John McCain's Casting Couch

I've always disliked casting meetings. Prepping a movie is an engaging process, but picking the right actor for the right role is downright frustrating.

For one thing, there's always somebody in the meeting who thinks he has the magic answers. He knows who is destined for stardom. Then there's the director, who looks smart but can't make up his mind.

I was thinking about this process the other day when I learned that John McCain had held his casting session and selected his star -- a woman named Sarah Palin. McCain and Palin have had only one substantive conversation, it seems, but he concluded she was right for the role. Or maybe that's what his casting director told him.

I would imagine the McCain casting process went roughly like this:

McCain: I've got a big problem here. My prospective running mates are about as exciting as a Senate debate. They couldn't keep a Rotary Club awake.

Casting Director: I hear you. You need an unknown. Maybe your show needs a female lead.

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McCain: Cindy is my female lead.

Casting Director: So we find a second lead. She should have looks, but not celebrity looks, like Barack.

McCain: : She should suggest 'values.' And still have charisma. Someone like Hillary. But not like Hillary.

Casting Director: An Annette Bening type. Annette has lots of kids, but you'd never know it.

McCain: But we need someone with Middle America kids.

Casting Director: So she must be a Mom. The sort of Mom Dr. Laura would be if she were a woman.

McCain: Family values. Pro-life. Remember the young Debbie Reynolds? Saucy but sweet. A soccer mom type.

Casting Director: Soccer mom is old. I'm thinking hockey mom. More active. I'm thinking Alaska. That governor woman in Alaska.

McCain: I said I wanted an unknown, but not an Eskimo.

Casting Director: No, no... the Alaska woman was once a model before she became a governor. Been in office a few weeks, but still a hockey mom.

McCain: That's good. No baggage like Joe Biden has.

Casting Director: She's a little too pretty, but I'll tell her to wear her glasses. And bring her kids.

McCain: She must wear her glasses when she meets Cindy.

Casting Director: I'll set up a screen test. With glasses. Plus, I think I can get options on her.

McCain: Must have options. If she works out we want to own her for two terms.

Casting Director: It's in the bag.

So that's how I think McCain chose his co-star. And he'd better be happy with his choice because this show is already on the road.

Comments

[Liberoservative]

I am watching the CSPAN coverage of the RNC and I am looking really hard.... I MEAN REALLY HARD for a non white face in this convention...

I haven't found one yet....
Can you guys do a tally?

Like... I found one!!!!!!!
He was a black dude..

I found one!!!!
He was an hispanic dude...

and now they are saying that Sarah Pawlenti is gonna be the next vice president???
That has to be a mis speak

[Liberoservative]

Your answer is so totally ridiculous that I am ashamed of myself for posting a rebuttal....

With Barack the whole message is this....

Tjhis election is not about him... it is about us.....

It is about all of us that have been stomped on the last many years......

It is about us finally finding our voices... that we will NOT allow the Coporations rule our lives.... it is about the fact that McSame chose somebody that espouses his views which, the latest abuse of powers articles, tells me that he has absolutely NO judgement...

You want that guy to have his finger on our Nucear Arsenal???

No way.. no how... no McCain!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wds]

Several McCain aids were spotted at a Walgreens buying EPT's. When cornered for an explanation, they said they were going to dump Palin and start a new VP search.

[happypup]

It has been said that a Presidential candidate's selection of a running mate is his/her first major deicision and tells us a lot about his/her judgment and leadership. What does John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin say? Was it an adroit political move or confirmation of poor judgment?

[writergirlinLA]

I find it odd that on the official McCain campaign website, the only thing they can come up with about Palin on their "About" page is to use a transcript of her Dayton, OH speech instead of a bio of her life and accomplishments. This tells me that there was no vetting process whatsoever!

http://www.johnmccain.com/about/governorpalin.htm

[TotallyAmazed]

Love that Dr. Laura comment. Too funny.

[TSPEY]

WHO IS SARAH PALIN?... An Alaskan's perspective...

Pros, cons and analysis. Read all about her at:

http://tspey.wordpress.com/


Another great Alaskan blog:

http://mudflats.wordpress.com/

[RevSpaminator]

Scandal after scandal. Didn't the republicans screen this woman at all? The current media coverage is less about her unworthiness to be VP and more about the McCain campaign's complete lack of competence.

[Punahou64]

How about a prediction that she tearfully uses her "acceptance speech" to decline to serve- over the strong objections of John McCain-blaming the "liberal media" and bloggers for hurting her family- admits her novice status and for the "best interest of the campaign- which should be about etc...., not me, I won't run and urge you to support McCain's new choice for VP- Joe Lieberman" McCain gets what he wanted all along, the right is appeased because he picked one of them- and fought for her when the bad press took her on with all their lies. Nice thing about a prediction like this is we will know in a few hours. And it was all scripted last week.

[schicklett3]

Yesterday was John McCain's 72nd birthday. If elected, he'd be the oldest president ever inaugurated. And after months of slamming Barack Obama for "inexperience," here's who John McCain has chosen to be one heartbeat away from the presidency: a right-wing religious conservative with no foreign policy experience, who until recently was mayor of a town of 9,000 people.

Huh?

Who is Sarah Palin? Here's some basic background:


She was elected Alaska's governor a little over a year and a half ago. Her previous office was mayor of Wasilla, a small town outside Anchorage. She has no foreign policy experience.1

Palin is strongly anti-choice, opposing abortion even in the case of rape or incest.2

She supported right-wing extremist Pat Buchanan for president in 2000. 3

Palin thinks creationism should be taught in public schools.4

She's doesn't think humans are the cause of climate change.5

She's solidly in line with John McCain's "Big Oil first" energy policy. She's pushed hard for more oil drilling and says renewables won't be ready for years. She also sued the Bush administration for listing polar bears as an endangered species"she was worried it would interfere with more oil drilling in Alaska.6
How closely did John McCain vet this choice? He met Sarah Palin once at a meeting. They spoke a

In picking Sarah Palin, John McCain has made the religious right very happy. And he's made a very dangerous decision for our country.

[peedeeson]

It has been my impression over the last year that teen pregnancy was getting out of hand and that it
was not a situation to be "glorified" as by the Spears and Palin's daughter. Now watch the great Evangelcal
standard bearer's change their standards.

[arthur2008]

This selection leaves no doubt that John McCain is not only seeking to continue the disastrous policies of the Bush administration, but hopes to equal that failed presidency in mind-boggling incompetence as well.

[zedthewizard]

funny!

[try2beobjective]

If I were paranoid, I would look at it this way.

1. The cabel headed by Cheney wants to keep power
2. They somehow force Palin on Mcain
3. They rig the election, just like the last 2
4. Mcain wins, and dies within 3 weeks, looks like natural causes, but.....
5. Bingo, the cabel has a puppet
6. They continue to enrich themselves and turn our government even more facist.

[8yearsoffear]

Experience without Judgement = incompetence!

Obama '08

[amusedbutnotconfused]

Your equation is incompete....

Experience without Judgement=incompetence=Obama '08

You were really close, you just forgot the last equal sign.

Have a great day!