White House Damage Check

It was wise of Obama to bring all of those former Presidents together, if for no other reason, to do a walk through of the White House, so that he doesn't get blamed for any damage already done.

I've never seen the first family's living quarters. Oh, there's been a holiday special or two where Laura Bush or somebody takes you through the home, with a holiday smile, but surely we're not seeing the real deal. Someone has obviously snatched the underwear off the Stair Master just before they gave the television viewers a peek.
If there's any place that has plenty of art to hang over unsightly holes in the walls or soda spills on the carpet, it's the White House. It's suspicious when there's an unflattering portrait, like Mamie Eisenhower in curlers, hanging only 1.5 feet off the floor.

There's been a lot of tenants in that place. There's got to have been a lot of wear and tear: orange hair dye, that Reagan never used, around the sink; fuzz from Carter's sweaters in the vents. Are you gonna tell me that Amy Carter never colored on the walls? A little girl in a house with a blue room?

I have cats of my own. Is it possible that Socks didn't tear up something like an ottoman hand stitched by Dolly Madison? Or that one of the Bushes happy hunting dogs didn't chew the legs off of a duck that Teddy Roosevelt stuffed all by himself?

George Bush Senior threw up on the head Japanese guy. Do you think he hasn't ralphed in the Oval Office? The shape alone could throw of a guy's equilibrium. They should check the rug.

Would you be surprised it they found peep holes drilled in the walls of the master bath or "Tennessee sucks," etched behind the Zachary Taylor portrait? I wouldn't.
These new tenants should photo-document every square inch of that place, before they sign a thing. I don't even think putting down shelf paper would be a waste of Michelle's time, at this point.

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Comments

[in4success]

it's the peep holes and "shaddow gov" surveillance wired in over the past eight years that have me worried most.

[fedupwiththis]

Check the publication date, not the masthead. This is the original story! That the Times reprinted it just proves Clavis's point. The old saw "Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see" was never better advise.

[ThinkCreeps]

It's outside the WH that the damage has been done. Vermin don't usually foul their own nests.

[offred]

Someone please be sure to get Dick Cheney's copies of the White House keys. We don't want him sneaking back in in the dark of night to reminisce about good times in the White House dungeon.

[tobyjack]

I would worry more about hidden listening devices and other bugs. It would be a good idea to bring in independent experts to sweep the place before the Obama's move in.

[letstakeawalk]

Will all the "O"s be removed from the keyboards and telephones, like the "W"s were during the last transition?

[Clavis]

Turns out that never happened. Like most rumors spread by the Bush Administration, it was bull. The official investigatory agency (I forget the acronym) looking into the matter published a perfunctory document that essentially said "We have found ZERO evidence that any of the supposed vandalism actually took place, but the administration wanted us to conduct an investigation and release a document, so here you go."

The fact that the story is still taken as fact by our "mainstream media" tells you all you need to know about the ruthlessness with which right-wingers promote their agitprop...

[biggduude]

Wrong:

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0CEFDE163CF931A25755C0A9649C8B63