When Do We All Grow Up?
(An invitation: in a moment of sudden and inexplicable insanity, I signed up yesterday to Twitter. Let me know if you Twitter too. We could "follow" each other...!)
Okay, I do understand where they're coming from, this growing chorus of liberal critics of Obama. Like them, I'd wish for him to take many stances and promote many policies that have not yet been forthcoming. I want a public health care option. In fact, I'd rather go for a single payer system, nation-wide. I want equality for every citizen, no matter what their sexual orientation. Gay marriage? Of course! Gays in the military? Way past time. I'd like nothing better than to hear a strong voice in opposition to the power of multinational corporations, financial institutions and insurance companies, and I'm all for strict regulation of their activities. I don't trust any of them. I want an end to the depressing saga of the Middle East, and peace between Israel and the Palestinians. I want Guantanamo closed. I want us out of Iraq, right now, and I do not want us getting any further involved in Afghanistan--but I also want the Taliban and other extremists to be disempowered and neutralized. Oh, and yes, of course, while we're at it, I want to see an end to totalitarianism in states like Iran and North Korea.
All these things I want. But let's for God's sake not be childish. Let's not stamp our feet and pout because we're not getting everything we want this instant. We've gotten ourselves into a huge, stinking mess, and it has taken us collectively years--well, decades--to do it. Is it not a trifle disingenuous for us to expect this one man, Obama, to step up and wave a wand to get us out of it all at once?
Let's be honest. The problems that we face right now have been a long time in the making, and they result from choices we ourselves have made along the way. Was it not we voters (not me, of course!) who decided back in the 1970s that we did not like paying taxes, and elected Ronald Reagan to cut them for us (though even He, the Great One, remember, in fact did the opposite!) Have we not spent years protecting and insulating ourselves from the rest of the world--its disease, its poverty, its hunger and other deprivation? Have we not allowed the bigoted and the blindly religious to determine policies toward everyone the least bit different from ourselves? Have we not worshiped at the illusory altar of "strong leadership," while we ourselves do everything to subvert it? And, out in the world, have we not been at pains to promote the myth of "a strong America," as we stomp around in heavy military boots? Have we not listened without the benefit of critical judgment to those who shrieked hysterically about "socialized medicine"? Have we not bought in, endlessly, to those who would sell us snake oil, or promised us a free lunch? Have we not eagerly grabbed, ourselves, at easy profits, idolized false prophets, and celebrated empty notions of success? Have we not raised celebrity above substance, our own material comfort above that of others?
Did we not expose ourselves to the ridicule of the world by impeaching a president for a minor sexual indiscretion? And electing--and, incredibly, reelecting--another of inconsequential intelligence and clearly limited understanding to the most powerful office in the world? Did we not allow ourselves to be lied to, cheated, and led by our noses into an unnecessary and painfully costly war?
And now, as though in recognition of all this, we may have half-way repented, electing a man who sees things differently, who acts with forethought and circumspection, who wisely recognizes limits--both his own, and the country's--and is willing to listen to the opinions of others rather than spout his own agenda. (And Bill Maher wants "more Bush"!) We have elected this man, and now feel entitled to berate him for not providing an immediate resolution to all our problems.
What children we all are! How lacking in patience, foresight, and forbearance! How incapable of seeing anything beyond our own immediate needs. How gimme, gimme, gimme, now! I look around and I wonder, for God's sake, when do we all grow up?
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I do see how my piece could have been read this way, but am surprised and disappointed to see it turned into something different from its intention. Clearly, it was not intended to minimize the urgency of gay rights, but rather to put ALL these things, gay rights included, MY rights included, into the broader perspective I think we need to take if we're to become a different, more tolerant, more embracing society. A part of what I was trying to say was that we have acquired, to our detriment, this habit of personalizing everything: it all gets to be about ME and my issues. What I tried to suggest in my title is that we could use a more adult perspective than this I-centered one we lived with--appropriately--as children.
As an adult, when someone I've hired to do a job does it incorrectly I criticize. In the "broader perspective" Obama isn't dancing with the ones who brung him to the dance.
I see it a bit differently, and propose a different analogy. I don't see him as "someone we've hired to do a job," but rather as someone we've chosen to captain a sports team. We've entrusted him with the responsibility to make decisions in a constantly changing series of situations; in this analogy, we're the armchair quarterbacks.
Gay Americans' fight for equal protection under the law is not something that just popped up six months ago. Gay citizens have been fighting for equality since at least 1924 with the Society for Human Rights and 1950 with the Mattachine Society. That continued on in 1969 with the Stonewall Riots.
Yet according to Peter Clothier, we"re childish. "Let’s not stamp our feet and pout because we're not getting everything we want this instant." For decades Democratic politicians have routinely, actively courted gay voters during elections only to turn around and knife us in the back once they get into office, using similar accusations of impatiens to cover their betrayal.
So no, Peter Clothier's accusation that we are impatient children stomping our feet, doesn't wash. The fact this condescending, malicious mischaracterization is coming from a straight, white male who takes the rights we seek for granted, makes it even more ludicrous. It is just more of the same tired anti-gay nonsense piled onto the heap that has been accumulating for decades.
Justice delayed is justice denied.
Excellent historical perspective with bonus points for the MLK paraphrase.
I can't tell you how disappointed I've been to discover that America's first black president is a fan of not only separate but equal but justice delayed.
No, you got me wrong. YOU are not childish. WE are childish, as a nation. One aspect of our childishness, certainly, is our inability to see beyond our own immediate needs. When I say I want us to "grow up," I do not intend to target gay Americans, who have their entirely justifiable sense of urgency; but rather a national tendency to see things, as children--appropriately--do, through the lens of "what I want."
THANK YOU!!!!! So well said and I wish this article were far more prominently posted on HuffPo. It needs lots of readers who need some serious soul searching and need to ask themselves if they need to evaluate if they are truly giving Obama the patience that his administration needs.
So often people really didn't listen to Obama when he campaigned, he said the road would be long and it would all take time. Everyone wants their issue addressed NOW and everyone is how many millions of people. I am impressed by the focus that his administration shows and the "no drama" atmosphere. I thought his last press conference showed he is in charge and won't be pushed around.
He asked us all to work with him through his Presidency. That was the deal - not to sit back and whine when you didn't get yours when you thought it was your turn. It's a big tent and there are unexpected crises that have come along the way. There are people who literally cannot take care of roof over their head right now and that isn't his fault, but it is his responsibility to address it.
If you were a supporter, what have you done to help like you promised you would?
I've read it and so have many others in this blog and under so many "defend Obama at any cost" reader posts. And we've rejected these ad nauseum arguments for cause. What I've done to help (as I promised) is tell the President when he's gone so far off the track from what I want and/or what he promised that he needs to be checked. I never promised to support his use of secrecy to protect war criminals, his assault on gay rights (and indeed human dignity), or his failure to consider all real health care reform options.
I wonder the same thing too. It amazes me that people expect everything to happen now and just like they want it to happen. For example, I've been in debt before and it takes time and a plan to get out of debt. I wish I could have magically waved a wand and fixed it but it doesn't work that way. It took me YEARS to get out of that debt.
People need to grow up and realize that we have screwed ourselves (just like I screwed myself when I was in debt) and it is time for us all to grow up and start acting responsibly. If we don't, God help us all.
I haven't run into anyone demanding that everything happen at once. I have run into any number of people defending against the attack of this straw army though.
I do see lots of valid criticism leveled at how President Obama is making his decisions and at the fruits of those decisions. That's the duty of citizens of course.
Great commentary !! I have felt like pulling my hair out trying to get the very same sentiment across to people, only you said it so much better! You put all my thoughts in one cohesive column.
I'm not really sure what some Americans want...... We just lived through the most gawd awful period in American history, with the dumbest person who ever sat in the WH, and his VP the most wicked criminal in the world.
There is not a corner of this country that Bush/Cheney did not mess up and mess up royally. It will take a decade or more to put everything right again. We just had a election and spoke loudly about the change we wanted.
Now, we have a President who is trying to bring about change and all you hear are gripes from one faction or another. We have a national party, the Republicans, who are hell bent on making sure he fails, not for anything do they care about the American people, just about retaining power that they don't have anymore,
And...remind me again why we need Repulbicans to pass Health Reform ???? Grow a spine Dems. Pass it with a 51% vote and to HE---LL with Republicans.
Amazing. I can almost know who my fellow gays are by the their degree of impatience toward Obama. I see a longer term more successful strategy at work as opposed to an imprudent attempt to ram thru promises that may only cause more resistance. He'll strike....at the right time....after the American public has done it's job of building up critical mass of gay acceptance.
I understand the impatience. I'm old enuf now that gay marriage is probably beyond my reach. I have no foreign lover who I can't share life with. I'm a divorced Air Force vet who has no stake anymore in DADT or DOMA and no one who needs my medical oversight. But for nearly 20 years I've been a local activist writer on gay issues in our regional newspaper and I think I've made some difference. My roll in the national gay drama is winding down. So it's easy for me to say "be patient".
I didn't get all I wanted in life either. But each generation misses some good things that come to the next. Timing is everything and life won't give it all to you and you can't force it. To everything there is a season....... and I've had mine. I have been to the mountaintop of love. More than once!! Not everyone can say that. It is enuf.
I'll still write, but for YOU now.
Justice delayed is justice denied. Patience gets you nothing -- at what point does a homophobic society change? As I see it, our only hope is when the youth of today are adults and in charge. They do not have the hangups that many people my age (or older) have. I would probably dislike Obama less if he would just stop pretending to being a "fierce advocate" -- he is neither. I am tired of waiting -- I have waited a lifetime.....
We actually elected our first black president and found out he's for separate but equal AND justice delayed.
MKL must be spinning in his grave.
Thanks for this comment, Soulmentor. I'm distressed to see my article seized upon and turned into something it was not. I'll stand up for gay rights as strong as anyone. But let's work with an understanding of the bigger picture, which simply does not allow for everything, all at once--no matter how much I wish it would.
It is amazing to find both an Obama apologist as author and a cadre mostly of Obama apologists in one place. Those of us who supported Obama with dollars and our votes but are disappointed in him at this stage (the nerve of us) have every right to be so. I have heard the "but he's got a lot on his plate" argument ad nauseum -- it is worn it and I for one am sick of hearing it from the Obamabots. Obmaa is no fool -- he does indeed have a plan, a strategy, and my guess is that gay rights are not in his plans. If anything, he has gone out of his way to offend the LGBT community [can you say #1 --Rick Warren, #2 -- DOJ DOMA filing (incest and pedophilia accusations), #3 -- anemic rights for federal employees, #4 -- no acknowledging of states who have gained gay marriage rights]? As an African-American gay male, I am so disappointed in him and I will not apologize for being "whiny". I bet that the author (and you Obama apologists) would be "whiny" if you were denied basic rights and your right to equality put up to popular vote by a bigoted, fear-based society.
Personally I have little trouble with the things Obama hasn't gotten to. It's the things he HAS gotten to and got wrong that raise my hackles.
And isn't the population at large being denied basic rights with the inadequacies of American healthcare right now? Why do you see a delay in attending to LGBT-related laws as a reason to insist that the administration is a failure rather than understanding that you are all in it for the long haul? Why does the LGBT community work so hard to alienate all its supporters? Yes, your civil rights have been denied in the past, and should NOT be any longer. Yes, it is a matter of immediate importance. But can you not agree that since then-Senator Obama started campaigning, the world has fundamentally changed - economically. He campaigned on a platform based on what was assumed to be a healthy capitalist economy. Who knew that 2 months before your elections, America would nose-dive and take most of the world with it? Should no recognition be made of the fact that priorities will shift?
It's you and people like you on this thread that this auther is writing about. Everyone has an issue or personal concern that may not have been addressed by the president yet, but some of us are being big whiny cry babies about it cause their's is the only issue that matters and Obama didn't wave his magic wand and fix it right away. Boo Hoo. I'm gonna stamp my feet and hold my breath now.
And, how dare you assume that your the only one who has been denied basic human rights!
Ever hear of health care? I haven't had any in almost ten years.
Obama said that it is also up to us the help get things done. So instead of throwing a hissy fit and stamping your feet; pick up the phone and call your senator! every damn day if you have to! Just do something! This is how progress is made. The people need to help it along.
This country and ALL it's people have been crapped on for the las 8 years! And you expect this man to shovel us out all by himself. How about picking up a shovel yourself and stop being so selfish.
This badly needed to be said. Thank you, Peter. I think that part of the problem is that the Progressive blogosphere developed and grew as an opposition movement and opposing seems to be all that too many of the bloggers know how to do.
JG.
Yes, we opposed Bush when he did things and we oppose Obama when he does THE SAME THINGS. It's called principle. Get ya some.
Thank you for this very rational article. There are probably several hundred things the President said during the campaign that he wants to do during the 8 years he hopes to be President. I feel confident that he has plans and time-tables as to when he will begin working on the various issues, which will be pursued at times his team feels will most likely result in success. Although he hasn't tackled the issues most important to me in his first 5 months in office, I certainly don't think that means he will never do them or that it's a "broken" promise. Governmental change is slow and issues have to be prioritized. Unfortunately, the President not only has to battle with the GOP and the GOP-owned media which spews right wing talking points against his plans 24/7. He also has a ridiculously high number of narcissistic, special-interest-owned Senate Democrats who don't seem to realize they are on the Democratic team. Maybe they resent how that young dynamic Junior Senator leap-frogged past them to the Presidency with lightening speed., so they're challenging him at every turn..
Thank you DC10!!! Your post is almost better than the original article!!!!
Thank you! I know that there are people have waited a long time for their issue, but it seems to me like they fail to see that if they've been working on it for years and they haven't been able to fix it why do they think that President Obama can come into office and fix it overnight?
The cold hard reality is that even if he was a fierce advocacte for all of ourissues it's a strong possibilty that they still would not be fixed or certainly not fixed ASAP. We are working this a extremly nasty group of Republicans that certainly do not care about the true welfare of this country as well as some Democrats that are only thinking about being re-elected. It amazes me that the man is actually able to come out fighting everyday with the hits he takes constantly.
What if he HAS tackled issues important to you and done the wrong thing? Perhaps things he promised not to do? Will you wait all 8 years before bringing this up? Or would that be too resentful?
Finally, finally, finally someone who has enough guts to say this! i just can't believe that we are a country of such low intelligence that people can't figure this out for themselves.
Oh, we've got just about enough intelligence to know when someone isn't coming through for us.
Some of us do. Some just keep making excuses.
YEA!!!!!! Kucinich/Nader '12!!! Yeah right... Whom do you think could be doing better at this point?!?! Either your a tro//, or you need to readjust your helmet.
Thank you and about time someone said/wrote it!
Every time Obama screws us someone writes/says it. It's getting old.
We're not only "not getting what we want this instant" we're not even getting a president who isn't living up to the slender hope he offered liberals and progressives during the campaign.
For god sakes we've elected a black man who's for separate but equal AND justice delayed? In some areas he's just a more articulate BUSH!!!!
When exactly do you think it's time to point out that we've been sold down the river?
You are a great example of what Clothier is talking about.
I'm an example of who he's talking to anyway. That was my point.
You elected him for a FOUR year term; it's barely 6 months into that term. I'd say it'll be time to point out that you've "been sold down the river" no earlier than halfway through the first term, say about January 2011.
Thank you so much for this article. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to lose the hope in the people of America that I had regained last November.
I've stopped reading several blogs that used to be high on my list, including some written by people who I consider to be friends, because of all this whiny petulance and comparing Obama to Bush. I'm not sure what they expected to happen, nor am I sure which liberal icon (usually but not always Dennis Kucinich) we could have possibly elected that would have gotten all that done so fast.
If President Obama is moving more slowly than we'd like, a big reason is that he's got a lot of opposition that doesn't really care what the public thinks, and that opposition has a lot of clout in Washington. FDR didn't have to fight huge government bureaucracies, he had to create them from the ground up. And he had far more support from his fellow Democrats at the time than Mr. Obama does now.
This doesn't mean to say of course that the President is beyond criticism: like all politicians he needs people to push him in the right direction. But there's a difference between constructive criticism and being a crybaby, and unfortunately too many have chosen the latter.
Cup O' Joe
http://cupojoe.blogspot.com
I agree with everything you said. I know my reading is getting limited these days along with my TV viewing ...LOL
Ah, the voice of reason in a sea of insanity. Thank you for taking the time to write this article. I share your sentiments as well. It will be interesting to see how many comments you get...I'm noticing that society seems to be addicted to gubenatorial affairs, fear of getting the short end of the stick with regard to healthcare, and a steady diet of Fox News, all while avoiding (at a high cost) the necessary self-reflection. I'm not going to give up, and your article has provided a glimmer of hope.
Yes. Please everyone. Just wait another 4 years and President Obama will come up with another list of promises to forget after election day.
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