my opponent's judgment about ministers is what Billie Joe McAllister threw off the Tallahatchie Bridge."
-- Hillary Clinton to Tim Russert, April 13

"He's gobbling up air time like Pac-Man ... Next thing you know he'll turn up in the middle of the Dancing Itos."
-- Clinton pollster Mark Penn complaining to Chris Wallace about Barack Obama's ubiquitousness on TV and the Web, April 13

"He's such a comedian, he should go on Laugh-In."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton discussing John McCain's notoriously vulgar ten-year-old joke about his then-eighteen-year-old daughter Chelsea, April 16

"Maureen Dowd is so out there today she reminds me of the Log Lady. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
-- Pennsylvania governor and Clinton supporter Ed Rendell reacting to a New York Times column hostile to his candidate, April 17

"[Obama's] positions are harder to figure out than Rubik's Cube."
-- Hillary Clinton to Larry King, April 21

"To anyone who wants her to get out I say, and I'm quoting the Fonz here, 'Sit on it.'"
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton pointing his finger at reporters, April 23

"Not everybody wants to go out after a hard day on the job and attend a caucus. Some folks would rather stay home and pop a tape in the Betamax."
-- Clinton campaign spokesman Howard Wolfson complaining about the caucus system, April 23

"Breaker breaker one nine, I'm not quitting."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Chapel Hill, April 23

"These days loyalty is about as hard to come by as a Cabbage Patch Doll at Christmas."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton campaigning in Harrisburg, still ranting about Bill Richardson, April 24

"Next time E.T. phones home, I hope he tells them this election is far from over."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Raleigh, April 24

"You know, a lot of people act like Hillary has no right to keep running. Well, excuuuuuse meee! I mean, her."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton campaigning in Terre Haute, April 26

"Like Mr. T says, I pity the fool who thinks I'm leaving this race, Tim, even if I lose."
-- Hillary Clinton to Tim Russert, April 27

"[Obama's] earned the nomination the way Pia Zadora earned a Golden Globe."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton campaigning in Wheeling, April 28

"I've got some disappointing news for everyone who wants me to bow out before the convention. I am not about to twenty-three skidoo! Not even if I lose! Gag me with a spoon."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Guam, April 29

Addendum: The comments thus far (3pm EDT) compel me to point out that the dates, except for the first three quotes, are in the future. That means they haven't been uttered yet, and therefore are not real.

Comments

[Promise]

11:20 PM on 04/06/2008

I'm in the demographic group that is supposedly for Ms. Clinton---over 50, white woman. Yes, I know who Nurse Ratched is, also the Fonz and I remember Laugh In. Do I find any of this amusing? Does it convince me that she is "for me?' Naw! i think these pathetic attempts at being hip are vulgar. She is, tacky....whereas Obama is classy and doesn't have to demean himself with such nonsense. This is just another sad attempt to convince people that, in spite of her multi billion dollar fortune that she is "one of us." To which I say "Poo!" (not very hip but it's sincere!)

[CGrace]

06:38 PM on 04/06/2008

This just proves that the Clintons live in the past. Time to turn the page America.

[kellygrrrl]

06:10 PM on 04/06/2008

Livin' in the 90's - the new VH1 / Clinton Reality Show

[AnninCA]

03:09 PM on 04/06/2008

So your message is vote for the "cool" and "hip" marketing slogan?

And you wonder why American politics are all about marketing?

[Ariesjill]

04:51 PM on 04/06/2008

No...his message is, the lady is OUT OF TOUCH , has no real, INTERACTIVE involvement in anythIng outside her overweening, desperate, OBLITERATING, personal ambition....no intuitive acuity/vision (why she voted for the war)...and including even , none re the man she married. ... which was why she (and maybe another 11 humans) until the evidence came forth...believed him on Momica.

She is a fossil on manic overdrive. Is wut he means. And it is a very pithy and meaningful observation.

[emsique]

10:03 AM on 04/06/2008

I'm ready for the Betty Ford Clinic! As Bela Lugosi said in "Ed Wood", "I need my medicine."

[TheRealMacDaddy]

01:37 AM on 04/06/2008

The funniest part of the whole damn article IS...nothing in it (well, the future statements, that is) can even begin to rival the real stuff coming out of her mouth.

This woman is seriously on the verge of a mental breakdown...she can't even keep her own disinformation straight anymore or she just plain thinks Americans are stupid.

[joja]

08:46 AM on 04/06/2008

Exactly dead on straight.

Both the Clintons are headed for the Betty Ford Clinic after this one is over -- and not a moment too soon!

[Bozwellian]

09:35 AM on 04/06/2008

Uh FOLKS...YOU ARE FORGETTING HER TARGET AUDIENCE >>>>WOMEN AND THE ELDER GENERATION WHO DO CONNECT TO MUCH OF THEIR "HIPNESS" on parade so the JOKE once again is not quite what it appears, prepare perhaps for a "23 Skidoo" tossed in as well along the way...Remember, the YOUNG and INTELLECTUALS have gone OBAMA...Hillary /the Clintons appeal to the working class , the undeducated are culled deliberately--they won't be wise to the foolishness of checking out facts and have short attention spans due to daiy life requirements (such as trying to make a living, keep a roof , gather foodstuff and etc and inbetween, perhaps get in a game of bowling or shuffleboard or etc.....)

[Obamamo]

08:21 AM on 04/05/2008

Exactly! Hillary Lieberman Clinton is all about catch phrases, and let's not forget that every word that comes out of her mouth is a LIE.

[pinkyboo]

12:42 PM on 04/04/2008

"To anyone who wants her to get out I say, and I'm quoting the Fonz here, 'Sit on it.'"
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton pointing his finger at reporters, April 23

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

[kellygrrrl]

06:13 PM on 04/06/2008

who's "the Fonz" ;)

[Justtellthetruth]

11:55 AM on 04/04/2008

Nurse Ratched!!! FOTFLMAO!!

I WILL NOT be able to get that image out of my head whenever I see after this point.

[kellygrrrl]

06:14 PM on 04/06/2008

who's Nurse Ratched? ;)

[larry278]

09:27 AM on 04/04/2008

Whatever her Hillaryship is she (& her campaign) isn't hip or whatever URBAN DICTIONARY says has replaced hip on the streets. This 2 year campaign with all of this melo-drama has gone far past its sell by date. Those of us who are still interested are hopelessly addicted to politics junkies; but why be a progressive if you're not interested in politics. I will not speak for the fundie, right wingnut, reactionary bunch; their trolls can do that.

[Bozwellian]

09:53 AM on 04/06/2008

PLEASE TAKE NOTE: SHE IS PLAYING TO HER BASE CONSTIUENTS/supporters who "connect" to the referenced terms...that was THEIR "hip" time, that is what they nostalgically 'member as "cool".Too many wrapped themselves in NOSTALGIA, they "remember" the CLinton years only in GOOD GLOW while in reality it was NOT ALL GOOD /HAD MANY DOWNERS, in comparison to these Bushlerized reign, yeah, semi understandable but sure do wish they would get a rip and realize what IS at stake and a return of the CLintons to continue the SAME-O'd sort of governing ways but on steroids since precendents set in motion by the Bush/Cheney regime to have even LESS EXECUTIVE ACCOUNTABILITY coupled with values of PERSONAL LOYALTY over actual expertise to fill positions to carry out "the governances".Women ramped up to PROVE a point that fems are the equal have found themselves backing unfortunately a WRONG fem to be the first to hit the WH ceiling...(funny thing too to note, where women did only get the vote in the 1900's and blacks were actally given that right in the 1800's, suppression of BLACK VOTERS was PREVELENT /ALLOWED up to /including RECENT TIMES whereas women as a whole have been allowed to vote , have indeed had education ,job opportunities far above the stats showing lack of equality in such for black /other minority segments. Women HAVE come a long way, other minorities have too but still LAG in comparison ,THOSE ARE THE FACTS !!!)

[larry278]

05:58 PM on 04/06/2008

Nostalga might explain it but nostalga may not bring in enough votes to get the nomination in '08. Nostilga doesn't buy gasoline or pay an adjustable rate mortgage. Many women see that every day. As for loyalty-this is the USA. It's 2008. Boz, old shoe, has anyone told you that using UPPER CASE letters & salting them thru a comment often makes a comment difficult to read, makes points one wishes to make impossible to see & diminishes the effect of a comment? The Caps Lock can be turned off. BTW, WTF is your point or are your points? Have you tried to use Google to learn of acceptable & effective computer aided computer comp practice? It couldn't hurt. This ends my smamy screed.
larry lynch

[Purple Girl]

09:19 AM on 04/04/2008

They have decided we have All Developed ADD, we can't pay attention long enough to creat our own impressions.
Honestly with the recent Rash of People talking about how Americans have been Asleep- I have to wonder are the Consiracy theorist Right AGAIN....Fluoride in the Water (like Nazi Gemany ) to Dumb US Down . Tobacco is th ecounter Agent to it's Effects???
I've apologized to those I used to scoff at about their Views regarding the 'New World Order', I may owe them another Apology for this Accurate explanation Too
By the Way- Tell US More about those 15 boxes 'discovered ' in the Dallas Vault- have they been reviewed? Or have they been Destroyed?

[aceholiday]

07:51 AM on 04/04/2008

that's a good point. hillary does seem a bit like nurse ratched

[Heidfeld]

06:21 AM on 04/04/2008

Wow, I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the fact that so many Obama supporters can't figure out that this is a joke.

Where the future dates not enough of a hint? Was the content realistic at all?

To think that these people not only can vote, but are part of this movement that they think is somehow good for the country... I'm very affraid.

[rrafiringa]

08:45 AM on 04/04/2008

And yet Hillary supporters, are quick to attack Obama when he "jokes" about Hillary Clinton.

[rektruax]

01:01 PM on 04/06/2008

Yet you both will be crying in your beer when President McCain is inaugurated.

Funny how just a few months ago, a GOP win in '08 was out of the question. Once again, the Dems have a real chance, and once again they're blowing it.

[pooka]

11:57 PM on 04/03/2008

Hillary is sayin' and doin' and thinkin' and you knowin' her way through PA in the most condescending and insulting style of campaigning I have ever heard. I heard Obama speak in suburban Philadelphia on Tuesday night. He did not insult anyone's intelligence but soared and the crowd soared with him. Yes We Can!

[Promise]

11:29 PM on 04/06/2008

She is condescending. I think that one of her major faults (among many) is her stupidity. She really thinks that she can fool people with her nonsense. Maybe she could when she was younger..who knows? But people have grown up. We read, we think, we have the internet. "You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time." She just can't spin and lie forever and keep expecting folks to buy it. Her day, her strategy is soooooo last Century! If she listened to opposing opinions she might learn something but she, like Bush, doesn't want to expose herself to such negativity. Too bad...she lives in a plastic bubble which is quickly losing air.

[WillBFair]

08:54 PM on 04/03/2008

You people are so transparent. It's only a generational war for you. That's been obvious from the start. Like Nader's Traiters, you have no interest in knowledge or achievement. You live in a dream world constructed by Obama's deep voice, sing song delivery, and empty smears. And you alternate between states of mindless bliss and seething hatred. Quite pathetic.
Obama openly talks about 'old politics', although his only credible policies were adopted from the Clintons; and a 'new generation of leaders', while the rest of his policies are either far left cliches, like dictator parties, also known as the Darling Baby Lambkins Theory of Foriegn Policy, or uniting the country, while he uses republican smear tactics and his supporters throw mud like the Mississippi on meth.
You're still avoiding policy debate and rational discussion with your shallow insults.
Learn!

[Shozen]

09:38 PM on 04/03/2008

No Sir WillBFair I've seen Her achievements. Color me not impressed. I remember the Non Stop Democratic losses which BEGAN under the Clinton Administration. If the Clinton's had stayed true to the Democratic values of representing the common man, there would never have been any "Naders Traiters." I'm beyond the "mindless bliss" of treating the Clinton Years as a "Golden Age." As if NAFTA didn't happen and the White House was not treated like a "High Class" hotel. I'm well aware of the seething hatred the Republican Right will raise up from it's 1990's grave and feed into a zombie monster from hell should Clinton some how win the nomination. Thus I turn to Obama in hope, that just maybe, he will somehow not do that which I know would be done under a Clinton.

[ChiGuy]

12:22 AM on 04/04/2008

LOL!! You finish with a rant demanding policy debate and decrying shallow insults.

One question: Is your memory so short that you had forgotten the prior paragraph you wrote, or are you just the biggest hypocrite posting here??

Want substantive debate?
Tell Hillary that "kitchen sink" campaigning doesn't include the policy discussion you fraudulently demand.