Add Friction to Facilitate Change

We all like smooth sailing, for things to go just right, without any friction. And, yet, friction can be a nice wake-up call. Gurdjieff encouraged his students to give up "something valuable" but "not forever," in order to create a constant "friction between a 'yes' and a 'no'" (1). So, create friction as a wake-up call to your mind and raise your tolerance for friction. Every day quit something that you like but can easily live without. Make entirely arbitrary choices: avoid any kind of logical rationalization. We are not talking about wellness, but about awareness. Commit to a timeline of no more than a couple of weeks. Here's the key: feel free to break the commitment any time, as long as this is done via a conscious choice. This isn't an exercise in self-mortification, but an opportunity to practice de-programming and re-programming yourself. Say, you decide not to use your favorite coffee mug for a couple of weeks. As you reach for it in the morning and experience a moment of friction, you'll have a moment of what Gurdjieff called self-remembering. You'll appreciate yourself as the programmer: "That's right, I used to mindlessly reach for this cup and now I am mindfully resisting this urge in order to remind myself of the fact that I am in charge of my own programming. I am following my own "should" now!" Ponder how adding friction may facilitate whatever behavioral/change objective you are currently working on.

Pavel Somov, Ph.D. is the author of "Eating the Moment" (New Harbinger, 2008), "Present Perfect" (NH, 2010), and "The Lotus Effect" (NH, 2010). He is in private practice in Pittsburgh, PA. For more information visit www.eatingthemoment.com and sign up for Pavel Somov's monthly "Mindful-not-Mouthful" Newsletter

References:
1. P. Ouspensky, 2000, p. 45

 

Follow Pavel Somov, Ph.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/eatingthemoment