When my wife and I got married we wrote our own vows. I carefully crafted mine on the morning of the wedding on that piece of cardboard which comes in the package of new underwear. It was an A-Z list of reasons I love my wife. A lot has changed since 2000. So without further ado, I am relaunching an updated Dadmissions list 2.0 of "Reasons I love my wife":
A- Axe body spray- My wife sticks with me even when I apply the Axe body spray like a bug bomb fumigation in our bedroom. Not my fault -- it's supposed to be irresistable.
B- Bat Mitzvanera- My wife sticks with me even when I try to convince her we should one day combine the girls' quinceaneras and their Bat Mitzvahs into one Bat Mitzvanera.
C- Cleanliness- My wife sticks with me despite the beard clippings in the sink, the razor I hide above the bathroom mirror and the random things tossed around the house.
D- Driver's License- My wife stuck with me even when I mistakenly washed her learner's permit in the washing machine so she missed her exam and missed out on a new job.
E- Eating in the car- My wife sticks with me even though I eat in the car, drop chips on the seat and invariably leave my lunch container, which stinks up the car overnight.
F- Facebook- My wife sticks with me despite my growing addiction to Facebook and likes to remind me that she was Dadmissions' first ever fan. #1 Fan.
G- Gas- My wife sticks with me despite the obvious. It's a guy thing. Nothing more to say here.
H- Hickory Farms- Each year for the holidays, she surprises me with the one thing I always wanted... One of those little Hickory Farms trays with crackers, salami and other good stuff.
I- iPad- The gift my wife wishes she never bought me because I spend so much time on it. This is where all the Dadmissions and online posts originate. She still loves me.
J- Jimmy Choo- OK points for me here -- I bought her a pair a couple of years ago. Yep.
K- Kimmel- Jimmy Kimmel -- My wife sticks with me even though I arrive home from work at midnight, turn on the TV in the bedroom and laugh with Jimmy Kimmel Live!
L- Lakers- My wife sticks with me even though she is a die-hard Lakers fan and I am a die-hard Celtics fan and the Celtics have one more championship banner so booyah!
M- M&Ms: My wife sticks with me even though I could pop peanut M&M's all night long.
N- Nails- I don't clip them. I tear them. It's a thing I do. My wife looks the other way.
O- Old Spice- My grandpa used it and 100 years later, I use it. My wife forgives me.
P- Parenting- My wife sticks with me even though I have the parenting skills of a Magic 8 ball... "Dad can I have that"? 8-ball answer: "Could be."
Q- Queazy- I get queazy when the girls mention body parts and boys. Wife still sticks with me anyway, despite the dad shortcomings
R- Rocky- Rocky III to be specific -- my wife stuck with me even though I asked her if we could watch Rocky III in the birthing room on the TV while she was waiting to deliver Alicia.
S- Sweatpants- See my post on the brotherhood of the traveling sweatpants. My wife stays with me even when I go out with my favorite tattered, torn and ripped sweats.
T- Teeth- My wife stuck with me even when I tripped while carrying a speaker, fell into her and chipped her tooth.
U- Underwear- My wife sticks with me despite the fact that I have a pair of boxers with a shark that says "bite me," and another Santa holiday pair that says "ho ho ho."
V- Vienna Fingers- My wife stuck with me even though I lost my wedding ring for three weeks in a half-eaten package of Vienna Fingers cookies.
W- Work- My wife sticks with me even though I work wacky hours and am permanently attached to my Blackberry.
X- X-ray vision- I don't have it. I don't have ANY super powers. My wife still loves me.
Y- Yoga- My wife sticks with me even though I make fun of her yoga, her yogurt, and any of the other healthy things starting with "y."
Z- Zen- My wife sticks with me even though the best Zen I can offer her is a bottle of Pinot Noir and the remote control to watch Lifetime.