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Dr. Peggy Drexler
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Dr. Peggy Drexler, Author, Our Fathers Ourselves. Daughters, Fathers, And The Changing American Family

You can reach me through this Web site: www.peggydrexler.com

I am an Assistant Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry, Weill Medical College of Cornell University and former Gender Scholar at Stanford University.

I’ve spent my career studying sex and gender: men and women, boys and girls, and how they come together in families. As the concept of family continues to pass through a time of stress and redefinition, my research has taken me deep into their lives. I’ve explored who they are, what they want, and how they are changing. It’s been a fascinating journey.

I’ve had a life-long interest in how children are affected and shaped by their relationships with the men and women in their families. I’ve looked at how these early associations influence how they live, work and love– and how content they are with the adults they have become.

Our Fathers Ourselves. Daughters, Fathers, And The Changing American Family is about the changing connection between fathers and daughters. (Rodale, May 10, 2011). Using my personal story, research, and the first person stories of the many women I’ve interviewed, the book examines the state of a powerful bond in a time of unbridled female choice and opportunity. It explores how daughters can enhance the bond, and even recreate it, by breaking through the roles and assumptions of the past.

My first book was the much discussed, Raising Boys Without Men. It introduced readers to boys in single and two-mother families. The book earned wide praise and was a finalist for a Books for a Better Life Award and a Lamda Literary Award.

I’ve been fortunate to share my ideas and findings in a variety of academic settings, including presentations at Harvard Law School and Harvard Medical School.

I’ve also appeared on and written for a wide range of national and international media, including: The Today Show, Good Morning America, NPR, New York Times, USA Today, Good Housekeeping and Parents magazines. My blogs appear regularly on Huffington Post.

Blog Entries by Dr. Peggy Drexler

The Breadwinner Complex: Are Women Apologizing For Earning More Than Their Husbands?

(677) Comments | Posted May 18, 2013 | 9:35 AM

Before Lori and James's second son was born last fall, they devised a plan. After her short maternity leave, Lisa would return to work as a tech consultant while James would quit his job as a lawyer to stay home with the boys. "We knew that we wanted one of...

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Why Go Back to Work After the Baby

(694) Comments | Posted May 11, 2013 | 11:18 AM

Julie always expected she'd quit her job as a technical recruiter as soon as she and her husband, Billy, had kids. Her mom had been a stay-at-home, and so were most of her friends. But once their first child, Mia, was born, Julie began to rethink the notion. Mia was...

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Parent Fail: How to Talk to Kids About Your Own Setbacks

(20) Comments | Posted May 4, 2013 | 11:23 AM

Joanna had known for months that her job was in jeopardy. As creative director of a well-read city magazine, she was under tremendous pressure to create magazine covers that sold well on the newsstand and sparked advertiser interest. And although she didn't believe the fault was entirely hers, sales for...

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Disciplining Without Shaming

(290) Comments | Posted April 24, 2013 | 10:22 AM

9-year-old Harry knew his mother's rules, as age-old as the act of parenting itself: No ball playing in the house. And yet he couldn't seem to help himself. Again and again, his mother, Lisa, would find Harry tossing a baseball in their small galley kitchen or kicking around a soccer...

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Men 2020

(1903) Comments | Posted April 13, 2013 | 10:00 AM

Change for women over the last decade is in the books. Roles have transformed. Opportunities have exploded. And a future of choice and empowerment is locked in.

For men, that future is a lot less certain.

A time of female transformation has been a time of male accommodation. The adjustment...

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The Poetry of Women's Work

(22) Comments | Posted April 10, 2013 | 3:44 PM

The bed and desk both want me.
The windows, the view, the idea of Paris.

With my minutes, I chip away at the idiom,
an unmarked pebble in a fast current.

-- Rachel Zucker, from "After Baby After Baby"

I've never liked the term "working...

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The Queen Bee's Deadliest Weapon: Gossip

(287) Comments | Posted April 4, 2013 | 9:19 AM

Alex, a paralegal at a large firm, knew that her female department mates had been talking about her. Though she was the newest hire among them, she'd recently gotten a small promotion, which had been announced at an all-staff meeting. Since then, she felt as if the other paralegals had...

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Girl Power -- But at What Cost?

(379) Comments | Posted March 23, 2013 | 11:41 AM

In the final, hyper-violent scene of the movie Kick-Ass, Hit-Girl, a 10-year-old vigilante in a purple wig played by Chloe Grace Moretz takes down more than a dozen armed men using two shot guns and a variety of exotic fighting techniques. As Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation" plays in the background,...

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Les femmes ne sont peut-être pas les meilleurs patrons, mais ce ne sont pas non plus les meilleures employées

(0) Comments | Posted March 22, 2013 | 12:34 PM

Depuis 20 ans, Amanda est une recruteuse très demandée pour des entreprises de technologie, et depuis peu, elle assure la supervision d'une douzaine d'autres recruteurs. Recruter peut se révéler très compétitif - la plupart des recruteurs sont payés à la commission - mais c'est aussi un travail de...

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Women Might Not Be the Best Bosses... But They're Not the Greatest Employees, Either

(596) Comments | Posted March 20, 2013 | 2:41 PM

Amanda has been an in-demand recruiter for tech companies for twenty years, most recently as a supervisor to a dozen other recruiters. Recruiting can be highly competitive -- most work strictly on commission -- but also collaborative. She's often helped co-workers, as well as her reports, find leads, and they've...

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Why Kids Lie

(76) Comments | Posted March 16, 2013 | 10:43 AM

Eight-year-old Henry lied about everything. It absolutely infuriated his mother, Sophie, if mostly because she couldn't figure out why he was doing it. Some of the lies she understood, as they'd clearly been issued to avoid mild trouble or reprimand, like the lies about whether he'd made his bed or...

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Career Women and the New Definition of Success

(92) Comments | Posted March 11, 2013 | 2:35 PM

When I met Sandy, a rising executive at a big-time digital media company, she had two children under two years old. She had been climbing ladders for more than a decade -- since the day she left college, basically -- but she still loved every minute of it. Sure, she...

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When It's Ok to Lie to Kids -- And When It's Not

(210) Comments | Posted March 2, 2013 | 9:25 AM

Nine-year-old Joshua was being, as his mom described, "a bit of a jerk." Over dinner after the first day of their week-long ski trip he told her, actually, he didn't really like skiing, even though they'd been skiing together for years. Even though just a few hours earlier he'd been...

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What to Do With Kids Over Spring Break: Absolutely Nothing

(150) Comments | Posted February 23, 2013 | 2:58 PM

Vacation week was drawing to a close -- and Jamie couldn't be more ecstatic. She felt guilty, but she was desperate for her boys, six and nine, to go back to school. Their week had been a nonstop parade of activity: bowling, ice-skating, play dates, lunches out, family games, family...

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Problem Child

(250) Comments | Posted February 16, 2013 | 8:10 AM

Jill remembers the very first time Ben got called to the principal's office. The kindergarteners were standing in line waiting for the bus home when Ben pushed a classmate to the ground. Then he encouraged a few of the other kids to start kicking. The boy wasn't down for long...

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Bringing Your Work Home: The Psychology of Studying Your Family

(19) Comments | Posted February 9, 2013 | 10:23 AM

Click here to read an original op-ed from the TED speaker who inspired this post and watch the TEDTalk below.

Back in the early days of my psychology practice, I remember hearing new mothers talk about the challenges of becoming a new parent. While I was...

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A Great Time to Be Gay? That Depends

(262) Comments | Posted February 6, 2013 | 2:36 PM

By most measures, it's never been a better time to be gay. But all the encouraging steps toward a more accepting America may not mean much when you're called "faggot", and slammed into a locker.

Polling shows that America has never been on better terms with sexual diversity -- from...

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Why Kids and Religion Mix

(491) Comments | Posted February 2, 2013 | 8:30 AM

Sam's parents like to say their son was eight when he found God, no real thanks to them. The family was sitting down to dinner one Tuesday evening when Sam asked if they might go around and talk about what each person was thankful for. Sam's mother, Nora, thought this...

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Ne faisons pas encore une croix sur les hommes

(1) Comments | Posted February 1, 2013 | 9:54 AM

Durant des années, j'ai bu avec application huit verres d'eau par jour. On m'avait dit que c'était bon pour moi. Je n'ai jamais vraiment su qui me l'avait dit, ni pourquoi. Je découvre aujourd'hui que c'était simplement une vague recommandation d'un rapport gouvernemental de 1945 ; lequel déclarait aussi que l'essentiel...

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Don't Write Men Off Just Yet

(1363) Comments | Posted January 29, 2013 | 12:29 PM

For many years, I faithfully drank eight glasses of water a day. I was told it was good for me. I never really knew who first said that, or why. Now I find out that it's just a rough guideline from a 1945 government report; which also pointed out that...

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