By now we've all read the headlines about Tyler Clementi. Tyler, a freshman at Rutgers, told his RA he was being bullied by his fellow students. He then posted a cry for help on Facebook, telling his friends that he planned to kill himself. And then Tyler, a shy, brilliant violinist and gay teen, ended his life on Wednesday.
Sadly, this isn't a random tragedy. A pattern is occurring and we need to shine a light on it: Gay teens are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than straight teens, according to a 2007 Massachusetts youth risk survey. Why? Partly because they are being bullied relentlessly at their schools--whether it's middle school, high school or college. In fact, nine out of ten gay teens report being bullied, according to a survey by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN).
This is staggering. And unacceptable.
From a communications perspective, what can we do?
First, let's flesh out what's going on: Anti-gay bullying has a lot of layers. Some of it comes from a place of true hatred or homophobia. But our research shows that a lot of it is unintentional: Most teens don't realize that their words (such as "that's so gay") are hurtful and can escalate a situation, leading to more overt verbal and physical bullying. Our PSA campaign with GLSEN -- Think Before You Speak -- aims to combat the unintentional use of anti-gay language. But it has to be finessed: you can't tell teens what to by lecturing. The PSAs try to convey that their seemingly mindless words can make someone feel degraded or far far worse.
Teens aren't the only problem here. We all have a role to play. We--as educators, parents, peers, co-workers and friends--need to intervene. Somehow, we have collectively created a culture where Tyler felt he had no choice but to end his life.
Suicide and bullying are incredibly complex interrelated problems and we can't solve this overnight. But we can all make a difference by not tolerating hurtful words. By talking about it with our friends, families and yes, even strangers, the next time you hear someone say "that's so gay." In fact, why not take it a step further and sign the pledge or get materials to help share the message.
Gareth Higgins: Tyler Clementi's Death: We're All Part of the Problem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0u7M5fR6Hk
This one is the first I saw but if you put It Gets Better in a youtube search, you'll find a lot of them. All moving and inspiring.
Did his parents know he was gay? Did they support him?
Those are the questions we should ask.
The most secure people are those who know they are loved and accepted by the people who matter the most...their parents, it doesn't matter who you are if you didn't feel the love from your parents, i bet you're broken even if you try to hide it.
At the end of the day(even as kids, all we wanted was for our parents to love us). When you know you are loved, it doesn't matter what other people say or think cause they don't matter. If this kid felt he was loved he would have had his roommate kicked out, with the help of his parents(why didn't he turn to them?)
Parents play a huge role in their children's lives that doesn't end when the kid turns eighteen...the kid doesn't ask to be born, you want it, so take care of it cause kids without their parent's love, well they end up like this.
It's easy not to blame the bullies; that let's them off the hook. Still this boy was harassed in his own dorm room, complained to others, and got no help. His most intimate acts were filmed and distributed by the person he had to live with (and why don't we ask why his "straight" roommate was so interested in watching his roommate get it on with men?) He had nowhere to go on campus to feel safe.
No one points a finger at religion and the business (a VERY profitable business) of anti-gay hate that is shielded by their "love of Jesus".
It's time to take this to the same pulpits and preachers responsible for the onslaught of bile and condemnation that emanates from their podiums. The daily lies parroted by their congregations and promoted by Focus on the family and American Family Association.
The gloves are off. Kids are dying and in these churches lies the real problem. Some Christians are just disgusting people and deserve to be called out of their part in this poisonous atmosphere that they themselves have created. Eddie Long is a perfect example of the duplicity of so many of these religious "leaders". Do as they say (especially if they live as emperors in their multi-million dollar estates, as Long does) Organized religion is a poisonous detriment to society.
Churches and stupid religious people who wouldn't know Christ if he rang their door bell seem to demonize, vilify and exploit fear of gay people to line their pockets and drive the stupid and hateful to the polls and collection plates.
"WE" didn't create this culture, greed and religion did.