Three Things To Do When You Don't Know What To Do

Change is never is easy, and making important changes in your life is even harder. It takes time, commitment and courage.

It takes energy to change and there can be many false starts. Money, the people in your life or a string of obligations can all be a drag on your determination. These are only a few of the obstacles that you may encounter if you know you are stuck in a life that has less shimmer and glow than you had hoped for.

When we interviewed Boomers for our book (The Hourglass Solution), we discovered that many Boomers were stuck -- but only a few had any idea of what might make them happy. A lucky few had an epiphany and knew what they must do to realize their dreams.
But for most of us, we have to build our own GPS. Most of us have no idea what we want to do and no clue about where to turn. We just don't have a clear vision of what we would really like to do, or who we might like to be. Instead, we try to think we are "happy enough."

Unfortunately, there is the constant and disturbing feeling that there is something missing. Sometimes we sense that "there must be something more." But we have taught ourselves to push that thought away. We run away from change because we simply don't know what kind of life would be satisfying.

If this sounds familiar, then the first thing you need to do is expand your notion of what is possible. Often we set limits on our imagination by unconsciously censoring ourselves and rejecting alternatives based on pre-conceived ideas or previous experiences that may no longer be relevant. Here are three things to try that may help you to open your mind to some new fantasies, and who knows where that can lead. They are small first steps that anyone can do. They cost nothing and won't rock your boat but they may open some doors that have been "stuck" for a long time.

1) Start a "Change Notebook"
Nothing crazy, just a place to put anything that strikes your fancy. It could be an article in a magazine about something you find interesting or a place you might like to visit. Maybe it's a new restaurant down the road that you read about or maybe it's a story about a farming community in France. It could be a piece of fabric that you think is beautiful. Maybe a postcard of a painting you saw -- or a couple of sentences on a conversation you thought was amusing. It could be a recipe; it could be a ribbon; or a photograph or the name of a book you would like to read. Include observations you make about your town, or about the world. Keep collecting and in a month or two or three it may reveal an idea that hadn't surfaced before.

2) Change One Small Thing in Your Daily Routine
Go for a walk every morning, or give up meat for a month, or use e-mail instead of the phone, or stand on your head for 60 seconds every day. Go to a different supermarket or wear a hat. Or don't wear a hat or a watch. Small changes reveal where and why we are stuck in places that may surprise you.

3) Put Yourself in the Way of Different Experiences
For a month or two, do anything that crosses your path that you would have previously rejected. For example, if think you hate hiking but someone asks you to take a hike: do it anyway. Same with cycling, yoga class or Thai food. If you think you will hate it, try it anyway. Visit someone in a hospital or go to an opera. It doesn't matter what it is. Make it a point to talk to people you have never talked to before and introduce yourself in a different way. The idea is to open yourself to experiences you have avoided in the past -- not because you are likely to discover a sudden passion for yoga or opera but because in opening new doors, other things are likely to happen.

These are not answers -- they are fire-starters. They will help you change the way you think about your life in ways that will end up being more important than you can imagine now. The first step doesn't need to be the hardest step: just take it.

Follow at least one of the ideas discussed above, and then you are ready to read The Hourglass Solution: A Boomer's Guide to the Rest of Your Life. Buckle your seat belt. The adventure is about to begin.

Follow Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jeffjohnxx