I have just returned from a men's training weekend. Okay, I think it's true to say that these weekends have come in for a lot of misinformed rumors and a good bit of nervous mockery in recent years -- particularly amongst those who might have reason to fear them the most. I'll tell you upfront that this one, the New Warrior Training Adventure, when I first experienced it in 1992, was a life-saver for me.
I had by then developed, over the years, a huge amount of self-protective armor which served only to cut me off from those I loved the most, not to mention the rest of the world. I was pretty much unreachable, at least at the level of basic human feeling. Like many men, I had learned that it was not safe to trust anything much in the way of emotions, let alone expose myself to the risk of actually sharing them with anyone else. When I first heard about the NWTA, though, I was in a barrel of emotional trouble in my life with no way of knowing how to extricate myself from it. Its title was enough to provoke my own intellectual ridicule and resistance. "Warriors"? What an obnoxious concept. "Adventure"? Please, we're adults, aren't we?
And yet the day after I first heard about it, I signed up and sent my money in. I don't know why. Call it an instinct that somehow superseded every other instinct in my body. I was not merely skeptical, I was petrified. But I showed up. I showed up, as one friend later described it, shrink-wrapped. And I emerged, if not a totally new man, at least a man who was open to looking at his life with emotional honesty and integrity.
Since then, I have served on staff for more than twenty weekends. I am privileged to be thought of as a senior staffer at this point, and to provide some significant part of the eldership our organization honors. I take enormous pleasure and pride in the response I get from men whom I myself honor enormously, and respect.
That said, I have been on a kind of sabbatical from the weekends for the past couple of years and more. To be back, after this long hiatus, and in a position of real responsibility, was a challenge only intensified by a particularly challenging weekend leadership team.
And as is usually the case, the greater the challenge, the greater the reward. The location, in the mountains up behind Santa Barbara, was a gift of nature, beautiful and serene. (On Sunday morning, as I was leading a particularly... well, spiritual event, a half dozen red-headed woodpeckers were playing happily among the pine trees up ahead of me.) The staff men, thirty or more of them, were magnificent, fiercely present, challenging, compassionate. And the men who were there to experience the weekend for the first time came willing to put in the hard work -- emotional, intellectual, physical -- that we asked of them. On their way back home, they were eager to say that they got as much, if not more than they had bargained for. I myself see the weekend as a meticulously planned and passionately enacted piece of participatory theater, in which a man is invited -- as in all good theater -- to travel down into the murky depths of his soul, and to emerge with whatever gold he finds there.
Too many of us men, in today's troubled world, have failed to grow out of being little boys. We boss and strut and bully and control to hide our insecurities, we addict ourselves to booze or women or work to hide our fears of being seen for who we are. Too often we refuse to see ourselves and too often we deny accountability for our actions. Too often we carry around huge shadows without recognizing how our shadows can control us and damage those around us. We can, mindlessly, cause endless anguish for ourselves, the women we love, our families. I think of our (thankfully!) past president and see the dire, worldwide damage caused by one ungrown little boy.
And yet we are good people, we men, I promise you. We are inspired by mission, a sense of purpose, and a vision. We are powerful, each in our own way. We are capable of great deeds, of noble generosity, of amazing acts of selflessness. We can be smart, and subtle in our thought. Underneath the armor all too many of us were encouraged to put on as boys, we are also capable of experiencing and sharing love. It's these qualities I see when I serve on staff at a New Warrior Training Adventure, and these qualities we invite other men to find in themselves. It's a truly inspirational experience.
As a concluding note, the NWTA is now offered in many locations in the US and Canada, as well as in Europe, South Africa and Australia. The umbrella organization, The Mankind Project, is international in scope, and more than 40,000 strong. Its mission is no less than to change the world, one man at a time. We need more good, well directed masculine energy in this world. I happen to believe that this is one way to inspire and release it.
Wayne Pribble
So, I agree it is worth a look, and for many men, participating, however, caveat emptor.
All organizations risk dissolution without new members--just ask a member of a mainstream Protestant church. Speaking of which, would you accuse mainstream Protestant churches of being Ponzi schemes simply because they desire new members? I hope not.
A Ponzi scheme sells the promise of profits when no product exists. In the case of MKP, churches, and many other not-for-profit organizations, there is indeed a "product" (personal and spiritual growth, community, love, knowledge) and one does not lose the "product" if the organization ceases to exist.
Sincerely,
Mark
Yes, absolutely, I agree, it's not for every man. AND it's still a life-changer for the vast majority of those who experience it.
My experience on the NWTA in the UK opened my eyes to parts of my life I didn't even know were missing.
To be able to lay yourself bare to a group of complete strangers, all the time understanding at the deepest level that you will be accepted without judgement, supported (not 'saved'), and challenged where necessary was truly special.
drjoe a - I will agree that Peter's comment regarding your last President seems somewhat at odds with the MKP ethos, but to call it 'unsubstantiated' does not feel like an honest interpretation to me.
Do we really need to have seen the child that has grown to adulthood to attempt to see their shadows? Surely what he knew is irrelevant when his actions and demeanour speak so loudly?
I personally, and I would have thought I am far from alone amongst fellow Warriors, find it hard not to see the damaged child walking around in the man's body.
Go well brothers.
Thank you for speaking your truth to the world.
It was 1999 when I experienced the training here in Philadelphia.
My life was changed overnight by this work and it helped me to maintain a deep connection and set healthy boundaries during a long and difficult divorce.
Today my sons 21 & 17 yrs old are closer to me than I ever could have imagined.
Last weekend we completed another training here in Philadelphia and last night our community had a welcoming celebration for 26 New Brothers. The transformation in these men after only one week as shared by them and their families is truly a blessing to witness.
I am grateful for my experience and blessed to part of this international organization.
Like one of the men shared last night, "We Need This".
Blessings
Jim Katona
Center Director New Warrior Philadelphia
http://philly.mkp.org/
The world needs more of men such as you.
The ManKind Project is only 25 years old, and in some ways we are now entering our adulthood.
There are many men out there in the world who could benefit from attending the New Warrior Training Adventure.
With posts like yours, perhaps more will be intrigued to attend the training.
Good on you, mate!
Les Sinclair
Leader Council Chairman, MKP
I echo all the positive comments regarding MKP and specifically the NWTA.
And I take umbrage with your unsubstantiated and judgmental comment about our past president being an "ungrown little boy". I doubt you know the man personally, or all the things he knew about the terroristic threats towards are country. Unfortunately, I (and maybe you) depend on the media for that information (true or untrue). I mean, did you really know him as a little boy? Do you really know his wounds, his scars?
One thing I did learned on my weekends is how not to pass unsubstantiated judgments on a man (and therefore all persons) without taking the time to know and understand his shadows, his wounds, his gold. I'm not all surprised that comments such as this one are commonplace on this website, which leans to the left (and sometimes to the far left).
I am sad that you, the author, made it while being an advocate of MKP/NWTA. I trust that you were not "required" to make this comment on this website in order to publish your piece, economy, and so on.
I know that there are those that will take issue with my comments. And here is what else I've learned as a warrior: What others think about me is not my reality; what others think about me is not my truth; and what others think about me is none of my business.
Respectfully,
Joe A. Anzaldua/Noble Dog
It might sound silly but one book in particular spoke to me as much as anything I've read. It was "He" by Jungian Analyst Robert A. Johnson. The book relies on the myth of the Holy Grail as allegory of a man's search for meaning.
I read this post and now I will consume anything I might read about the topics and orgainiations described therein.
Thanks for this...so many aching, strutting bantam roosters need it so badly.
david brownstein
http://www.hollywoodcoaching.com