Maybe Michelle Obama did tell France's First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy that life in the White House is "hell", and she "can't stand" her job. But then maybe the rapid-response denials from both sides of the Atlantic are true, and she said no such thing.
The more I see her -- or don't see her -- on the national stage I have to wonder. Almost two years into the job, "hell" and "can't stand it" might be a perfectly reasonable way to describe life as an immensely talented woman whose highest contribution is to keep her talents on simmer, and her contributions well within the safe precincts of kids and families.
Recalling the catch phrase of a long-ago game show: Will the real Michelle Obama please stand up? More to the point: can the real Michelle Obama please stand up? Maybe the answer is no. Maybe it's not yet.
The first paragraph of her page on the White House web site repeats her stump line that "first and foremost, she is Malia and Sasha's mom."
It's not until the fourth paragraph do we get to the part about Princeton, Harvard Law, and a spot in one of Chicago's most prestigious law firms, where -- let's take it back to the home front -- she "met the man who would become the love of her life." (Unmentioned: he was a summer intern and she was assigned as his mentor.)
There is certainly nothing wrong with being a mother first. I would describe myself the same way. The difference is that I could take my kids outside without large men with guns escorting us to a bullet-proof car.
I have to assume that being a mother guiding two young women through the cynosure of a White House adolescence can't be the same as it is for the rest of us.
The presumed trade off would be a seat next to the seat of the most powerful man on earth. Except that for public consumption, her seat appears to be unoccupied. With her husband's public approval chained at the neck to an intractable economy, she can't afford to do anything that would create a point of attack.
Raising healthy children, supporting military families, and helping young people to achieve life balance through diet and exercise will hardly throw off the kind of heat that melts approval ratings.
Those who expected a First Lady with clout to match her personality and pedigree quickly noted her -- to borrow a headline from Salon -- "momification".
Writing in More magazine, Geraldine Brooks captured the schizophrenic essence of her position; noting a stirring modern woman's success story on one hand, but on the other a "depressingly retrograde narrative of stifling gender roles and frustrating trade-offs."
History is cautionary on first ladies who step too boldly to the spotlight. New First Lady Hillary Clinton never fully recovered from famously promising she wasn't going to stay home and bake cookies. Opening that door brought a back draft of recrimination from those who believed she should stay home -- or at least be demure enough not to throw the cookies in America's face.
How far have we come in the expectations for a woman who -- no matter how much she contributed to the campaign -- is perceived as getting her job by marriage? To be factored in, of course, are Sarah Palin and her "mama grizzlies" prowling the camp perimeter, waiting to charge at any hint of values out of step with their own.
We're two years past the initial reaction to "momification" by the Obama handlers. If it is indeed an assigned role, she has hit her marks and delivered her lines flawlessly -- not once stepping out of character. Her only stumble was taking an expensive (but personally paid) Mediterranean vacation with her daughter Sasha in a down economy.
A dip in the polls aside, she was and is a political asset. But like all political assets, value is sensitive to timing. For now, for her, Washington may feel like Stepford on the Potomac. But economies heal, presidential approval ratings rise, elections pass, and second-term first ladies have a lot more room to be all they can be.
I believe that the real Michelle Obama will stand up. And I believe she will be different from the one we've seen so far.
But this is a vibrant, supposedly brilliant person, who has been relegated to trying to grow tomatoes and focusing on exercise for children. Both great things but maybe not big enough projects for a Harvard lawyer? Nothing wrong with pointing that out.
She is doing what Laura Bush did. Supporting her husband and keeping her mouth shut at least in public. Once Obama is out of the White House we will find out what she thought about the whole experience. Much as we did with Mrs. Bush.
Finally, I disagree with the writer about one point. Hillary Clinton seems to have recovered quite well from her "steeping too boldly" into the spotlight. She would BE the President right now were it not for all the Goldman Sachs money that flew into candidate Obamas campaign. Not knocking Obama for that. I voted for him and donated to him during the election. Just pointing out that I think this writer chose the wrong example to endorse the "lay low" techinique.
It's a shame this job is so locked in traditional gender roles. I think these women could do a lot more to inspire our girls. The fact that they can't says a lot more about our voting public than it does about them.
So, I suppose Michelle Obama should not take her daughter on trips overseas at her own expense because others cannot afford to go. You are repeating a made up fake controversy. Please tell me what office Michelle Obama was elected to. She came out and said childhood obesity would be her focus and dang if the right didn't go nuts about the government telling you what to eat. They had no problem with Nancy telling them not to do drugs but big, big problem with MO.
The constant criticism of this family frankly is quite ridiculous and old.
Jackie Kennedy didn't get (to be) it; Nancy Reagan didn't. Hilary Clinton didn't. No wife of a political figure; no political figure, gets to be "themselves." It's naive for anyone to expect otherwise.
The best you have is to let your policies reflect your principles, ergo: Liberalism. (Republicans don't appear to have principles; they vote where the gain is). When you get elected you represent, as much as possible, all your constituents.
This is why when she was criticized for her (gorgeous) bare arms, Michelle covered up. And although Hilary took flak for using a hyphenated last name, she pulled back on some of her agendas as FLOTUS, including Healthcare reform.
I do not believe the Michelle Obama who is as cautious in her speech as her husband is would ever confide in a First Lady of another country even if she despised every minute of being first lady. There is nothing whatsoever in her past deportment that indicates that she would be so careless. However, there is much to be despised about living in a bubble with your every blink and every sigh critiqued. How would you feel about wild eyed drooling teabaggers with their nasty racists sign showing up outside your childrens school screaming obscenities? Would you love getting death threats daily against yourself, your spouse, and your children? The list goes on and on. My guess is that no one loves being First Lady as there is little to love about it but Micelle Obama has been an outstanding First Lady within the most toxic environment that any first lady has ever faced.
Remember "CHOICE", ladies?
so, even if are close to her personally you won't ever know and neither will we....and the same things could be said about our parents, shildren siblings and spouses) , you're not discussing a very useful exercise in the world as it exists.
Then she came out with her unpassionate "Let's Move" campaign; I think because it wasn't her first love, and she's doing this in relation to health care, I don't see any passion in her when she speaks about it.
Then we don't see her for awhile, then we see them on vacation in MA, and she's hardly every with her husband, she's either alone or with one of the children.
Then they return, and we don't see her again.
I do believe there is trouble there. I don't wish that on anyone, but that's my belief.
Michelle Obama has taken on causes that require the action of Americans, but that cannot be mandated. She has picked good goals, and is using her abilities to their best.
I don't know what "new" role people think she should take on, but until Michelle Obama gets elected, on her own, I'm not supportive of her being given political assignments.