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Paul Snyder

Paul Snyder

Posted: September 18, 2010 04:21 PM

There are a lot of funny opinions in politics. Some are provably false. Thanks Media Matters, thanks Snopes. But only the most unprovable, paranoid ideas become enshrined in the pantheon of genuine conspiracy theories. What is it about conspiracy theories -- the Kennedy assassination, Vince Foster, 9-11, the atheist conspiracy to destroy Christmas -- that transforms paranoia into legend?

Well, they do sound an awful lot like movie plots. (a, b, c, and now d) The following is not a fake trailer. The upcoming Christmas with a Capital C is the story of a concerned father, Ted McGinley, forced to defend his local Alaskan politics against religious tolerance. Daniel Baldwin, his atheist rival, is trying to win a political victory by manhandling children dressed as angels.

Some choice quotes from the trailer:

"Who filed this complaint, the Grinch?"

"Seasons Greetings?!"
"It works for everybody."
"It doesn't work for me."

"I do have a problem with Christmas. And all the rest of the garbage you Christians have been jamming down my throat." (...why does that sound familiar?)

"Just because God's out of vogue in the big city, doesn't mean we throw him away like last summer's fashion magazine."

"Christians happen to have started the United States of America!"

"Christmas starts with a capital C. Christ the Lord is the sound of Christmas."

Also recently, Tom Tancredo, currently running for Governor of Colorado, warned that Michelle Obama had abolished Christmas in the White House, in spite of copious evidence to the contrary. And Snopes.

For more entertaining and horrifying Christmas news, please visit christm.us.

 

Follow Paul Snyder on Twitter: www.twitter.com/christm_us

 
 
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02:51 AM on 09/22/2010
I'm sorry, but this comment is woefully inaccurate. "We are supposed to live in a country where church and state are mutually exclusive. Christianity has no place in it. As for the history, many of our founding fathers were not "exactly" Christians. They wanted that separation to keep themselves out of the politics of a "church of state," as had been the history of Christianity in Europe and England." The Founding Fathers dating back to the Mayflower compact were Christians whose writings espoused their Christian faith. Even Benjamin Franklin, who did not confess Christianity, called upon his compatriots to continue the prayerful traditions that had previously used throughout the foundational processes. The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution acknowledge God along with the Federalist papers and numerous other writings, and to a man it was acknowledged that, without morality and religion (Christianity) this American experiment would fail. Proposed laws had scripture basis and lawmakers had Bibles. That is historical fact. Our Nation and Christianity are inseparable. Denominational ism was to be prevented as with the Catholic Church in Europe. Now, as a Christian, I ask that you keep the facts straight. Then use your First Amendment rights to espouse your views regarding them. I welcome the debate, and will defend to the death your rights, Christian, Muslim, Hindu or otherwise as they are spelled out in the Constitution and laws, which by the way are founded on Biblical principals as evidenced by the public display of the Ten Commandments.
07:24 PM on 09/20/2010
So apparently wanting everyones beliefs to get equal treatment as much as possible in a public place in the holidays is villian worthy.

Also the 1st Ammendment in the US constitution is villian worthy according to this movie.

This is why people are tired of Christians pushing their beliefs on others.
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whomod
Saved By Grace
03:33 AM on 10/20/2010
No one is forcing you to celebrate what essentially is a Christian holiday.

CHRISTmas.. get it? Just because some people are hostile to Jesus Christ doesn't mean they get to usurp and co-opt it by merely X'ing out the CHRIST part of the equation.

I swear. it's not as if anyone is forcing you to pray or anything. People simply want the proper respect and acknowledgement given to why the day is even important to begin with. if that is too much for people, again, they why insist on observing it to begin with?
05:12 PM on 09/20/2010
Speaking of conspiricy theories, have you even SEEN the whole film or are you judging by a short trailer that was made for a specific targeted audience. You see I HAVE seen the whole film and it's nothing like you describe. I'm not going to give away the plot, but you're speaking from ignorance, not knowledge. I agree that the trailer is bad and badly misrepresents the thrust of the movie.
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Paul Snyder
10:48 PM on 09/20/2010
The film won't be released until November 2nd, so no, I haven't seen it. As far as I know, the first screening of the film was at the Values Voters Summit this weekend.

But this isn't a movie review. I don't presume in this article to know what the movie's actual plot is, I just described the events portrayed in the trailer. It does give away an awful lot, up to what seems like a very third-act event, the court ruling. I admit it was more a joke than summary when I mentioned Daniel Baldwin trying to grab the little girl in the angel costume, but it's pretty strange they put that in the preview. What a way to get votes!

Assuming the film is more family-oriented and less political than the trailer, most people probably *won't* see this entire movie, so the trailer is what they're putting out for us to see. That's the political statement they're making.
07:26 PM on 09/21/2010
In fairness, your description managed to bring humor to something that's more scary than funny.
01:08 PM on 09/20/2010
Christmas as we know it today did not exist until the second half of the nineteenth century. Before that the christian right of the day tried for decades to ban the celebration of Christmas because it was a pagan celebration. It was only after this failed that they decided to make it a "Christian" holiday. Christmas was not widely celebrated as a Christian holiday at the time of the founding of the United States of America or for a nearly a century afterward.

Once you acquaint yourself with a little bit of history the ridiculous demagoguery of the modern fox news Christmas warriors becomes simply laughable.
nanjemoy
first, check your satire-o-meter.
12:13 PM on 09/20/2010
If the Atheists stop the government from using public lands to display Christian messages, Christianity will be destroyed by the Muslims.

Finally, someone is willing to take the brave stand against the big-government extremists who want to take government out of Christianity.

With luck we can have politicians required to check with Christian leaders before enacting laws. Like we used to in the good old days.

You stay classy Alaska.
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kyosaku
Nothis non carborundum
09:53 PM on 09/21/2010
"If the Atheists stop the government from using public lands to display Christian messages, Christianity will be destroyed by the Muslims. "

That is a very thin assumption and quite unlikely. I don't think most of the Christians I know have the fortitude or self-discipline to properly observer Ramadan.

We are supposed to live in a country where church and state are mutually exclusive. Christianity has no place in it. As for the history, many of our founding fathers were not "exactly" Christians. They wanted that separation to keep themselves out of the politics of a "church of state," as had been the history of Christianity in Europe and England.

By the way which "Christian leaders" would you have our lawmakers checking in with, the Pope, Jimmy Swagart, televangelists, the local Episcopal Bishops or the James Joneses of the world?
ydrittmann
Vitter patronizes women.
12:13 PM on 09/20/2010
Brilliant casting. Daniel Baldwin is the brother who looks and sounds most like noted liberal Alec Baldwin. Fundamentalists won't even know the difference.
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SuePh
11:17 AM on 09/20/2010
Ugh, this brings back a bad memory. Last year, mid-December at the Chamber of Commerce holiday gathering, it happened that it was a local rabbi's turn to be the clergy person offering a blessing before the buffet. Or maybe it was no accident since Chanukkah was starting the next night. Whatever. The rabbi's a good guy, well-liked.

After lunch, we each had a turn to introduce ourselves, giving a short promo of our business and a generic 'Best of the Season/ Happy Holidays to our neighbors" speech.

Imagine how awful it was that a few of these prominent citizens went out of their way to say "Merry Christmas," sometimes while looking pointedly at our table (where the rabbi was sitting). One of the persons who did this was vice-president of local United Way!! Others simply stuck their chins out and glared around the room, so we would KNOW that they meant "Merry Christmas" the way that Bill O'Reilly meant "Merry Christmas."

It was plain nasty, the rudeness of those "conservatives."
I hope it hurt their respective businesses.
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Slacktoo
Oh, grow up, OO7
09:11 AM on 10/06/2010
I'm an atheist, but honestly, I enjoy a good, hearty "Merry Christmas" instead of a bland and generic "happy holidays" and "best of the season". Those citizens that went out of their way to smugly say the greeting to the Rabbi are probably jerks, but in general the "Merry Christmas" greeting is well-meaning and cheerful. If I were greeting folks at that gathering, I'd have probably said "Happy Hanukkah, merry Christmas and happy New Year to everyone." Generic greetings, especially at this time of year, just don't cut it for me.
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whomod
Saved By Grace
03:39 AM on 10/20/2010
Yep. Completely agree.

When i hear "happy holidays" I automatically assume someone is trying to sell me something and thus want to remain as completely bland and without a point as possible.

Before you know it, "happy Holidays" will also have one of those DVD commentary disclaimers underneath it. "The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the opinions of ____".
11:16 AM on 09/20/2010
Straight to DVD. This is going to be a big stocking stuffer this holiday season in bagger households all over the country.

I can't wait for "Chanuka With a Capital C...or H If You Prefer That Spelling", "Ramadan With a Capital R", "Diwali With a Capital D", " Paryushana With a Capital P"...I could go on forever.
11:13 AM on 09/20/2010
The amazing thing is that Jesus was not born on Dec. 25 . The 25th was a pagan holiday take over by the church. In fact a few church celebrate his birthday on Jan. 6th. So why not make the 25th a secular holiday. Put the celebration of Jesus's birthday on Jan 6th. Oh i just realized that I am now part of the anti Christmas conspiracy. Better to be tarred with the brush of a conspiracy than living in complete ignorance.
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Matt Herren
"Human action is purposeful behavior."
11:00 AM on 09/20/2010
Of course it's Jefferson Darcy and Stephen Baldwin.
ydrittmann
Vitter patronizes women.
12:14 PM on 09/20/2010
Daniel Baldwin. Keenan Ivory Baldwin was unavailable.
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larmarch5
10:48 AM on 09/20/2010
"Christmas" is a totally made up Pagan celebration focused on gluttony, drunkedness, and false idols.  Not that that is a bad thing.
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dagmaclugh39
Nomen est omen.
11:40 AM on 09/20/2010
Faved, lar! You're off to a wicked start, this week....
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Fnordpocalypse
THEY LIVE - WE SLEEP
10:28 AM on 09/20/2010
The only thing working against the true spirit of Christmas are the retailers who have made the season about spending money not about spending time with family.
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whomod
Saved By Grace
03:35 AM on 10/20/2010
THANK YOU!

F&F.

We're supposed to be observing the birth of Jesus and instead we now seem to be openly worshiping Mammon instead.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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10:07 AM on 09/20/2010
bully for them

emphasis on bully
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JoeTroll
Prove your own claims. I'm not your intern.
09:55 AM on 09/20/2010
Right, sure, America hates Christmas. That's why we spend two months out of every year anticipating it.
goatboyslim
It's a good day to die,but I prefer to wait
09:44 AM on 09/20/2010
I noticed they didn't give Daniel Baldwin credit in the trailer; I'll bet they want people to think it's Alec, who they already think is Satan. And no matter how thoroughly we scrub Christmas from the public welfare roles, we're all still subsidizing it with our tax dollars through their tax-exempt status.